We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011)

"Does it look like we're havin' fun, pal?"

Mummy's little monster...

At a glance:

Just what do you do if you gave birth to the Antichrist? Well, if it really is Satan's spawn, you could try copyin what the priest does in The Omen (1976) but what if it's just an impossible child? What if your colicky son grows up refusin all attempts to love him and starts mimickin emotions to conceal the sociopath within? If you're thinkin of havin a child, stay away from this movie. Unlike supernatural horrors like Grace (2009), this Lynne Ramsay film is an adaptation of  Lionel Shriver's 2003 fiction novel - a slow-burn disturbia that envelops you carefully behind its hypnotic grip. It's an R-rated character study into a confused mother (a perfectly cast Tilda Swinton), her deranged Satan of a son (played at different ages by Rock Duer, Jasper Newell and Ezra Miller) and to a certain extent, the ignorant but well-meanin father (John C. Reilly).

Bad news on the doorstep:

You might be unlucky enough to have read some of the synopses and reviews out there that essentially gave away what I think is vital to sustainin your fascination with its non-linear narrative. I think even the distributors don't think it matters - but I've kept it away from you if this is the first time you're readin about the film. Trust me, don't even click on the trailer below.

Spaced out Ezra Miller
plays the Satan of a son.

Perennial wonderment:

 The androgynous talent that is Tilda Swinton needs to win more awards. She's not even mentioned in this year's Oscars because people can't stop ravin on and on about The Help (2011) and even on home ground she lost her BAFTA shot to Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011).

Reminds me of:

World's Greatest Dad (2009) was the last time I watched a problem kid for the most part of a movie but this Kevin kid is way beyond that. Drop me a comment if you've watched worse.

I can't remember if I cried:

When the split narrative converges and you finally discover why you really, really needed to talk about Kevin.

"Man these cheap tampons can't do heavy flow days."

Most memorable line:

Why would I not understand the context? I am the context.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

A four-star discussion on the nature of parentin. Are they people who are born bad? Or is it always the fault of the guardian?  Intense camerawork, needs your full attention. Kevin's partin words will stay with you for a while.
Trailer for the curious:

Young Adam (2003)

At a glance:
A rather claustrophobic sex-soaked drama about a bloke who knows somethin about a dead woman found in a river. Yes, it's another movie where you can see Ewan McGregor's one-kilo knob, just like Rogue Trader, Trainspotting, Stay and my favourite McGregor film, The Pillow Book. Movie has no real resolution nor reward but it's shot marvelously and does have some pretty interestin performances.
Perennial wonderment:
Tilda Swinton, who plays an adulterous and brutally amoral old hag in this movie. She's completely unattractive yet you still wanna boink her, just like in Orlando.
Reminds me of:
David Cronenberg's Spider with Ralph Fiennes. It has that same kind of troubled quietness to all its scenes. However it's more of a one-man drifter movie than a mystery-thriller like that one.
Watch out for:
An absurd sex scene involvin custard (good custard too, insists Ewan's character) - this scene is apparently so bizarre and outrageous that the baffled actor questioned the director many times about it. For the pervo, it was absolutely great seein Emily Mortimer nude in that scene. Voted one of the worst sex scenes ever in fim history - and I absolutely enjoyed it. Hell I've been in love with Emily Mortimer's body since Robert Carlyle got a taste of it in The 51st State. Lucky cunt.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Three and a half. Those Scottish river life scenes were just as interestin as the sex scenes.