Man On A Ledge (2012)

"Hi. I'm Genesis Rodriguez. This movie is so rubbish, they're gonna market it by findin a suitable scene to display by pinkest bits to you."

At a glance:

Self-explanatory heist thriller that unconvincingly stretches its four-word premise into 102 minutes of celluloid, written by the ghostwriter behind O.J. Simpson's book. Sam Worthington is the uncomfortable male lead, playin the titular role with a really lousy accent.

Bad news on the doorstep:

You might wanna jump off that ledge havin sat through the movie. Dodgy character arcs, weak dialogue, uninspired miscast actors and a story riddled with preposterous plot-holes left, right, centre. The romantic subplot between Jamie Bell (Adventures Of Tintin, 2011) and Genesis Rodriguez (TV's Entourage) is annoyingly unhelpful and in the case of the latter, particularly distractin to the proceedings, as she prances about with the best angle of her cleavage in full view all the time. Anthony Mackie and Edward Burns are in the wrong movie. The movie starts collapsin as soon as the premise is set and surprisingly makes no apologies endin on an over-simplistic note, devoid of credible resolution and even token emotional payoff. Lazy storytellin!

"Shit. Looks like a parking ticket."

Perennial wonderment:

How come Sam Worthlesston continues to be in big movies, one after another. He's very uneventful and doesn't have the charisma to do strong and silent like say, Jason Statham. The Aussie plays the same stoic fuck in every movie - Clash Of The Titans (2010), Avatar (2009) and Terminator Salvation (2009. The only time I saw him do slightly better was in Texas Killing Fields (2011) - a horrible mess of a movie, and an Australian movie called Somersault (2004).

Reminds me of:

Phone Booth (2002) and The Negotiator (1998) but those were good movies.

I can't remember if I cried:

When Ed Harris appears. He plays an unscrupulous businessman in the movie but really looks haggard. He actually looks worse than he did in character as a patient dyin from AIDS in The Hours (2002).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Two stars, one each for Genesis Rodriguez' breasts - the most memorable aspect of this completely unnecessary movie. Avoid.

Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:
Jamie Bell and Genesis Rodriguez bein interviewed. How insubstantial can these two get?

Gamer (2009)

Amber Valetta and Gerard Butler.

At a glance:
Death Race meets Gladiator with hints of Run Lola Run fun, as Gerard Butler bulldozes and bamboozles us through more than two hours of explosions and dirty debris in a story about societal breakdown via technological advancement. Set in a not-too-distant future where people can control other people on a empire-like gamin environment, we follow how unwillin action hero John Tillman is a death row inmate given a shot at escape by winnin an live action online game called Slayers in which he is known as Kabel. However, other forces like evil media mogul and gamemaster Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall), ratings-obsessed talk show host Gina Parker Smith (Kyra Sedgwick) and a rebel group leader (Ludacris) come into play to force a clashin of sorts.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Not even 300 more Gerard Butlers could save this movie from being a mildly amusin, below average shoot-em-up pinned down by fast visuals with low engagement.
Perennial wonderment:
If I could beat Gerard Butler in a game of House Of The Dead. I probably could.
Watch out for:
Highlight performance by TV's Dexter, Michael C. Hall, as the maniacal villain who did somethin screenworthy with his enourmous presence and a crazy musical sequence (I've Got You Under My Skin) reminiscent of Alex and A Clockwork Orange. Also, small roles for Milo Ventimiglia (Pathology), Alison Lohman (Drag Me To Hell) and John Leguizamo (Ice Age 3), not to mention a prominent paradin of freckled beauty Amber Valletta, who plays Tillman's wife in funky, plastic sex suits. She sure reminds us of Peta Wilson in TV's La Femme Nikita. Rap star Ludacris also lives up to his name by providin a completely unbelievable and cliched turn as a rebel leader.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Somewhere within Gamer is a good story but unfortunately the dour actioner just comes off as a PC game gone wrong and got projected onto a theatre screen instead. One recent film that critics like to compare it to is the 2007 actioner The Condemned, starrin wrestler Steve Austin and footballer Vinnie Jones. Critical reception to that movie was overwhelmingly negative and reviews for this one has been shapin up the same way. Oh well, at least we get a glimpse of Kyra Sedgwick on the big screen once every two years, eh? ★★