KL Gangster 2 (2013)

Rosyam Nor goes for Sheera Iskandar's extra virgin goodness in KL Gangster 2.

"Pat pat siku lipat, siapa download aku sunat!"

At a glance:

Unceremoniously leaked online more than a full month ahead of its theatrical run this 3 October, filmmaker Syamsul Yusof's dreams (and Daddy's dough) must've gone up in flames last night, as KL Gangster 2 (2013) will now be forever known as Skop Production's RM 4.5 mil prequel that goes into the game with no hope of nibblin anythin near the record RM 11.74 mil the original posted late in 2011. Poor thing. I dragged all my middle class friends to the cinema and paid cash money to watch the first movie twice, just to make sure they had the funds to make this one. Things were still very upbeat three weeks ago when its excitin YouTube trailer was released to more than a million views.

Bad news on the doorstep:

KL Gangster 2: Tauke or taugeh?

The package is generally overlong at almost two hours, with Zizan's wannabe gangsta funnyman role, so celebrated in the first instalment, ostensibly overstayin his welcome, along with all that overdone Canto and Hokkien palaver you get from everyone else. Adam Corrie repeatedly sayin one line in Cantonese only to follow it with the correspondin Malay translation is a fatal example of how it all goes pear-shaped on this occasion. You just can't do that! When KL Gangster first hit the screens in 2011, it played along the fine lines between the lame and the laughable, while deliverin Malaysia's answer to Hong Kong's popular 90s series Young And Dangerous (Syamsul actually outright name drops Chan Ho Nam this time) in a surprisingly refreshin and fun way. This 2013 prequel boasts a "dream team" cast addition in veteran villain Rosyam Nor but while the man acquits himself well, all that trash talk throughout has worn too thin and there is seriously very little poison left in Soffi Jikan's Bangladeshi sting. Even Syamsul Yusof's unpolished stab at the Chinese dialects are exposed this time as he attempts longer lines. The first product was an enjoyable and successful hit-and-run. This one sorely needed a stronger script and newer elements.

"Who uploaded my movie?! Who?!"

Perennial wonderment:
How did the movie fall in the wrong hands? What an unfortunate development. As Soffi Jikan quips in the movie: O.O.O. -- Out of order.

Reminds me of:

How Hugh Jackman was completely heartbroken when an unfinished copy of his labour of love X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) was uploaded a month before it was released in cinemas. The perp, a New York movie fan by the name of Gilberto Sanchez, 49, pleaded guilty and got a year behind bars. Will they get to the bottom of this one? Do me a favour, fellas. Go watch this one in the cinema because whatever its flaws, it deserves to be seen on the big screen, especially for the ambitious action sequences near the end.

Most memorable line:

"Ini malam manyak sui laa. Pukul tiga pagi lagi mau kacau orang ka? Sejuk sejuk ini macam ah, baik lu balik peluk bini bikin anak maa." Love the new mullet, Syamsul! Oh, Rosyam Nor has a good one too. "Eh barua, gua mau kasi ingat sama lu ah, duduk sini lu punya tempat diam-diam, lu jaga sama lu punya anjing-anjing hitam. Jangan nanti hari Deepavali, orang pecah kelapa, lu pecah kepala." Not gonna make many MIC friends any time soon.
Watch out for:

Babi-cue punya perempuan:
The deliciously milfy Angeline Tan Yoke Yeah.

The incredibly and deliciously milfy Angeline Tan Yoke Yeah (of Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu fame, who seems to be enjoyin a new lease of big screen life lately, starrin in films like Cinta Beruang and Hantu Air). She actually gets quite a lot of screen time but cannot turn the movie around. By the way, Sheera Iskandar's err... "heavy" return as the once-pious disco sister is a complete letdown, contributin little to the proceedings.

From hati kering to poket kering?

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

As a staunch supporter of this franchise, I wanted it to be good so badly -- and more importantly, I wanted it to make money. What are the chances now for KL Gangster 3? My heart goes out to Syamsul Yusof, who has apparently lodged a police report this mornin over the matter. "Sorry ah, lengcai. Lu punya ending tarak chantek maa." ★★1/2
Bonus material:

Kepong Gangster (2012) 甲洞

"Whaddya mean you don't stock Schwarzkopf's extra strong hold gel?!?!"

At a glance:

Really organised crime:
Agreeing beforehand us pipes, you sticks.

As Jordan Chan learned in The Wall (2002), just because you smoke hard, doesn't mean you look hard. The tired Malaysian gangster genre unfortunately continues with a most unrealistic, though earnest addition - Mahu Pictures / Ram Entertainment's RM 2.09 million-grossin Cantonese cringer Kepong Gangster (2012) a.k.a 甲洞. Betrayin a title card prologue that hints towards a gangland epic with real provenance (e.g. Johnnie To's much celebrated Election a.k.a. 黑社会 duology), it doesn't take long before the highlight-finned prettyboys come out to play, brandishin their suspect Cantonese accents, rented watermelon knives and temporary tribal tattoos, to strike fear into the hearts of mostly one another, since there's probably insufficient funds to include elements like - oh I don't know - the police? This laughable knock-off draws obvious parallels from Hong Kong's popular Young And Dangerous series but is difficult to enjoy due to the painfully derivative story and screenplay, not to mention some iffy humour at the start and protracted melodrama at the end.

Bad news on the doorstep:

The irony in its successful LPF appeal (overturnin the dreaded 18 ratin for a more box office-friendly PG13) is that you'd probably do need to be a 13-year-old to believe the events in the movie. While there are some useful instances (e.g. triad hand signal greetings), the already sore, low note of credibility cannot be redeemed by the fashionista five. Melvin Sia (any relation to Mers Sia from Chow Kit or are they one and the same?), Henley Hii (big Eagles fan perhaps), Hero Tai, Billy Ng and Rayz Lim come across as unblemished, homogenous hairdressers from Jinjang, all waitin to break into song. We can cut debutant director Teng Bee some slack for he's a music producer by trainin, but the commendable conviction here from both cast and crew is sadly lost to the characterisation. A solid story is needed to allow us to overlook the same MTV boyband stylings of Mark Chao and Ethan Juan in Doze Niu's highly effective Taiwanese tale, Monga (2010). Either that, or take heart from Louis Koo, who went against image consultants with his yellow-toothed street bum role in Protégé (2007).

Reminds me of:

Jovi Theng delivers.

The mid-tier boss played by pop group lead Jovi Theng is similar to Adam Corrie in Malay gangster movies. Surprisingly, he's the only one in the movie you'd buy. That is to say, he's the only who might actually pass as the bookie or pusher on the other line and not the nancy who's tryin to get you in on the Chinese New Year hair rebondin offer. Well done.

Perennial wonderment:

Who backs these projects? I saw a Dato's name in the openin credits. I hope they get better scripts next time.
Watch out for:

All we got to see of Linda Liao was a black bra strap. Cis! 

Taiwanese singer, MTV Mandarin VJ and bit-part actress Linda Liao Pei Ling 廖佩伶 aka 廖語晴. She plays the gangster's moll and provides for the movie's less embarrassin dramatic moments. Too bad, every time the movie starts to get a little steamy, it fades to black. Potong stim.

Most memorable line:

I'm not sure the context is correct but in the end there's an allusion to Bruce Lee's famous "be water" advice, when we are told that a tree will tumble durin a storm but not the grass, thus the latter bein the stronger.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Ain't seen Michael Chuah's critically-panned Fist Of Dragon (2011) a.k.a. 龍拳 but one sincerely hopes Kepong Gangster can be the launchpad of many careers, lest we endured it in vain. As for me, I'd sooner fancy a rerun of Budak Kelantan (2008) any day.★★

Bonus material:

Indeed.

Kepong gangsters or Kepong hairdressers?

I rest my case.

KL Gangster (2011)

"Lu cakap macam orang sudah mau bosan dengan hidop, tau?"

At a glance:

Malaysia's top grossin film of all time at RM 11.74 mil accordin to the FINAS jokers (that's almost US$ 4 mil) is a gangster flick that won't make much sense outside the multi-ethnic Southeast Asian nation - but to the jaded locals, this was a refreshin mainstream action movie that immediately spared us the perennial tedium of predictable and pedestrian scriptin, deservin all the box office success it achieved, especially since it doesn't even have a female lead. Probably conceived after director and scribe Shamsul Yusof chanced upon some of HK's Young And Dangerous movies from the 90s, the highest sellin point for this ### is the undeniably original and inspired dialogue - a mixaphorical street market dialect punctuated by rude and unnatural Cantonese retorts by Malay characters. This drew non-Malay audiences even, a most rare occurrence in the country.

Bad news on the doorstep:

"Lu mau gua dudok diam? Lu kasi wa mati dulu la baru wa diam."

Some glarin continuity goofs and a few poor performances blight an otherwise solid tour-de-fist of over-the-top Kuala Lumpur gangland warfare. For those unfamiliar with the territory - no, we don't get tattooed Malay hoods runnin through Chinatown with two pistols and a suitcase in midday. Velvet blazers for that quintessential nouveau rich look are a tropical no-no as well.

Perennial wonderment:

Adiputra's muscular turn as the enigmatic gangster Jai (with unlit cigarette, below) takes the top prize for best actin but I'm quite concerned as to how the man is doin right now. In an appearance at a Malaysian shoppin mall not too long ago with co-stars Aaron Aziz and Adam Corrie to promote the flick, he lost a lot of weight and looked rather jaundiced. Sure hope he'll be in more movies. 

Reminds me of:

I can't remember if I cried:

"Lawan gua bukan dua orang
tapi dua lori."

When Zizan Raja Lawak, the movie's singular point of comic relief, says: "Gua mau beli banglo besar kat depan tu, tapi takde budget pasal gua dah beli TV plasma ni dengan tali pinggang ni." (literally "I want to buy that big house over there but I'm quiet broke because I already bought this plasma TV and this belt."). There are plenty of memorable one-liners in this movie and the people at Skop Productions can be credited for an interestin marketin approach on Facebook which had them settin up multiple fan pages just for these lines.

Watch out for:
Anythin Zizan Raja Lawak says or does is absolutely original and hilarious. He won't top this performance for a very long time.
Most memorable line:

Too many to pick from.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

This movie gets my four stars and I paid cash money to watch it at a cinema twice to make sure Yusof Haslam's pockets are properly lined to shoot KL Gangster 2.★★★★

Trailer for the curious:

 Bonus material:

1996 Hong Kong material gets a 2011 Malay reupdate to the tune of RM 11.74 million. Why bother changin a winnin formula, eh?

Brothers (2007) @ 兄弟

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Rebellion (2009) @ 同門

At a glance:
Delayed HK release, from last year. If you take away lead pair Shawn Yue and Chapton To, the flick is pretty consistent example of a low-cost but effective Herman Yau piece, like his The First 7th Night earlier this year. Told like a one-night-only gangland epic, Shawn Yue plays fighting ace Po, the unwillin temporary triad boss of the five-gang strong East District. Chaos is the order of the day due to a hit on the big boss and Po must hold the fort until First Lady / Big Sister Cheong Wah (special appearance by TVB's Ada Choi) returns from abroad with further instructions. However, a guessin game takes place within the organisation and everyone from gang leaders to restaurant waitresses joins the chase to protect or destroy the person who did the hit. Chapman To's character, Blackie, wants an all-out war anyway but the cops want in on the game as well.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Only two complaints from me - one is the terribly simple climax and the other is the lazy movie poster. Still, if the money saved on that somehow goes into Yau's pocket, good on you.
Perennial wonderment:
Has Herman Yau gone soft? If anyone thinks his tame Laughing Gor: Turning Point is indeed a turnin point of some sort for a director who is best known for CAT III classics Ebola Virus and Untold Story, they might not be wrong. However, despite a CAT III ratin, Rebellion is actually a story-driven movie which landed the label not because of gore or sex but rather its government's stand on depiction of gangland affairs, if anythin.
Reminds me of:
The time some coppers camped outside my hotel in Causeway Bay because this drunk guy was havin a go at another drunk guy durin a weddin. Nope, Ekin Cheng didn't show up.
Watch out for:
This Jun Kung Shek Leung, who plays a particularly charismatic mob head named Brother Sand. All this actions and words seem totally improvised, as even a Canto-retard friend of mine can point out. Completely entertainin. Turns out he's Portuguese-Chinese and his birth name is Joventino Couto Remotigue Jr. Reminiscent of Anthony Wong as Tai Fei in the Young And Dangerous days, I guess.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Well they could've thrown in some Ada Choi skin, since Elanne Kwong is just too borin as the tag-along chick. Who doesn't want some of that Miss HK '91 skin, crowfeet eyes or not? Shawn Yue's turn is standard while Chapman To's scene-stealin prowess gets another showcase. All characters seem necessary enough. Solid three-star movie for me.

I Corrupt All Cops (2009) @ 金錢帝國

"I give, you take. Everybody happy."

At a glance:

Best nyer. Ada duit.

Seasonal sex farce rubbishman Wong Jing stretches semi-serious in this messy, unfocused and overcrowded crime drama loosely centred around how the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) in HK came to be, told mostly through the eyes of Eason Chan's morally ambiguous bent cop character. Movie benefits from a stellar cast with solid turns from everyone - Anthony Wong (pic) has fun bein a lowlife cop and Tony Leung is effortlessly glorious as the underhanded police chief (can't dribble a football to save his life, though). Even the fattie filmmaker Wong Jing himself is very watchable as a bent middleman. Some sporadic cheesiness but the stars make it worthwhile.
Bad news on the doorstep:
A lot of Anthony Wong's cutterblade Canto-cussin is omitted if you're watchin this in a Malaysian cinema. Wonder if there were tits.
Perennial wonderment:
Tony fuckin Leung, the ugly (and more talented) one. He and Sun Hong Lei are the nastiest-lookin chinamen bastards onscreen ever, I'd say. At least I've seen Roy Cheung play a good guy in a movie before but these two have facial bones, muscular twitches and psycho countenance that spell taiko trouble like nobody can.
Watch out for:
Busty broad Natalie Meng Yao, the Wong Jing-favourited milk factory (to borrow Anthony Wong's words) who has been, err... industrious since Beauty And The Seven Beasts, My Wife Is A Gambling Maestro and The Vampire Who Admires Me.
Most memorable line:
I caused him to lose face? Here, take this money. Ask him to make a new face with this money.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Three and a half. Greatly flawed but nevertheless entertainin.

Bonus material:
I have loads of movie stills for you. Enjoy.

Natalie Meng. Yum!

"Ok man. You win. I won't make another stupid movie ever again."