They Wait (2007) @ Demon Days

At a glance:

Female ghost with strange black, inky arms.

Here's more on the Chinese Hungry Ghost Festival. They Wait (2007) was a Canadian horror flick that most dismissed as a silly piece of work, produced by the overwhelmingly unpopular Uwe Boll and directed by Ernie Barbarash (Assassination Games, 2011) but I'd like to think the story and screenplay by Trevor Markwart is actually quite solid and intriguin, though the finished product of course, stumbles here and there. Look away now if you don't wanna read a spoiler: besides playin out a mystery that traces back to maligned sweatshop immigrants, it also skims over a topic I don't think any horror movie has ever covered before - inhumane bear farmin! We follow a married inter-racial couple (coincidentally I just watched another Chinese-Caucasian pairin in Seventh Moon last night) as they return to Vancouver for an uncle's funeral after six years abroad in Shanghai. Just as you would expect, it's open season for them starved spirits and their son Sammy (Regan Oey) starts to be able to see them like a Chinese Haley Joel Osment, subsequently fallin prey to one particular mysterious spectre, a female ghost with strange black, inky arms. Sarah (Jaime King) and Jason (Terry Chen) must figure out just what they want before dawn, when the realm of the dead would close up and the kid will be lost forever.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Terry Chen
- what an annoyin actor!

Well, the heart of the mystery is unusual and definitely not cliched but the eerie buildup is undone by some cartoonish CG work, made worse by Terry Chen (The A-Team, 2010) in a superfluous role as the nobody dad. Poor guy was probably miscast because they movie doesn't need him at all. He took too much attention away from Jaime King (Mother's Day, 2011) and made the pair look trivial. I also have a problem with the castin of the kid, whose "Eurasian attributes" go as far as havin dyed brown hair. Come on guys, get real!

Bitter, bitter.
Cured my fever?

Perennial wonderment:

Does bear bile really work? God knows I had a lot as a child. They were nasty. I hope one day the trade will stop. For further readin on the bear bile trade and just how torturous it is for our ursine friends, check out a Facebook fan page or two because that's what people do these days.

Reminds me of:

Kelvin Tong's The Maid (2005).

Watch out for:

Shaw Bros wuxia vet Cheng Pei Pei (Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun-Li, 2009) plays the annoyin aunt with some literal skeletons in the closet. Great to see the golden oldies still gettin work.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

★★ 1/2 for the story.

Shaw Brothers wuxia vet Cheng Pei-Pei.

Brave (2012) @ The Bear And The Bow

"I'm Pixar's first princess and I'm goin ta skelp ye wee behind!"

At a glance:

Here is where we meet and discuss how we were seduced by that awesome trailer. Did you know its previous title was The Bear And The Bow? Anyway, it's Pixar's first female protag and Disney's first redhead heroine since Ariel in The Little Mermaid (1989). She's not an annoyin Princess Nobody like in Tangled (2010) either. She's spunky, she's Scottish and she can shoot the moustache off an ant. The stage is all set for Princess Merida (Kelly MacDonald) to light this story on fire and give us even more of the kind of feudal fun we had with contemporaries like How To Train Your Dragon (2010).

Bad news on the doorstep:

"Dinnae ye ken, our movie kinda sucks
so don't be a wee clipe!"

It starts like a Scottish Mulan (1998), then careens off into some kinda magic bear Shrek story. Watchin Brave (2012) is like watchin two movies waitin to happen; and both never does. Perhaps the mixed proceedings had somethin to do with there bein two directors to finish off the movie. In any case, Hollywood Reporter's Todd McCarthy was spot on, that the film "diminishes into a rather wee thing as it chugs along, with climactic drama that is both too conveniently wrapped up and hinges on magical elements that are somewhat confusing to boot." It was an awkward journey because the heart of the story goes missin midway and the audience is left unsure what to do with the emotional downtime that is spread all over the place. Pixar's 13th will go down with poor Princess Merida as a failed fairy tale.
Perennial wonderment:

"Yes, Scotttish girls shave. Next question, please."

What were the creative disagreements that caused this movie to have two directors? Pixar's first female helmer Brenda Chapman (The Prince Of Egypt, 1998) was replaced by Mark Andrews; and along with it some 80% of scenes in the snow, I understand. 

Reminds me of:

Every time I hear Kelly MacDonald's voice, it takes me back to Trainspotting (1996), the time she gives Ewan McGregor so much lip outside the club, before gettin into the taxi and goin home with him to indulge in a spot of statutory rape.

I can't remember if I cried:

This is the first film to be released with the so-called Dolby Atmos sound format, developed by Dolby to reproduce more "natural and lifelike" sounds. Unless that means it's bloody difficult to hear a damned thing in the woods, then I have no clue what it is. I watched this at an advance screenin in Hall 7 of Famous Players Coliseum, Mississauga, where they really need to upgrade the system!

Should've been more on the will-o'-the-wisp / jack-o-lantern.
Reminds me of The Secret Of Kells (2009).

Most memorable line:

None.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Well this certainly isn't WALL·E (2008). Didn't need to be in 3D either. Wasted all that good Celtic music in an underwhelmin product. I'm not sure what the end credit bonus scene was but I don't think I'm missin much. Console yourself instead with the fact that you watched Enrico Casarosa's neat little short La Luna (2011) in the beginnin. As Variety's Peter Debruge points out, it added seven minutes to the runnin time of Pixar's shortest feature since Monsters, Inc (2001). Verily, it covered too much about too many, in too little time. ★★ 1/2
Bonus material:

Check out the Brave Facebook fan page today.