Chloe (2010)

"What kind of pressure, for how long, when to stop. I can become your first kiss... or a torn out image from a Playboy magazine that you found when you were 9 years old."

At a glance:
A revisit of French erotic thriller Nathalie...(2003) with European cinema greats Emmanuelle Beart as the irresistible whore while Fanny Ardant and Gerard Depardieu play the embattled married couple, Chloe (2010) is a low-intensity Hollywood addition that will benefit from its array of A-listers and the intrigue of its decorated director Atom Egoyan (who has been shooting dark dramas since Sweet Hereafter in 1997) but ultimately falters because it cannot replicate the controlled explosiveness and the European sophistication in the original, leadin us to question its character arcs. Just like the Anne Fontaine source flick, we have a woman (Julianne Moore) who suspects her husband (Liam Neeson) of cheating, so she hires a mysterious escort (Amanda Seyfried in the titular role) to seduce him and report on her findings. It’s a twist-based plot, so we’ll spare you of further details but its safe to disclose that it’s a sexual deceit thing, the stuff that erotic thrillers are made of.

"Some men hate to hear certain terms. They can't stand specific moves and then they can't live without others. It's part of my job to know where to place my hand, my lips, my tongue, my leg and even my thoughts."

Liam Neeson taken.

Bad news on the doorstep:

A cinematic letdown despite the cast actually havin done their earnest best. We know Julianne Moore does “angry but fragile woman” effortlessly well. We know they wrote Liam Neeson out of some scenes when he left the set to attend to his dyin wife during the shoot but he returned in time despite the odds. We know that Amanda Seyfried does have the charisma to pull off an antagonist who needs to command great screen presence. However, this screenplay by Erin Cressida Wilson (Secretary 2002, Fur: An Imaginary Portrait Of Diane Arbus 2006) lacks the power and the polish to engage, leavin audiences little to look forward to, other than a particularly frontal encounter between the two lead women.

Perennial wonderment:

"I guess I've always been pretty good with words.
In my line of business. It's as important to be able to
describe what I'm doing as it is to do what I'm doing.
When to say what. What words to select."

Isn't Julianne Moore more desirable than Amanda Seyfried? She even made incest look hot in Savage Grace (2007). Gets my vote.

Reminds me of:

Derailed (2005) and of course The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Look away now if you don’t want to read a spoiler - Anne Fontaine (writer and director of the 2003 original) reportedly said she was interested in this take because Ardant and Beart objected to Fontaine's original intention for a lesbian relationship to develop between their characters. Well folks, Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried sure obliged! Anyway, let Chloe be a good movie to get you started on finding out more about the French original.★★★

Bonus material:

Tipping the velvet...

The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee (2009)

"Yo. Sup."

At a glance:

How many movies do you know of which the author of the book is also the director? Just like the crème brûlee she heats up so effortlessly with a butane torch in the movie, titular heroine Pippa Lee (played by a faultless but helpless Robin Wright Penn) is sweet but burnt all the same by a source material that is either too quirky and personal for commercial big screen interests or plain unlikeable, despite havin an embarrassment of stars to drive it. This drama ain't even secured distribution stateside and instead got itself washed up on Malaysian shores first! Helmer Rebecca Miller (Ballad Of Jack And Rose) has said in interviews how the recession has caused box office players to be wary of quirky dramas - but is the movie so hard to sell or is the story too hard to buy?
Bad news on the doorstep:

Rebecca Miller

Faultless yet hopeless:
Robin Wright Penn

Beautiful Robin Wright Penn may still have that sex factor since her Jenny Curran last placed a moron's hands on her tits in Forrest Gump (1994) but here she's asked to play a character so schizophrenic and uneaxamined that it turns fatal to the flick. She's a fiftysomethin housewife movin into a retiree community with her much older, ailin, publisher husband (a wonderful Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine) who once had a psycho ex-wife played by Monica Bellucci. Flashes from her past inform us that she was a troubled 16-year-old emo goth (impressive turn by Gossip Girl Blake Lively) who had colourful family in a speed-addicted mum (Mario Bello), a lesbian aunt (Robin Weigert, TV's Deadwood) and her wild lover (Julianne Moore). There's also room for Wynona Ryder as a cry-baby of a young wife. Crowded lineup, I feel.
Reminds me of:
Bell-ringers. Sheffield knows why.
Watch out for:
Keanu Reeves as a sensitive but odd Christian with a giant Jesus tattoo on his chest. Hey, some people like to mutilate their bodies with Jesus and big crosses, while others like inkin themselves over five hours with the image of monkey gods, innit Bangkok Bob? That me best mate, who did a Hanuman in Thailand. Can't imagine anyone makin love to someone with such a visually intrusive tattoo.

Monica Bellucci

Most memorable line:
"Writers are vampires. I'm waiting for the right girl to come along and make me a human being."
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
This R rated movie has peculiar pacin, uneven dialogue and also a messy visual style. More importantly, it doesn't cut it as a mainstream crowd-pleaser or a critically-directed arthouse piece either. How did they manage to get such a heavy duty ensemble to lend their names to this project? Even if somethin bizarre about this film turns it into a sleeper hit on DVD, this reviewer insists that Pippa Lee's lives, whatever the fuck they're about, are best kept private. ★★
Bonus material:
I have about 200 sexy hi-res photos below for you to enjoy. Lookin at them just makes me more depressed, knowin how beautifully it was shot.

Blake Lively and Alan Arkin get it on. I'm so jealous.

The Hand The Rocks The Cradle (1992)

Rebecca De Mornay suckles in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992).

At a glance:

Irresistibly Rebecca De Mornay

One of the most memorable and endurin Hollywood thrillers from those times, like Misery - except the psychobitch villain isn't a plus-sized Kathy Bates but a hot and lactatin Rebecca De Mornay (pic) who shot to international fame with this movie about a twisted nanny named Peyton who snakes herself into a family and their home to destroy them. It's definitely one of the best of all the movies with this theme of an ill-intentioned stranger who is welcomed into a home. Very suspenseful stuff.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Ain't seen this Rebecca De Mornay since. She still seems to be active but she doesn't get big roles.
Reminds me of:
Well it doesn't remind me of anythin but it sure made me fuckin anal paranoid about anyone whom you allow into your home.
Watch out for:
The satisfyin return of an unlikely hero to save the day. Also, this movie gave Julianne Moore one of her earliest roles.
Most memorable line:
Peyton Flanders: When your husband makes love to you, it's MY face he sees. When your baby's hungry, it's MY breast that feeds him. Look at you! When push comes to shove, you can't even breathe!
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Simple but effective.★★★★
Trailer for the curious: