Thale (2012)

Sought this one out on the strength of this visual alone. Wotta sight!

At a glance:

Thale (pronounced TOH-LUH?) is an impressive indie effort built on Norse mythology (recent fare ranges from Thor to Troll Hunter), from which director Alexander Nordaas serves original tale. He was at hand at the recent Toronto International Film Festival to introduce the movie and share that it was apparently shot with just US$10k on a camera cheaper than a Canon 5D, just one lens throughout. We follow two crime scene cleaners (Jon Sigve Skard, Erlend Nervold) who stumble upon a spectacular discovery - a wild creature called huldra. Think naked blonde mermaid, minus fins, plus tail.

Bad news on the doorstep:

I didn't mind the cartoonish creatures, as most critics did. The most expensive CG work wouldn't have elevated this much. However, I did find it too slow meanderin at times. Could do with a few more edits and should've definitely focused on the magic of the animal and the dynamics of the relationships that follow.

Perennial wonderment:

Silje Reinåmo as the titular forest nymph. Would ya, could ya? I don't know, mate.

Reminds me of:

The Woman (2011), Deadgirl (2008) and The Girl Next Door (2007) but without the mythical spin, of course.

Most memorable line:

None - that's the problem.
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I think the strength of this movie lies in its clean, disquietin visuals but lacks a compellin story arc that would've made the movie more important. Robert Bell of Exclaim points out, "exposition and clumsy character development define the central mystery, with the occasional female castration and image of a mutilated ersatz vagina sewn up reminding us that the theme is all about female subjugation, as exacerbated by the naked woman running about stuffing food into her mouth like a wild animal". The misogyny is picked up on, among others, by Dread Central's Serena Whitney who warns that "those expecting Thale to be a frightening creature feature will be sorely disappointed as the title character is treated more like a mythical hermaphrodite than the lethal siren the trailer makes her out to be. Although there is no doubt that the director intended on making a weirdly touching and emotional film about the kindness of strangers in a callous world, it oddly comes off very contrived and substantially sexist at parts as the one thing that gives Thale power is her cow tail (which is undeniably phallic); and once it’s cut off, she is weak, frail and helpless until the two awkward male protagonists come to save her, conveying to (at least) female viewers everywhere that all a woman needs to build up the strength lying within is to have a man rescue her." I don't have the insight to appreciate that but it definitely fell short emotionally. Here's hopin that the director will attract investment for better movies from him in the future. For more information go visit the official Thale website or its corresponding Facebook page.★★1/2
Bonus material:

Some kinda dance gimmick for the movie's promo at Colosseum Kino, Norway.

All That Matters Is Past (2012) @ Uskyld

Full frontals, baby crownings, rotting corpses and jilted lovers.
All that matters is present!

At a glance:

Well whaddya know. It's my first stab at the Toronto International Film Festival and I've picked out a shocker from the leftover schedule. Sara Johnsen's Uskyld (literal: "innocence") is a rather engrossin Norwegian crime drama that cuts close to fart house fare like Lars von Trier's Antichrist (2009) but she masterfully keeps it accessible by framin it as a dodgy love triangle set in the woods. TIFF programmer Steve Gravestock sells it as "part Cain-and-Abel story, part Rousseau-influenced meditation on innocents destroyed by a corrupted society", about childhood sweethearts William (Kristoffer Joner) and Janne (Maria Bonnevie) who are suddenly reunited as adults and inextricably thrust into an idyllic life of peculiar, self-imposed isolation. The past unravels and you can blame it all on William's damaged pervo brother, Ruud (David Dencik). This isn't the horror rehash of Bergman's Summer With Monika (1953) that I thought it was from the trailer. We're taken well into the obscenest ends of R-rated territory, so prepare to squirm in your seats as several cinephiles lacking the requisite intestinal fortitude for it have left the theatre presumably in disgust, as reported by Toronto Film Scene's Jovana Jankovic.
Bad news on the doorstep:

"Do you feel as if we've been zapped into an Ingmar Bergman movie?"

Maria Bonnevie and Kristoffer Joner
go au naturel in the name of art.

Twitchfilm's Todd Brown didn't fancy it much, decryin its "unlikeable" characters, which he insists are "given no context whatsoever". Man has a point, so it's lucky for us that cinematographer John Andreas Andersen had plenty of filler footage - the proceedings are punctuated by hypnotic visuals of wildlife and whatnot (shot on both 16mm and 35mm). They've even got a couple of special effects done with help from the folks behind Troll Hunter (2010), I think. Anyway, I think what really nibbled at the tension in such a competent and layered film is the unfortunate choice of a non-linear narrative that went back and forth one time too many. Maria Heiskanen from Maria Larsson's Everlasting Moments (2008) provides the narrative voice as a policewoman tryin to piece together the chillin aftermath of what was supposed to be a grippin fable, only that her role contributes little towards the mystery. On the whole, I'd have liked several distractin elements omitted in favour of a tighter, more conventional coming-of-age caper.

Perennial wonderment:

I'd like to know for certain if I read too much into the prominent depiction of traditionally Satan-affiliated creatures in the film - goats, maggots, ravens to name a few.

Reminds me of:

A little bit of Womb (2010) with all these closeups of sex and nature. The night previous I was also watchin a movie about terrible secrets - Beautiful Kate (2009).

I can't remember if I cried:

When I forgot that the Scotiabank Theatre doesn't do discount parkin on weekend nights and I ended up payin a score. That's more than the bleedin movie ticket!

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I think perhaps it tried a little too hard but I won't begrudge it. I love the music score as well. Definitely diggin up Johnsen's previous works Kissed By Winter (2005) and Upperdog (2009), so here's hopin for more fun and FUBAR material from her in the near future. For a more polished and substantial review, check out ioncinema.com's Nicholas Bell. Here's to hopin this will score a distributor soon and you lot will be able to find it on a DVD shelf between The Cement Garden (1993) and Dumplings (2004), if not at the cinemas proper.★★★
Bonus material:

L-R: Director & scribe Sara Johnsen,
actor Kristoffer Joner & cinematographer John Andreas Andersen.
Toronto International Film Festival 2012.
Photo credit: Norwegian Film Institute

Sara Johnsen & John Andreas Andersen build an embarrassment of rich visuals.

Cold Prey 3 (2010) @ Fritt Vilt III

At a glance:

Not to risk further disbelief by resurrectin the killer a second time, Cold Prey 3 @ Fritt Vilt III is a prequel to movies one and two, naturally an origins movie. We switch directors again with Mikkel Brænne Sandemose but the biggest difference is that franchise staple Ingrid Bolsø Berdal does not return. Instead we get a new set of teens and they go about tryin to survive the monster they discovered. I should imagine we do a similarly crappy job in survivin the movie, as they do, the monster.

Bad news on the doorstep:

After only a token introduction to the birthmarked butcher in the first two movies, somethin more intimate is required for a third movie. Sadly we are not given much more than yet another token backstory on the antagonist; effectively a concession on the filmmakers part that we've come to the end of the road in this icy charade. Also, this latest bunch of people are the most beautiful yet - but they're just as clichéd and pedestrian as the original skiers in the first movie. The movie even feels lethargic in some parts.

Perennial wonderment:

How any third movie always gets the most flak.This one's got 'last paycheque' written all over it.

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A few chillin moments but ultimately a letdown. Forget it and go watch Troll Hunter (2010) instead.★★
Bonus material:

"I can't believe you're interestin enough to make three movies about."

Cold Prey (2008) @ Fritt Vilt II

"I'm here to shoot all blondes scream queens."

Ingrid lookin like hot prey at the Amanda Awards
where she took Best Actress for this role.
That's the Norwegian Oscars, you philistine.

At a glance:

Easily the strongest in the successful Norwegian horror trilogy, Cold Prey 2 @ Fritt Vilt II trumps the 2006 original in every turn, providin more sympathetic characters and marginally more original scares. In a sequel approach similar to Halloween II (1981), we pick up the hypothermia right where we left off, followin Jannicke (returnin Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) to a local hospital after she has been rescued. Debutin helmer Mats Stenberg replaces director Roar Uthaug and is found stretchin with an iffy resurrection plot, but perhaps his vision (and no doubt, improved budget) is to be credited for makin those shadowy hospital corridors an interestin enough place to be taken to this time.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Marthe Snorresdotter Rovik

Funny this had a theatrical release in Malaysia in 2009 under the now-dormant Cathay-Keris distribution arm, when no Malaysian ever saw the original in the cinemas. However, as Syahida Kamarudin points out, you don't need prior knowledge of the birthmarked butcher to enjoy this one on its own, although she rues the cinema experience in that notoriously scissor-happy territory. Ostensibly a feminist reviewer, the writer notes that Ingrid Bolsø Berdal is not your typical Hollywood hot babe in distress and is believably great to watch. However, myself now with the privilege of havin seen the original, expected more from Ingrid. Due to the immediacy of the continuin events, a more compellin character arc wasn't possible, so we don't get to see more development from her character, despite admittedly bein even more badass with her weopon of choice, the pickaxe. Come to think of it, if both Part I and II were viewed back-to-back, it would've made a resoundingly satisfyin watch.
Perennial wonderment:
Where is Marthe Snorresdotter Rovik now, the actress who played the cute doctor?

Reminds me of:

The time I was trapped in an industrial-sized refrigerator. I ate all the ice-cream while I was in there.

"Bollocks. Why can't you clean his rectum for a change?"

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Three stars is possible if you watched this in a big cinema with lots of excitable women.
Bonus material:

"They're not goin to bring him back to life AGAIN in Part III, are they?"

Cold Prey (2006) @ Fritt Vilt

Ingrid Bolsø Berdal plays Jannicke, a holidaymakin snowboarder turned badass ball-breaker.

At a glance:

In conjunction with the release of Oren Peli's Chernobyl Diaries (2012) in which features Fritt Vitt lead Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, let's revisit this successful Norwegian flick that proved enough to form the basis of a survivor horror trilogy. The official website is still up today! The story? Same old genre retread built around a bunch of attractive young people trapped in an abandoned hotel in the snowy mountains with an unknown killer on the loose.

Ingrid lookin like hot prey at the Amanda Awards
where she took Best Actress for this role.
That's the Norwegian Oscars, you philistine.

Bad news on the doorstep:

We've seen it all before. If you're a horror movie fan that has been numbed by the Hills Have Eyes series, the Halloween series, the Scream series, the I Know What You Did Last Summer series, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, the Wrong Turn series - then jog on because it's painfully predictable, with a slow buildup to boot. This movie got the attention it did perhaps only because it was a Norwegian product that was actually so similar to American slashers in that mould (read: that it was technically on par with them). There isn't much locational detail either, somethin that would've added curio value to it. Even the soundtrack, which was admittedly pretty decent, was in English.

Perennial wonderment:

Will we ever see better ice-set horror movies than The Thing (1982) and The Shining (1980)? Please drop me a comment for recommended viewin. Hmm that reminds me, I still ain't watched my copy of Bikini Girls On Ice (2009).

"Fuck me, there goes my new nails."

Reminds me of:

See long list above. By the way, the region is called Jotunheimen and that makes me think of a painted pussy.

Most memorable line:

None.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Committed performance by the cast but unfortunately nothin terribly compellin here. Watch the sequel - it bears the rare cinematic distinction of bein actually better than the first movie. Must be a Norwegian thing - it sure never happens in Hollywood.

Bonus material:

Director & scribe Roar Uthaug empowers Ingrid Bolsø Berdal.

Troll Hunter (2010) @ Trolljegeren

At a glance:

Not quite your run-of-the-studio adaptation of Three Billy Goats Gruff, Troll Hunter (native: Trolljegeren) is filmmaker André Øvredal’s idea of punctuatin Norwegian folklore with Blair Witch Project box office sensibilities to deliver a winsome monster movie that doubles as a “found footage” moc-doc masterpiece deservin of all the distribution attention it gets.We follow three Volga college teens who are shooting an assignment - host Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), female sound recordist Johanna (Johanna Morck) and scaredy-cat cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen, mostly offscreen but given a memorable character arc) as they happen to land themselves the chance of a lifetime - filmin a supposed bear poacher (Otto Jespersen) who turns out to be a modern day Van Helsing-type reluctant hero who spends his days annihilatin trolls that are being kept secret by the government.
Bad news on the doorstep:
It's not very classically dramatic and you don't get silly romantic subplots or heroic climaxes, if that's your idea of a good monster movie.

Perennial wonderment:

Why can't they come up with somethin new in the monster movies genre like how this film has done? The great thing about Troll Hunter is what a delightfully technical horror movie it is. Adequately underpinned by a biological context on how these trolls can exist and subsist, its persuasive style is further helped by some useful dry Scandinavian horror (“Hey what about Muslims? Can they sniff out Muslim blood just like Christian blood? I don’t know, let’s find out") and keeps us glued in-universe throughout. The suspenseful narrative here never takes a backseat and the CGI decisions cleverly avoids overdoin things to the point of losin the audience. The monsters (they come in different subspecies even) are woolly creations that start getting iffy in scenes where they appear in their entirety – but fortunately the backstory and also the traditional FX work (boiled fur soup resin, used for applyin troll scent) is diligent and solid.

Reminds me of:

Cloverfield (2008), Blair Witch Project (1999), The Mist (2007) and [REC] (2007).

Most memorable line:

"Do you think Michael Moore gave up after the first try?"

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The day this film opened in the U.S. a horror movie website announced that American director Chris Columbus and his company 1492, along with CJ Entertainment & Media, had acquired remake rights. Watch this now in its native Norwegian (or English-dubbed, in some territories) before Hollywood messes it up.