Byzantium (2012)

This see-through, blood-red, tight top with a text motif that reads "SUCK"
looked really good on Gemma Arterton. Need to find out where to buy one.

At a glance:

While everyone else was busy with the last Twilight instalment, I was thankfully spared that duty this time and found myself at a different kind of vampire movie - West End Films / Neil Jordan's Byzantium (2012). It premiered at TIFF 2012 and was presented by producer Nik Powell at the European Union Film Festival 2012 in Toronto which I attended. The title refers to a disused guesthouse somewhere on England's coasts, where two quibblin young women (Gemma Arterton, Saoirse Ronan), whose relation to each other is unclear, find refuge in the charity of a weak man (Daniel Mays).

Saoirse Ronan. One day I'll be able to say your name right.

Bad news on the doorstep:

There's a reason why this movie didn't warm up to distributors easily, although you can read from Mike Fleming a while ago that it did secure a seven-figure deal at TIFF from IFC, that "the deal coming together is several million dollars in minimum guarantee and marketing commitment... this film has designs on a theatrical release broadening out to several hundred screens." Less commercial than the Irish filmmaker's Brad Pitt starrer Interview With The Vampire (1994), the general consensus I gathered is that while the movie is sober as it is serious, Byzantium, with its underwhelmin poster and all, doesn't project the sort of storytellin energy or tragic vampire pedigree that anyone goin for it would expect. The back-and-forth narrative between centuries don't work as smoothly and ultimately you feel the movie doesn't really know what it is, oscillatin between offbeat, artsy supernatural thriller and intense, mainstream horror-slasher. It's a tad talky at all the wrong times, as well. There are too many distractin elements bein brought to the table. Perhaps it has to pay deference to Moira Buffini’s A Vampire Story - the theatre play from which it's adapted.

Gemma Arterton obliges paparazzi on set.

Perennial wonderment:

Glad to know that the feral, full-figured Gemma Arterton isn't about to cover up, despite havin made it big time. She gets the big studio roles like Prince Of Persia (2010) and Quantum Of Solace (2008), yet she still bares all for indies like The Disappearance Of Alice Creed (2009) and Tamara Drewe (2010). In Byzantium, you'll get plenty of her distractin busom, not to mention frequent out-of-focus shots on her nipples even. As for the mysterious Irish talent Saoirse Ronan, her lovely bones are maturin nicely.

Reminds me of:

Night At The Golden Eagle (2001) meets Let The Right One In (2008), set somewhere near Brighton Rock (2010).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Uneven but nevertheless entertainin when goin into spurts and splatters. There's no crucifixes, garlic or fangs in this; and certainly no sparkly speed demons on piggyback either, but you will get several old-school vampire conventions. Best enjoyed without havin read the review. Ha.★★1/2
Bonus material:

Sam Riley seems to have returned to Brighton Rock in a similar guise.

Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton at some TIFF 2012 party.

Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Will Woody Harrelson ever play a sweet, charming, leading man?

Leggy Olga Kurylenko at the TIFF 2011 premiere.

At a glance:

You will finish writin a screenplay if your screenplay is about the difficulty in writin a screenplay. That's the almost meta-movie that came out of Martin McDonagh's mind (In Bruges, 2008) - a bizarre Tarantinoesque tale generously dipped in dark humour, ostensibly less fun than the recent Killer Joe (2012) but more heart than say, Rubber (2010) or Hit And Run (2012). It's the kind of movie you're dyin to like as soon as you see the poster or watch the trailer. Hymen-thin plottin revolves around three central characters - alcoholic scriptwriter Marty (Colin Farrell), his maligned friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) and an peculiar old guy named Hans (Christopher Walken). The latter two run a small time dognapping syndicate and cowboy mobster Charlie (Woody Harrelson) just happens to have a missin shih tzu. Part of the joy of such a movie is watchin the characters enter, so I'll spare you the mazy ensemble minutiae.

Bad news on the doorstep:

One of many memes on the official Seven Psychopaths Facebook page.

All the scenes cut a pretty picture and if viewed on their own separately, look as if they're from the next Pulp Fiction (1994). Variety's Peter Debruge argues that ironically enough, the McDonagh's "apparent lack of any attempt to make a grand artistic statement could easily make this outing his most accessible project to date". It's definitely easy on the eyes with such a handsome cast - I'm one of those who'd pay good money just to see Christopher Walken walk a dog. However, while this juicy project is not short of energy or violence, its charm pivots on your empathy with the characters; and this is purposefully manipulated to reward and frustrate your expectations at every turn. That is to say, the movie wrote itself to the finishin line, to hell with the audience. 
Perennial wonderment:
Talk about gettin even. Never cared for Colin Farrell but here's somethin interestin for you - apparently Mickey Rourke dropped out of this because he had a problem with the director and Woody Harrelson took his role. In the movie, there's a tombstone with Rourke's name on it. Recently, it was reported that Rourke tweeted about how we shouldn't watch the movie because it's unwatchable and a waste of time. Ha!

Reminds me of:

You know how Machete (2010) was the unlikely end product of a fake Tarantino trailer that was picked up on? I got a feelin one of the stories in the caper could do with one of those. It's the one about a Vietnamese priest.

Harry Dean Stanton

I can't remember if I cried:

When Olga Kurylenko appeared for just the duration of which it takes you to say her name. Cheated! In fact, Kurylenko, Abbie Cornish and Gabourey Sidibe probably had just 10 minutes screen time between them.

Most memorable line:

Next to an inspired five minutes of  Sam Rockwell catharsis near the end, the Gandhi joke in the trailer is the best moment of the movie for me. In fact, it's that tone of humour that permeates throughout the movie.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

It's strange that my wife enjoyed it more than me. I guess I wanted it to be a new spin on The Usual Suspects (1995) or somethin like that. Seven Psychopaths (2012) begs you to go crazy with it but I reckon only half of are willin and a further half of that are able.★★1/2
Bonus material:

You know what the annoying thing is?
Not all seven of the actors are the so-called psychopaths! Sheesh.