Mama (2013)

The chameleonic Jessica Chastain. Almost as hot as Gemma Arterton, I'd say.

The Modigliani behind Mama?

At a glance:

It's only by pure happenstance and not my licentious fascination with Jessica Chastain since The Help (2011) that the first two movies I've paid to watch in cinemas this year both star her - Kathryn Bigelow's laborious Zero Dark Thirty (2013) and the del Toro-championed Mama (2013). Yes, I didn't care for the overlong, over-informative trailer (why are they like this nowadays!) but was in the mood for somethin that will do what it says on the tin. Muschietti siblings Andrés and Barbara return to expand on their 2008 short film of the same name (unless you count the accent in Mamá), the spooky three-minute success that got this picture made. The final product is this polished Spanish-Canadian effort - one of the better mainstream supernatural horror movies on wide release in recent memory. It's about two sisters who are rescued from a life of cherry-chompin in the woods by their uncle but a malevolent spirit follows them home. You get a little 19th century backstory thrown in. Strange to find Chastain in the lightweights here. Might've been a moodier, less distractin picture if it were a more obscure actress playin her part as the sympathetic rocker chick aunt figure, innit?

Bad news on the doorstep:

While the strength here is definitely the teasin delay in finally seein the offendin titular mother, I'm still not a fan of these digitalised spooks. However we ought to judge the player based on where he plays. For a movie with so much important CG, it is great CG; and even the protracted and over-exposed CG finale does not undo the tense, solid plottin throughout. That's what you call a sold audience.

Everyone overreacts to moths in horror movies. Why?

Perennial wonderment:

Could've done without the overused contorted human crawl, though. How many times do we have to see that spider shyte? Bleugh. By the way, Mama over-performed in its openin weekend and in just three days earned more than producer Guillermo del Toro's last movie Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark in its entire run. Poor Arnie died takin his last stand, you can read. Box Office Mojo reported: "Aside from the advantages inherent to the supernatural horror genre, Mama also benefited from a strong marketing effort and a PG-13 rating that managed to attract younger females in strong numbers: Mama's audience was 61% female and 63% under the age of 25. They awarded it a 'B-' CinemaScore, which is slightly above-average for a horror movie."

Most memorable line:

www.sadmoviequotes.tumblr.com

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Watch out for:
Megan Charpentier and Isabelle Nélisse as the impoverished, feral sisters. Well coached and well done. The male lead, Danish 'Aragorn' Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, has left his biggest callin card for Hollywood, I hope, with his largest part to date. Maybe he'll get to play a romantic lead in a Hollywood rom-com some day? Saw him most recently in the superb Norwegian crime-caper Headhunters (2011).

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Nothin terribly original here but the production design of the ghoul is effective and its measured narrative enable us to enjoy the old school jumps instead of deridin them. Apparently in a video interview, the Muschiettis revealed that the eventual Mama Blu-ray could have up to 40 minutes of deleted scenes. I'd like to see that; and judgin from the box office collections and the way the movie ends, will wait for a sequel.★★★1/2
Bonus material:

Broken Embraces (2009) @ Los Abrazos Rotos

At a glance:

In Abrazos Rotos, blind Spanish scribe Mateo Blanco (Lluís Homar, older priest in La Mala Educación 2004) starts referrin to himself as Harry Caine after a tragic accident 14 years ago that changed his life forever. Through flashbacks, we learn that he wasn’t always blind, and that he was once in love with a beautifully arrestin woman he turned into an actress - Lena (Penélope Cruz) – but she was unfortunately involved with a powerful but jealous man named Ernesto Martel (José Luis Gómez).
Bad news on the doorstep:
Pedro Almodóvar's oeuvre reads like a catalogue of must-watch movies for any fan of modern European cinema, however it’s not surprisin that many critics who admire the Spanish maestro are now the same people who feel that he has not reinvented himself or offered anything refreshin in recent years. Los Abrazos Rotos is fuel to this fire of discontent. It’s surprising how Almodovar films still continue to warrant maximum attention (this one was in contention for the Palme d’Or at Cannes) when he once again cast his regulars (Penélope Cruz, Ángela Molina and Lola Dueñas among others) in yet another decidedly dark, rich, contextual drama with plenty of repressed emotions and various other unsavoury aspects of adult life related to damaged youth. Obviously it’s what he’s comfortable doin (and doin well at) but watchin an Almodovar film can turn into an exercise in tedium if this is all we’re gonna get.
Perennial wonderment:
It's a mazy exploration with themes of guilt, abandonment, envy and foiled ambition; and for once, the awkward English title Broken Embraces does mean somethin. However, while the movie largely works as a feature film, it is beset on all sides by a self-referential production that begs the question – are Almodóvar films really that great?

Reminds me of:

Volver (2006) and Talk To Her (2002).

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The movie seems to ride off his magnificent presence and is held together by his powerful obsession with the technically gorgeous. There is rich detail and colour in every frame and the picture is backed by a suitably sombre music as well. As Cat Power’s Werewolf plays to underscore a scene about a doomed relationship (same song for Jessica Biel’s waxy strip sequence in Powder Blue, 2009), we can attest to Almodóvar’s absorbin brilliance in packagin his cast around neat little tales with wonderful layers. It’s just that a man so technically accomplished may need to do more than just being prolific and adequate if he were to really live up to what people expect from him as Spain’s best regarded filmmaker since Luis Buñuel.

Diary Of A Sex Addict (2008) @ Diario De Una Ninfómana

At a glance:

Belén Fabra

Adapted from a sexy Euro chicklit book, Diario De Una Ninfómana (2008) is a 95-min story about a French lass who was fuckin any hard cock in Spain before fuckin an Italian/French cock who was to be her future boss. Havin been dumped too many times by too many fuck buddies, she falls in love and marries the cunt while he in turn abuses her to the brink of suicide. She responds by joinin a brothel. Is this a joke movie or what?
Bad news on the doorstep:
All the wrong ways of doin erotica is exhibited in this well-shot but totally misconceived piece. Contrived, self-important borgeouis bullshit. The 'redemption' music at the end is hilarious. This bit about a wheelchair-bound whoremonger is ridiculous and forced. Titless Belén Fabra (pic) who plays the nympho protagonist ain't even that hot to begin with.
Perennial wonderment:
How shitass films like these get greenlighted.
Reminds me of:

I give, you take.

Reckless cockass crapass bitchass nympho bitches I know who never admit they like sex as much as they do. Ironically, the stupidity of the main character's monologues help compound this fact, leadin me to the conclusion that girls genuinely really don't have the foggiest about how stupid they sound when they come up with these lines about how sex isn't everythin. Balls.
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Mediocre ★★ for the effort. Wanna watch a really genuine and decent movie about sex addiction? Try I Am A Sex Addict (2005) instead.

Bonus material:

Women who only have themselves to blame.

Abre Los Ojos (1997) @ Open Your Eyes

At a glance:
Spanish original of that Hollywood remake you'd know as Vanilla Sky, starrin Tom Cruise. Apparently the cunt was on his cellular by the end credits of this film to enquire about the rights. It's an above average thriller about virtual reality and alternate timelines (or maybe not!) directed by Alejandro Amenábar, the fella who directed Tesis and went on to direct Nicole Kidman in The Others after this movie.
Perennial wonderment:
Penélope Cruz. How can someone so annoyin and whiny actually be talented - remember that coke fest Blow with Johnny Depp? Really hate that voice but after watchin movies like Don't Move opposite Sergio Castellitto, I guess we have to accept the bitch has really got it.
Reminds me of:
The Science Of Sleep - a much classier movie than this - but you get to see a tit or two in this one, includin those tiny Cruz grapefruits.
Watch out for:
Najwa Nimri, the multi-talented Spanish beauty with the consistent CFM face. This is where I first saw her before Lovers Of The Arctic Circle and Sex And Lucia.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Three and a half. I'm so lucky to have seen this before the Cruise remake, thanks Lorena for the heads up so many years ago.