Sayang Wayang: Neal McDonough

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li (2009)

Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li vs Josie Ho as Cantana... in the toilet.

At a glance:

Black Eyes Peas' Taboo as Vega

Smallville's small Kristin Kreuk (in blue, pic) jarringly stars as ladder-legged Oriental martial artist Chun-Li in one of the worst console-to-cinema projects ever, in terms of bastardisin source material. They call it Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li (2009).
Bad news on the doorstep:
It's fuckin horrible, yapyapyapyapyap. No press previews in America - they knew it sucked. Very convoluted useless plot built around titular heroine, so-so SFX, bad lines by underdeveloped characters and poor character decisions. The 1994 Van Damme version with Kylie Minogue as Tammy is better. Heck even Wong Jing's 1993 HK party piece with Andy Lau as Balrog and Jacky Cheung as Guile is better.
I can't remember if I cried:
When Vega (played by the freaky guy from Black Eyed Peas), one of the most agile and notorious characters in the game, died like a fly after a short token buildup. Bleugh.
Watch out for:

Somehow, all my sexy Moon Bloodgood pix went missing.

Robin Shou, who played Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat (1995). He plays Gen, a sifu who teaches Kreuk how to master her Qigong Palm super move while pretendin not to be starin at her crotch when she does them high kicks. Chun-Li does oblige with the Spinnin Bird Kick near the end. Also, there are many small roles for notable actors like Michael Duncan Clarke, Neal McDonough and wuxia veterean Cheng Pei-Pei. What a waste.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Let's put it down for ★1/2 - the bonus half is for Moon Bloodgood givin half ball. She plays a Thai cop who runs around the police department in sexy outfits. Read she's in the upcomin Terminator Salvation. Hope she gets more exposure in more than just one way.
Bonus material:
I have hundreds of hi-res production stills for you. Take a look at them and skip the movie!