Mael Lambong (2012)

"Kau ni muka saja cantik tau. Kerana bala kau ni, habis aku punya rezeki!"

At a glance:

Little Miss "So White" Juliana Evans

Ostensibly enjoyin independence from the MIG regime for some time now, director Ahmad Idham's Excellent Pictures has a straight-forward shot in tryin to emulate the RM 8.53 million Malaysian box office success (accordin to the FINAS jokers) that is Hantu Bonceng (2011), its best foot forward to date. The repeat bet is top funnyman Zizan Razak's pairin with the beautiful little miss "So White", Juliana Evans. Story is an expansion from a character Zizan did on TV's Maharaja Lawak. The titular Mael Lambong (or his less illustrious birth name Ismail bin Haji Embung) is a self-aggrandisin, seasoned car repo man who chances upon the mysterious Maria (Evans) durin one of his many RO sheet-servin exploits. Somehow his car driftin skills bring him back to his Terengganu hometown where he's forced to confront the ignominy of his almost-bride Rozie (newcomer Shenthy Feliziana), now betrothed to the ridiculous village brute Abang Tiger (Taiyudin Bakar, who used to go by Sallehuddin Abu Bakar in a memorable non-pro appearance back in Azharr Rudin's This Longing a.k.a. Punggok Rindukan Bulan, 2008). Shot around Kemaman in Terengganu, the set is boosted by the East Coast backdrop and makes good use of cultural add-ons like a native dance at the beach. Check out the official Facebook fan page for more info.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Shenthy Feliziana

Startin on a very strong note with plenty of action scenes punctuated by trademark Zizan lines, Mael Lambong surprisingly fizzles out midway and breaks down into the kind of farcical tedium we saw in Kapoww!! (2010). The smaller roles (Shuib Sepah, Sabree Yunus, Azwan Annuar) help little while both female leads (Evans and Shenthy Feliziana) are terribly pedestrian despite bein onscreen opposites. Meanin, you couldda put Lisa Surihani in a double role there and she'll just pout herself through
(à la Kirsten Stewart) to the finish, no problemo. The sound mix is excessively varied, too.

"Kereta memang laju, tapi bayaran bulanan yang
tak berapa nak laju tu, pasal apa?"

Perennial wonderment:

Juliana Evans or Diana Danielle? The former is two years younger and seems to be turnin "whiter" as she ages, as if to live up to her name. This is her most prominent feature role since her debut in Kami The Movie (2008). Definitely one of the few Malaysian talents with actual talent, although yet to establish her forte, havin grown up doin everythin from TV hostin to bit-part emcee work.

I can't remember if I cried:

The special effects department need to buck up because that plaster-like scar on Zizan's face is piss poor. Even the youngest upstart reviewers can single out this scar to be unfortunate distraction.

Most memorable line:

"I can get you in. No cover charge."

The funniest moment in the whole film for me was hearin Zizan's on-the-fly syok sendiri lyrics to Santana and The Product G&B's 2000 hit Maria, Maria. However, the most important scene would probably be the sexually suggestive fight scene between Zizan and Evans.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Really should've just stuck to the repo man main story. Anyway, Mael Lambong's box office take will stop somewhere short of RM 6 million, I reckon. If you like the film enough, go bid for the red Toyota Soarer E MZ II that Zizan uses in the film. It's bein auctioned off with a RM 5,000 start! ★★1/2
Bonus material:

I wonder, you know. I really do.

Transporter 3 (2008)

At a glance:
Third instalment of the Frank Martin franchise, driven all the way by one-man-GPS Mr. Jason Statham and his armoured Audi A8 W12. Better than the second but not the first, I think. We see our British all-action hero drive across a few European cities with a bomb strapped to his wrist and a freckled chick who can't stop talkin about food. Classical, enjoyable no-brainer.
Bad news on the doorstep:
I think a lot of Americans had trouble understandin Jason Statham's accent and of course Natalya Rudakova's East European hissin. François Berléand as French cop Tarconi doesn't help either. Robert Knepper is actually a pretty convincin generic villain but his lines are a bit too contrived considerin the superficiality of the story. Movie makes sense to Europe more than the U.S. definitely.
Perennial wonderment:
If Jason Statham will ever get to make a British movie again, considerin the slew of Hollywood horseshit he's been doin like In The Name Of The King and Rogue Assassin and to a lesser extent, Death Race.
Reminds me of:
Quantum Of Solace, except I think this is more enjoyable. One thing is certain, Frank Martin movies are doin more for Audi than James Bond movies are for Austin Martin. Also, Rudakova is more memorable in this than Olga Kurylenko ever was in Quantum.
Watch out for:
Frank Martin suited and booted, ridin on a BMX and outpedallin a speedin Audi. Don't you just wish you could do it, too?
Most memorable line:
Valentina: I vant to feel ze sex one more time before I die.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Three solid stars for a movie that knows what it is.