Mama's Guest (2004) @ مهمان مامان Mehmane Maman

"This cake, it is made from virgin juice. I marinated all night."

At a glance:

Iranian cinema vet Golab Abdineh plays the matriarch of a poor family. She's thrown into a tight spot - they have to welcome her policeman nephew and his bride but they haven't got a single morsel of food in the house! Like the old school Hitchcock movies, we're given a slow introduction to the characters, some of which include her cinema projectionist husband Yousef (Paras Pirouzfar), her naughty young son Amir, her daughter Bahareh (Melika Sharifinia), and neighbourin busybodies like a chemist (Amin Hayayee) and an old hag (Farideh Sepah Mansour). Simply to give the good colonel (he's just a sergeant, really) and his exquisite wife a feast, everybody puts their wits together and overcomes adversity in charmin ways. Not dissimilar to the Asian values of pride and "face" as incessantly repeated in the film, this tight-knit family is so enamoured with preparation and procedure that they become instantly likeable, although it may take longer than usual to relate to their culture of halvas and curious posters of bodybuilders on their walls.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Not for everyone, obviously.

Perennial wonderment:

When you watch a movie like Mama's Guest (2004) @ مهمان مامان Mehmane Maman, you'd realise why fast food culture in the 20th century completely destroyed the family as a unit of society. From the process of pickin out the freshest fish to peelin onions and boilin water, home cookin is one of the last bastions of family time that ensured everyone had somethin to do and somethin to talk to each other about. When you place a phone order for McDonald's Value Meals, that old time tradition becomes a bygone relic. That's why Mama's Guest is still a rewardin watch despite appearin very dated for a 2004 film.

Reminds me of:

Cookin pork feet in vinegar with me gran, God rest her soul. Of course, no pork was depicted in this movie about Moslem people.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Three stars. Mama's Guest is a New Year movie - fun and easy to watch. With quirky scenes like an operation on a goldfish to wife-beatin antics by a drug addict, one may find this movie to be just the sort of light entertainment that is interestin enough to stimulate Hollywood-hardened cinematic taste buds. For further readin, please see what this Mongoose guy wrote.

Trailer for the curious:

Cease Fire (2006) @ آتش بس

At a glance:

Please pardon my ignorant Hakka ass if you find this review culturally insensitive - but I do know a thing or two about movies and this is what I believe. When I read that the director for Cease Fire (2006) @ آتش بس is Tahmineh Milāni the foremost feminist face of Iran to the Western world, I knew that the film would be difficult to watch. Jailed for her socio-political activism, I foresaw 120-odd minutes of gender politickin, thinly veiled behind a rom-com settin of urban Iran.
Bad news on the doorstep:

"If you love me, I kill you."

Never would I expect that it was much was much worse – Milani did not even achieve her ideological projection through the film, at least to this reviewer. Her idea of pairin pretty faces Mohammad Reza Golzar and Mahnaz Afshar in a mainstream release is reported to have gone down, at one point, as the best sellin movie in Iranian history, although I wouldn’t be able to verify this. What is certain though is that Cease Fire is one of the most intolerable “good” movies that I have ever come across, in the sense that it is technically sound and yet conceptually difficult to watch. Not that we could complain of not bein able to understand Farsi – the subtitles seem competent enough (although a cat-and-mouse analogy involvin the Chinese Year Of The Cat is suspect). It’s simply the sheer tedium of havin to watch a couple play out the unbelievable premise that the two are together still despite hatin each other so very, very much. For a rom-com to sustain itself, we need to root for its characters or understand the motivation behind their actions. Here we are put through endless scenes of ridiculous domestic squabbles, so much so that it stretches film logic.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

If one could bear with such reckless story-tellin, challenge yourself further by learnin how this movie’s credits mention how it is based on an Italian self-help book, “Recovery Of Your Inner Child”, and goes on the extremely literal approach of expoundin it. Sayeh and Yousef goin about cuttin up each other’s clothes and sawin off their matrimonial bed in two isn’t only outrageously childish – it represents a diversion that discredits the story. Cease Fire should be consigned to Farsi-speakin audiences who want to watch some comedy for a change. For others who do not accept that things may be lost in translation, it may go so far as to be deemed irresponsible filmmakin. One and a half stars.

Trailer for the curious:

Heiran (2009) @ فیلم حیران

Baran Kosari and Mehrdad Sedighian star in Heiran.

Wotta scene.

At a glance:
If you go out with a guy your parents don't like, you might get grounded or have your iPod taken away. In some parts of the world, you might get gunned down with a Kalashnikov. Okay, I exaggerate. Like watchin Ingmar Bergman's Summer With Monika, the throes of young love aren't for the faint hearted, not in 1953 when that movie was made and certainly not in the present day either, especially if you follow the road director-scriptwriter Shalizeh Arefpour wants to takes you. Heiran (also Heiraan) is an indie gem that got its greatest exposure yet at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival recently, chroniclin the difficult romance between one Afghani and one Irani from different worlds.
Bad news on the doorstep:
The version playin at GSC International Screens currently is not 35mm but some DV tape. Blur and difficult to enjoy.
Perennial wonderment:

Accept me, please?

Can Iranians make a more upbeat picture? Well to be fair, unlike some of the more geocentric films that had washed up on these shores recently (namely those 10 titles that ran at the 2008 Iranian Film Fest), Heiran has the advantage of a very universal theme in teenage romance but obviously this isn't your usual Hollywood boy-meets-girl. Thrown in with an immigration angle, we have a 17-year-old village girl Mahi (Baran Kosari) meetin, romancin and then chasin after Heiran (Mehrdad Sedighian) across checkpoints all over the desert. A press release explains: "During the rule of the Taliban in Afghanistan, about three million Afghans, who were mostly illegal immigrants, entered Iran; causing numerous problems for the Iranian society to accept them."
Reminds me of:

Shalizeh Arefpour

Café Setareh, Baran and Summer With Monika.
Most memorable line:
"That's an Afghan for you - always on the run!"
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Half-useful look at a specific administrative problem in world affairs today, with some emotional hooks to keep the pace goin. Could've been an arduous movie like A Very Long Engagement if the director were French, but the "search" part of this movie isn't as long as some would want it to be. That's probably the director wantin to give more focus on the emigrant issue rather than a specific human story. Anyway, here's what Shalizeh Arefpour wanted you to know (in a statement from her): "The thing which can turn an emigrant to a resident, a resident to a dweller and a dweller to an owner is love. I tried to depict the issue of Afghan immigrants whose rights are being trampled along with the rights of my countrywomen."★★★
Bonus material:
I have plenty of hi-res movie stills for you.

Baran Kosari and Farhad Aslani.