Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Will Woody Harrelson ever play a sweet, charming, leading man?

Leggy Olga Kurylenko at the TIFF 2011 premiere.

At a glance:

You will finish writin a screenplay if your screenplay is about the difficulty in writin a screenplay. That's the almost meta-movie that came out of Martin McDonagh's mind (In Bruges, 2008) - a bizarre Tarantinoesque tale generously dipped in dark humour, ostensibly less fun than the recent Killer Joe (2012) but more heart than say, Rubber (2010) or Hit And Run (2012). It's the kind of movie you're dyin to like as soon as you see the poster or watch the trailer. Hymen-thin plottin revolves around three central characters - alcoholic scriptwriter Marty (Colin Farrell), his maligned friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) and an peculiar old guy named Hans (Christopher Walken). The latter two run a small time dognapping syndicate and cowboy mobster Charlie (Woody Harrelson) just happens to have a missin shih tzu. Part of the joy of such a movie is watchin the characters enter, so I'll spare you the mazy ensemble minutiae.

Bad news on the doorstep:

One of many memes on the official Seven Psychopaths Facebook page.

All the scenes cut a pretty picture and if viewed on their own separately, look as if they're from the next Pulp Fiction (1994). Variety's Peter Debruge argues that ironically enough, the McDonagh's "apparent lack of any attempt to make a grand artistic statement could easily make this outing his most accessible project to date". It's definitely easy on the eyes with such a handsome cast - I'm one of those who'd pay good money just to see Christopher Walken walk a dog. However, while this juicy project is not short of energy or violence, its charm pivots on your empathy with the characters; and this is purposefully manipulated to reward and frustrate your expectations at every turn. That is to say, the movie wrote itself to the finishin line, to hell with the audience. 
Perennial wonderment:
Talk about gettin even. Never cared for Colin Farrell but here's somethin interestin for you - apparently Mickey Rourke dropped out of this because he had a problem with the director and Woody Harrelson took his role. In the movie, there's a tombstone with Rourke's name on it. Recently, it was reported that Rourke tweeted about how we shouldn't watch the movie because it's unwatchable and a waste of time. Ha!

Reminds me of:

You know how Machete (2010) was the unlikely end product of a fake Tarantino trailer that was picked up on? I got a feelin one of the stories in the caper could do with one of those. It's the one about a Vietnamese priest.

Harry Dean Stanton

I can't remember if I cried:

When Olga Kurylenko appeared for just the duration of which it takes you to say her name. Cheated! In fact, Kurylenko, Abbie Cornish and Gabourey Sidibe probably had just 10 minutes screen time between them.

Most memorable line:

Next to an inspired five minutes of  Sam Rockwell catharsis near the end, the Gandhi joke in the trailer is the best moment of the movie for me. In fact, it's that tone of humour that permeates throughout the movie.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

It's strange that my wife enjoyed it more than me. I guess I wanted it to be a new spin on The Usual Suspects (1995) or somethin like that. Seven Psychopaths (2012) begs you to go crazy with it but I reckon only half of are willin and a further half of that are able.★★1/2
Bonus material:

You know what the annoying thing is?
Not all seven of the actors are the so-called psychopaths! Sheesh.

Long Arm Of The Law (1984) @ 省港旗兵

Lam Wai 林威 stars in Long Arm Of The Law (1984) 省港旗兵

At a glance:

An obviously dated but important Chinese film that predates all the John Woo gun movies from Hong Kong that we celebrate. Director Johnny Mak Tong Hung 麥當雄 gets some cold-blooded actin out of exploitation flick staple Lam Wai 林威 (pic) in a movie where everyone's a bad guy. It's about how a bunch of Mainland ex-soldiers travel to Hong Kong hopin to pull off some heists and make the kind of money that they can never make in 100 years workin in China (referenced in the film). Hooray for Capitalism. Hooray for exploitation cinema.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Might be difficult to find this film in its entirety (not those episodic YouTube uploads). Might be more difficult to find out why it's good cinema if you're just a regular movie buff. This was one of the earliest films for villain staples like Chan Ging and Shum Wai.

Watch out for:

A climactic gunfight through the mazy, squalid squatters in what was once the lawless Kowloon Walled City. Fuicho. Some really OTT executions, too.

Most memorable line:

"I am a Mainland boy. I don't know my ABCDs. I do things without any love or interest. Don't try to be funny with me. What are you, whore? You're a rotten tomato. You're a chicken biscuit. Now, strip!"

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Eye-openin crime flick about how it used to be durin the days of givin your brother a Dupont lighter to show him how you've made it big. Long Arm Of The Law (1984) was ranked #6 on the list of Best 100 Chinese Motion Pictures durin the 24th Hong Kong Film Awards ceremony on 27 March 2005.★★★
Trailer for the curious:

Pusher III (2005)

At a glance:
Pusher III is a somewhat muted culmination to the celebrated cult trilogy, focusin on a particularly menacin kingpin from the first two movies - baldin Serbian old-timer Milo, played by accomplished Croat actor Zlatko Burić, pic (doorman in Dirty Pretty Things and also went on to appear in that disaster movie 2012). We follow him through the course of just one day in his life, as he tries very hard to stay off dope while keepin ahead of some dodgy Albanians, Turks, Poles etc and bein the chef for his daughter's birthday party.
Bad news on the doorstep:
It's been more than five years and fans of the series are still waitin for more from writer-director Nicolas Winding Refn but all we've got is a 2010 Hindi rip-off with the same name. You would've thought that since he has had some successful British and Hollywood projects e.g. Bronson and Drive he would start work on Pusher IV as soon as he can. There's good DVD money here and too many characters left unexplored. Please make Pusher IV in my lifetime, Nicolas!
Reminds me of:
Milo's harrowin attempts to stay clean and do right throughout the story are so realistic that any person who has ever been addicted to anythin, can relate to them. There are little nuggets of humanity in him, a sort of criminal determinism that defines him, yet the very next moment he goes about doin the cruelest things with frightenin ease. Milo's character struggle is like any criminal's - the irremediable belief that they are all unfortunate victims of circumstance. Milo's allure however, is that because he doesn't apologise for or try to justify his actions one bit, we begin to see the beauty of believin him.
Watch out for:
The reappearance of Milo's trusty henchman Radovan (Slavko Labovic) in the last third of the film, where the most grisly acts of criminal dismemberment get committed to your memory for life.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Four stars for a truly satisfyin watch. You feel lucky to be a middle class wanker readin blogs like this one in your free time instead of bein mixed up with the characters in Pusher III.

Pusher II (2004)

At a glance:
A standalone sequel but best watched with the '96 original, Pusher II and Pusher III are nevertheless projects that were done because director Nicolas Winding Refn reportedly needed to bail his foreclosin production company back out into the black after runnin into debt. Thank goodness the man went back on his word not to touch the cult classic because the product is definitely top notch, expandin on the characters shown in the first film. Pusher II focuses on Tonny (Mads Mikkelsen, left) the seasonal loser so desperately eager to impress his disappointed dad (Leif Sylvester) and overturn his catalogue of lifelong fuckups that he ends up spirallin further down the abyss of self-destruction instead. It's not as intense as the first film but by golly it is a magnificently depressin one with wonderfully built themes of family dysfunction, drugs, responsibility and friendship.
Bad news on the doorstep: 
 I'm a big fan. I can't think of bad things to say about this very studied trilogy, except maybe I think not every female in this movie needed to be a prostitute.
Watch out for:
A particularly heart-warmin and suitably underhit scene in which Tonny discovers how his mother is doin.
Most memorable line:
"Dude, I just got this new girl in the house, right? A really nice, little cunt. Then last night, I was doing her doggy-style in the bathtub, right? Then suddenly, she slipped in the foam and smacked her teeth on the edge - four teeth out her mouth. Must have hurt like shit, dude. But don't worry, it's only her baby teeth."
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Mads Mikkelsen is a very good actor and you can go swimmin in the depth of his actin. Just like the first film, you know it's a great movie when you start carin for people as irredeemable as these.★★★★

Sniper (2009) @ 神枪手

At a glance:
Dante Lam's long sidelined sniper flick starrin that man Edison Chen as a rookie shooter caught between his loyalty to the team leader (a 60% sterner Richie Ren) and an outlawed ex-cop (Mainland poster boy Huang Xiao Ming) who was once top marksman. Accessorisin chicks like Mango Lam and Michelle Ye only an afterthought to the story.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Bullet in the mail for Edison Chen, can't go nowhere to promote the movie. This movie was my first non-local world premiere. I was sneaked in for the after-party and even met Dante himself. Wish I were more prepared, couldda asked him some stuff. Ah nevermind, the free Heine was good.
Watch out for:
The silly ass CG scene of a sniper bullet splittin a coin. What balls.
Most memorable line:
"S4 - confirmed". Watch the movie to find out about the only part of the movie which was excitin.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
At least they kept it short. ★★ 1/2

La Haine (1995)

At a glance:
Among the top ten finest films ever made - if you disagree, you have no business here readin this blog. Reportedly shown by the French PM to his Cabinet, to let them know the state of affairs the nation was faced with. Gritty, existentialist tale of three friends - each of whom represent a response class in the socio-political anarchy that is the youth of France. Give them a policeman's handgun and watch the movie eat you up.
Perennial wonderment:
Vince Cassel, the French fucker who married Monica Bellucci. He's a badass character actor that only similar bastards (like me) can appreciate. Spent his whole career playing psychotic bad guys and in this movie he's got the role of a teenager who could have been the younger version of all the Vince Cassel bad guys you ever watched.
Reminds me of:
My best mate Lanky B, who is just about the toppest top geezer who ever left South London. It's his favourite film and he introduced it to me.
Watch out for:
The climax.
Most memorable line:
Well it's not the most memorable line but there's a 1-min monologue about a guy who took a shit in the bushes and couldn't get back on the train because he's always pullin his trousers up.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Five fuckin stars.