Conan The Barbarian (2011)

At a glance:

Rose McGowan plays Marique.

Featurin a relatively unknown cast of pro bodybuilders, the camp classic Conan The Barbarian was released in 1982 and launched the actin career of a certain Arnold Schwarzenegger into international superstardom. Today, Robert Howard's celebrated Cimmerian character lives again through TV's Baywatch Hawaii star Jason Momoa - though the result is Texas Chainsaw Massacre director Marcus Nispel's unfortunate mix of sword-and-sandals with obscene gore - all in the name of violent cinematic fun. They do look pretty damned good though. For those not fascinated by Momoa's carefully chiselled naked butt in the bedroom scenes, the eye candies are Rachel Nichols, pic (Amityville Horror, 2005) and Rose McGowan (Grindhouse, 2007) but they don't do too much. The whole movie has a 'drunken tavern' production design with muddy floorboards and topless barmaids aplenty - and somewhere in between those two you'll find the formidable French actor Saïd Taghmaoui (La Haine, 1995) starrin as an afterthought of a bandit - a testament to how unnecessary this movie really is and how hard it is to get cast in the decent role these days.
Bad news on the doorstep:

"Kill me now. I don't wanna be in this movie."

When it comes to blood, other barbarians are happy to spill but Conan splashes. Rated R Stateside and 18/M18 in Malaysia and Singapore respectively, Conan The Barbarian does more than what it says on the tin if you're lookin to catch some barbarous acts of violence in voluminous gratuity. The story, unrelated to earlier films, follows Conan as a child who grows up hell-bent on findin the evil warlord (Stephen Lang from Avatar) who killed his father (Ron Perlman, Hellboy) and annihilated his entire village in search of a mythical artefact. It is not difficult to agree with the online consensus that this 2011 reupdate lacks heart - as can be felt most jarringly in scenes of emotional downtime with grand music - all failin to resonate with the audience. In short, it's hard to care for the characters no matter how good they look.
Perennial wonderment:

"If I touch you there..."

Hard to tell Momoa from the Baywatch days of Jason Ioane and his pearly whites. He's very committed to the role and nothin like the hunky young lifeguard we remember - but at least he has found a suitable job since apparently receivin 140 stitches on his scarred face in a 2008 bar brawl involvin beer glass. There seems to be blood and violence at every turn when it comes to Conan, eh? Well, Cimmerian or not, check yourself for hepatitis after the show.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Dozed off at the Singaporean premiere plenty of times.★★
Bonus material:

All the natives are happily topless on set. Barbarians, really.

The Hurt Locker (2009)

At a glance:
More Jarhead (2005) than Black Hawk Down (2001), less-than-industrious female director Kathryn Bigelow returns with a technically accomplished, frighteningly realistic and morally challengin war movie called The Hurt Locker. Devoid of all the in-your-face drama and intrusive music that war movies so often shoot down your throat, this compact adventure about a self-conflicted Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) unit with the U.S. Army's Bravo Company is a festival favourite that can win over commercial audiences if only given the chance. We're led to Iraq to follow headstrong Sergeant First Class William James (a composed lead performance by Jeremy Renner, smokin, pic) whose passion for bomb diffusion goes beyond the call for duty. The man doesn't even care that the previous soldier in his position (Guy Pearce) was killed in similar operations but his subordinates certainly don't take kindly to this maverick manoeuvres. The 'safety-first' Sergeant J.T. Sanborn (Anthony Mackie, black, pic) and the nervous Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) form a bond with him but war and death mean different things to each of them. As they go on more and more daily operations involvin the disarmin of improvised explosive devices (IEDs), we're brought uncomfortably close to the action and learn to see what life is like as a soldier.
Perennial wonderment:
Why ain't we seen much from Kathryn Bigelow? Point Break (1991) must be good. Near Dark (1987) was class. Ain't got the chance to see K-19: The Widowmaker (2002) yet.
Reminds me of:
Saïd Taghmaoui and Don Cheadle in Traitor (2008).
Watch out for:
British attitudes towards the war, personified by a Ralph Fiennes cameo. Wonderful suicide bomber sequence near the end. Hurt Locker goes for impact both in terms of physical bombs and human drama. Explosions are dusty and powerful (obligin a slow-mo scene every now and then) and the characters are complex but their actions, singular. They don't need to talk about what they're doin or why they're doin it - they just do it.
Most memorable line:
Colonel Reed: What's the best way to go about disarmin one of these things?
Staff Sergeant William James: The way you don't die, sir.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Reportedly, producer James Cameron said this about his ex-wife's film: I think this could be the Platoon (1986) for the Iraq War. The movie is from an acclaimed source material - best-sellin 2002 novel War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning by a NY Times war correspondent. It even opens with a quote card from it - the rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug. You won't hear many complaints about this neat effort, unless you're sorry Evangeline Lilly from TV's Lost only gets about five minutes of screen time. Four stars.