Rabies (2010) @ Kalevet @ כלבת

At a glance:

This is the Jewish middle finger to all genre conventions if I've ever seen one. Written and directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado, Rabies (2010) @ Kalevet @ כלבת is a curveball curio (in the Hebrew language) that is touted as the first slasher flick to come from Israel, havin gained some notoriety in the festival circuit. Hell I'm not sure if I've ever even watched an Israeli movie, let alone an Israeli horror movie. I'll provide a functional synopsis - it's about a sister and her brother who have run away from home and are now lost in a fox reserve with an unidentified killer hot on their heels. The proceedings involve a forest ranger and his dog, two very unfocused cops and four beautiful youngsters in their outrageously preppy tennis gear. There's a bear trap or two and some unexploded mines, too.

Bad news on the doorstep:

As many reviews will point out, there's surprisingly nothin here about the titular affliction at all. No animal nor man froths at the mouth so don't be thinkin you'll get some "infected" zombie action. Actually, with so many red herrings in the film, it may well be a rather fittin title that cleverly refers to the feral, diseased and infectious nature of the events. Killin people is like, rabid-like, right? Anyway, back to the movie proper. Just when you think this is Israel's answer to the American B-grade horrors we've been used to, the movie veers into unexpected and rather detailed subplots, one after another. It's definitely a movie that will leave you disorientated and you'll have to decide if you like that sorta feelin. 

Perennial wonderment:
If you get to be in Israel for a week, what would you do?

Yael Grobglas doesn't get to be on the poster.

Reminds me of:
Certain angles of Yael Grobglas a.k.a. Yael Joelle Lise Grobglas reminds me of Asia Argento. Funny it's the other girl (busty Ania Bukstein) that gets to be on the movie poster, though. Another red herrin?

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Three stars? This is a movie that seasoned movie buffs and film critics will enjoy. Unexpected black humour, decent death scenes and sound performances all round (Lior Ashkenazi, Ania Bukstein, Danny Geva, Yael Grobglas, Ran Danker, Ofer Shecter and Efrat Boimold). Do stay for an extra scene after the end credits to find out what happens to the killer.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:
Here's the movie poster in its native Hebrew and below it is a photo taken from its Facebook fan page.

Now when's the last time you saw a movie poster in Hebrew, eh?

"Here in Korea, we're rabid with delight. Really."

The Other Man (2008)

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

At a glance:

Confusin and superfluous British-American project, starrin an embarrassment of stars and directed by Richard Eyre, the fella who did Notes On A Scandal (2006) and Iris (2001). It appears to be marketed as a drama about a man (Liam Neeson) who discovers that his wife (Laura Linney) has cheated on him with some Latin lover (Antonio Banderas) and proceeds to track him down despite desperate pleas from his daughter (Romola Garai) not to. Where o where did it all go wrong?

Bad news on the doorstep:

Firstly, this is a story that was simply too flimsy and unspectacular for a feature film, especially with such a decorated cast. Then there's the twist, which may or may not have been intended as a twist because the giveaway is all over its marketin literature e.g. DVD covers. The uneven direction and the jumpy, abrupt scenes lead us to believe that old Eyre here didn't really know what he wanted to achieve. It may have just suffered from an unrefined script that was intended to tell a much better story. Half-way through, you'd wish this would just turn into Taken 2 and Liam Neeson would just start kickin everybody's ass to spare us the tedium.

Perennial wonderment:

Liam Neeson has a long history of bein a troubled married man in his movies, eh. He was supposed to be a cheatin husband in Chloe (2009) and then a husband whose wife suddenly denies even knowin him in Unknown (2011). In Clash Of The Titans (2010) he played the naughty Zeus who fornicated with humans and most recently in The Grey (2012) his wife either died on him or left him. Sadly though, in real life, his wife Natasha Richardson was killed in a skiin accident in March 2009.

Reminds me of:

Anne Fontaine's Nathalie... (2003) starrin Emmanuelle Béart but that was a good film.
Most memorable line:
"I can't decide which is worse - to find out that you're different with another man or that you're the same!"

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Wasted all these actors. Two stars.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:
Here's a sequence from the movie that chronicles the sort of experience I believe every man should go through at some point in their lives - to discover on the Internet that one's lover is a big cheat.

"Let's see... what's could the damned password be?"

*Gasp* OMG! *Gasp*

"Oh no..."

"Tidakkkkk..."

"O cintaku... sanggup kau menduakan aku..."

"I'm gonna kill this bastard and eat his heart for dinner."

Latin Lovers: Wrecking Homes Since 1489

P/S I don't think that's really Laura Linney in the nude but that wouldda been nice, wouldn't it?

Open House (2010)

You like underwater sex in other people's swimmin pools, eh?

At a glance:

Not to be confused with a video release of what Najib and Rosmah shamelessly do in their public-funded residence durin Manchester United matches, Open House (2010) nevertheless starts off on a similar premise - it's about fools who visit a house inhabited by fools. A less-than-lovin couple tries to sell off their love nest via a property agent amidst nasty divorce proceedings but is visited by a woman and a man under sinister circumstances. Sounds like a dodgy movie already.

Bad news on the doorstep:

It is a dodgy movie. What you get is Andrew Paquin writin and also directin a movie which has his illustrious sister Anna bein roped in to market the film despite appearin for only a minute or so, while Anna's husband Stephen Moyer is the lead. The story itself is pretty ordinary and its token twist doesn't really do anythin for the movie.

Perennial wonderment:

Playboy model Tricia Helfer is definitely hot in TV's Battlestar Galactica but in this movie she looks like an old and ugly man version of Amanda Peet. She's still got that killer body but we don't get to see much of it so what's the point of this movie?

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

One and a half star. The half goes to Brian Geraghty for at least gettin the looks down as a killer and suggestin that somethin interestin might actually happen. Frustratin movie.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:
Here are more Tricia Helfer stills and also a bonus clip from the movie I found for you - Tricia Helter Pre-Underwater Sex Flirting 101. Look, then skip the movie.

Tricia Helter Pre-Underwater Sex Flirting 101

Hi. I'm Tricia Helfer and this is my house...

I'm seriously allergic to this fabric and also good movies...

I just love a man who wants to use a Merlot for lubricant!

We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011)

"Does it look like we're havin' fun, pal?"

At a glance:

Just what do you do if you gave birth to the Antichrist? Well, if it really is Satan's spawn, you could try copyin what the priest does in The Omen (1976) but what if it's just an impossible child? What if your colicky son grows up refusin all attempts to love him and starts mimickin emotions to conceal the sociopath within? If you're thinkin of havin a child, stay away from this movie. Unlike supernatural horrors like Grace (2009), this Lynne Ramsay film is an adaptation of  Lionel Shriver's 2003 fiction novel - a slow-burn disturbia that envelops you carefully behind its hypnotic grip. It's an R-rated character study into a confused mother (a perfectly cast Tilda Swinton), her deranged Satan of a son (played at different ages by Rock Duer, Jasper Newell and Ezra Miller) and to a certain extent, the ignorant but well-meanin father (John C. Reilly).

Bad news on the doorstep:

You might be unlucky enough to have read some of the synopses and reviews out there that essentially gave away what I think is vital to sustainin your fascination with its non-linear narrative. I think even the distributors don't think it matters - but I've kept it away from you if this is the first time you're readin about the film. Trust me, don't even click on the trailer below.

Perennial wonderment:

The androgynous talent that is Tilda Swinton needs to win more awards. She's not even mentioned in this year's Oscars because people can't stop ravin on and on about The Help (2011) and even on home ground she lost her BAFTA shot to Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011).

Reminds me of:

World's Greatest Dad (2009) was the last time I watched a problem kid for the most part of a movie but this Kevin kid is way beyond that.

I can't remember if I cried:

When the split narrative converges and you finally discover why you really needed to talk about Kevin.

Most memorable line:

Why would I not understand the context? I am the context.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

A four-star discussion on the nature of parentin. Are they people who are born bad? Or is it always the fault of the guardian?  Intense camerawork, needs your full attention. Kevin's partin words will stay with you for a while.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Mummy's little monster...

The Hunter (2011)

At a glance:

The last time I watched a movie that was adapted from a Julia Leigh book, it was the befuddlin Sleeping Beauty (2011), an outrageous fart piece that beggars belief. Thankfully, this one is more accessible. Picked up for 2012 distribution in the U.S. by Magnolia Pictures after the world premiere at the 2011 Toronto Film Festival, director Daniel Nettheim's debut is more drama than adventure-thriller; and its posters and trailers mislead. What you get here is an Australian movie about an undercover mercenary (the gritty Willem Dafoe) sent in by some biotech company as a scientist to hunt down the world's last Tasmanian tiger. He rents a room from a troubled woman (Frances O'Connor) while the xenophobic townsfolk try to drive him out.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Richard Kuipers review over at Variety got it spot on - that it "maintains an intriguing ambience, but general auds may feel they're not given enough info about the protag to become fully immersed in his journey toward redemption." The movie seems like its missin a few scenes that would've made this a much more satisfyin watch. Throughout the show, one waits for a great movie to happen but it never comes.

Perennial wonderment:

Isn't it simply wonderful those weird animals you get in Australia? You can read that the Tasmanian tiger, also known as the Tasmanian wolf, thylacine or Thylacinus cynocephalus (Greek for "dog-headed pouched one") is an extinct species of carnivorous marsupial. Apparently, it's called a Tasmanian tiger because of the stripes on its back.

Reminds me of:

The woods, the punishin woods.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Love the settin, love the music score, even love the child actors. Some of the wilderness shots really take your breath away. The movie, on the other hand, doesn't really work. I suspect the book holds a wonderfully poetic story and this Alice Addison screenplay doesn't convey it. 
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Frances O'Connor sure has aged a little since I last saw her in Timeline (2003) with Gerard Butler and Paul Walker. She was a girl-next-door in that one, bra straps all over the place. Now, she's a milf. If only she could land herself some bigger roles, eh. 

Frances O'Connor in The Hunter (2011)

Frances O'Connor & Morgana Davies in The Hunter (2011)

Frances O'Connor & Sam Neill in The Hunter (2011)

The Bodyguard (1992)

I wanna dance with somebody.  I wanna feel the heat with somebody.

At a glance:

One of the highest grossin films of all time in its day, The Bodyguard (1992) is a TV rerun staple that has come to serve as a grim reminder of how sweet Whitney Houston's voice once was, before all that coke, alcohol and Bobby Brown beatings took its toll. Despite gettin a Razzie nomination for her role here as popstar Rachel Marron, one should realise that the mezzo-soprano essentially played herself and this was a suitable, non-offensive part to play for what was to be her film debut. Movie is an R-rated adult thriller about a singer gettin stalked by an unknown person while Kevin Costner plays a bodyguard that closes in on the case.

Bad news on the doorstep:
The uncomfortable (and unconvincin) chemistry between the lead pair is actually part of the story line but I guess even that defence gets blown to bits when they put in all the anthems that mark a romance of the ages e.g. I Have Nothing, Run To You and of course, the definitive I Will Always Love You. The Bodyguard (1992) was never goin to be anywhere as good as the soundtrack CDs it would sell - but it was an iconic look into the campy 90s.

Perennial wonderment:

If Whitney would do it all over again.

Reminds me of:

The prospect of havin sex with a black woman.

I can't remember if I cried:

When we heard that Whitney has passed away at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on 11 February 2011. Cause of death unpublished at the time of writin.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Three stars, for its strange endurance. Glitzy stuff. Houston's last screen appearance will be alongside American Idol winner Jordin Sparks in Sony Pic's Sparkle (releasin Stateside August), a remake of the 1976 movie loosely based on the careers of The Supremes. Guess you can catch her in that.
Bonus material:

Jordin Sparks & Whitney Houston in the upcomin Sparkle (2012).

The day the music died:

R.I.P. Whitney Houston (9 Aug 1963 – 11 Feb 2012)

Prowl (2010)

"Hi. My friend over here would like the exfoliation package."

At a glance:

After Dark Films' horror project Prowl (2010) recalls contemporaries like 30 Days Of Night (2007) in terms of how the vampires all have black irises and have the ability to pounce from great distances. Courtney Hope (pic, right) plays a small town loser desperately tryin to move out to Chicago but stumbles upon some supernatural company together with her loser friends when they decide to travel with some unidentified goods at the back of a truck. 

Bad news on the doorstep:

The movie gives us some semblance of a reason to invest in the protagonist through some backstory but otherwise offers nothin new other than a flimsy twist for a climax. Courtney Hope, despite lookin a little like now-retired pornstar Courtney Simpson, disappointingly keeps her kit on the entire show. She gives it her all but the movie collapses anyway.

Perennial wonderment:

If vampires can orgasm.

Reminds me of:

28 Days Later (2002) and 30 Days Of Night (2007).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Two stars, thanks to a decent music score. Very little goin for it. Should've expanded on the vampire matriarch played by Saxon Trainor (pic).
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Prowl (2010) stars actors I've never heard of like Perdita Weeks, Courtney Hope, Ruta Gedmintas, Joshua Bowman and Jamie Blackley.