Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Slave (2009)

in-car blowjob ramadhan festival GANAS
"Bareback in the hatchback, Sam?"
At a glance:
There's no good reason nor real chance that you'll come across this regrettable British bore bonanza, unless you were lookin to see more of Natassia Malthe's CV. I watched Slave (2009) on the strength of just that.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Star of the upcomin Malaysian epic Vikingdom (2012) by KRU Films, I got myself on this movie because I've never actually seen much of the D.O.A. Dead Or Alive (2006) and BloodRayne beauty. I just know she's got some exotic looks (pic) and appears quite often as a sex object in B-grade horrors. The movie, as it turns out, is a badly-edited, poorly-scripted crime flick, directed by the fella behind the despicable football flick Goal! The Dream Begins (2005). We're talkin about a contrived plot that involves a confused Russian pimp who pretends to be a Moslem Arab pimp bent on lecturin his victims on the holiness of Ramadhan while gettin blowjobs from skinny drugged birds on a yacht. There are other painfully predictable characters - mostly fat English expat gangsters in Spain with colourful ugly shirts.
Perennial wonderment:
How can anyone say anythin about Natassia Malthe bein Malaysian when all she's ever had to do with Malaysia (prior to Vikingdom) was a six-hour stopover to shoot a shampoo ad. Her mum was from Kota Kinabalu and that's it. She's Norwegian!
Reminds me of:
Sexy Beast (2000) but that was a good movie.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Wotta bore, unless you could just fast forward to the exploitation bits. Jog on.
nice fuck panties MALTHE VIKINGDOM
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:
"Did you just make fun of my bald spot?! Did you?!"
Mi tetas es su tetas...
"That wisdom tooth is preventin anyone from ticklin her tonsil..."