Monday, 26 August 2013

Bisikan Syaitan (2013)

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"Why did you put the twist inside the synopsis ?!?! Why ?!?!"

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Nabila Huda all sullen, like.
At a glance:
This might not be the longest 80 minutes of your life, but film editor Faizul Rashid's debut feature Bisikan Syaitan (2013) (literally: Satan's Whisper) suffers the stunnin marketin incompetence of havin a widely circulated synopsis that effectively reveals the big twist in the movie. Why do things like this still happen? What a fuckin waste of time it was for me. Who am I to ask for a replacement DVD or download voucher apology from Grand Brilliance producers Tengku Iesta Tengku Alaudin and Latiff Mohaideen for havin sat through this farce? Bisikan Syaitan is a sorry shyte excuse of a supernatural horror, shot at Frasers Hill and Kuala Kubu Baru for a reported RM 1.5m. It opened in Malaysia last month, rakin in some RM 790k.
Bad news on the doorstep:
"Can't you give me a better T-shirt?"
If that's not bad enough, stick around and run through the genre tropes with me. This movie is about 20 or 30 years behind time, with all its cardboard characters and cheesy scare scenes. Maybe some of these actresses take the term Scream Queen in horror movies to mean you have to scream an awful lot. Screamin at the top of your lungs in every distress scene is not actin! Nabila Huda is ace in any bohsia role but she's no scream queen. The other actress, Wan Sharmila, commands no screen presence and apparently a steamy scene between her and Fizz Fairuz was lost to the censors.What's left? A Tweety t-shirt and a whole lot of screamin.
Perennial wonderment:
How many times have we seen a good premise on paper, completely lost to rubbish execution? Maybe that's why some of the older MIG horror flicks were quite watchable -- they had some measure of pace and execution, to mask its inadequate story. Workin with Nanie Ishak's script that
has everythin from watermelon and coconut juice to human placenta and explodin computer screens, how did it turn out so bad? Whispers here, whispers there. Whispers do not make a movie!
Reminds me of:
The last time I enjoyed a horror movie at home was 9-9-81 (2012) a few weeks ago. In a cinema? Probably as far back as Laddaland (2011).
I can't remember if I cried:
Wan Sharmila seksi pisau cinta nasi kangkang kongkek MIG BISIKAN SYAITAN movie fail download 3gp tudung asrama
"Hey yo wassup you hospital folks y'all? Where da party be at?"
Dynas cameos as a doctor. Talk about bein miscast. All that flowin hair, walkin in and out of ORs like it's a Pantene ad. When will they learn? Wotta joke. What can you expect from a movie that screws up the font spacin in its title cards?
Farrah Nadia
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Doe-eyed child actor Farrah Nadiah is by far the best thing about this terrible effort, though I can't knock Fizz Fairuz for anythin. I can't believe them guys left that cliched last scene in the final cut. You know I'm only angry because I care. This was a piss poor project, even for the undemandin local standards. Back to the drawin board, fellas.1/2
Bonus material:
"You're under arrest for starring in a criminally poor movie."