KL Gangster 2 (2013)

Rosyam Nor goes for Sheera Iskandar's extra virgin goodness in KL Gangster 2.

"Pat pat siku lipat, siapa download aku sunat!"

At a glance:

Unceremoniously leaked online more than a full month ahead of its theatrical run this 3 October, filmmaker Syamsul Yusof's dreams (and Daddy's dough) must've gone up in flames last night, as KL Gangster 2 (2013) will now be forever known as Skop Production's RM 4.5 mil prequel that goes into the game with no hope of nibblin anythin near the record RM 11.74 mil the original posted late in 2011. Poor thing. I dragged all my middle class friends to the cinema and paid cash money to watch the first movie twice, just to make sure they had the funds to make this one. Things were still very upbeat three weeks ago when its excitin YouTube trailer was released to more than a million views.

Bad news on the doorstep:

KL Gangster 2: Tauke or taugeh?

The package is generally overlong at almost two hours, with Zizan's wannabe gangsta funnyman role, so celebrated in the first instalment, ostensibly overstayin his welcome, along with all that overdone Canto and Hokkien palaver you get from everyone else. Adam Corrie repeatedly sayin one line in Cantonese only to follow it with the correspondin Malay translation is a fatal example of how it all goes pear-shaped on this occasion. You just can't do that! When KL Gangster first hit the screens in 2011, it played along the fine lines between the lame and the laughable, while deliverin Malaysia's answer to Hong Kong's popular 90s series Young And Dangerous (Syamsul actually outright name drops Chan Ho Nam this time) in a surprisingly refreshin and fun way. This 2013 prequel boasts a "dream team" cast addition in veteran villain Rosyam Nor but while the man acquits himself well, all that trash talk throughout has worn too thin and there is seriously very little poison left in Soffi Jikan's Bangladeshi sting. Even Syamsul Yusof's unpolished stab at the Chinese dialects are exposed this time as he attempts longer lines. The first product was an enjoyable and successful hit-and-run. This one sorely needed a stronger script and newer elements.

"Who uploaded my movie?! Who?!"

Perennial wonderment:
How did the movie fall in the wrong hands? What an unfortunate development. As Soffi Jikan quips in the movie: O.O.O. -- Out of order.

Reminds me of:

How Hugh Jackman was completely heartbroken when an unfinished copy of his labour of love X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) was uploaded a month before it was released in cinemas. The perp, a New York movie fan by the name of Gilberto Sanchez, 49, pleaded guilty and got a year behind bars. Will they get to the bottom of this one? Do me a favour, fellas. Go watch this one in the cinema because whatever its flaws, it deserves to be seen on the big screen, especially for the ambitious action sequences near the end.

Most memorable line:

"Ini malam manyak sui laa. Pukul tiga pagi lagi mau kacau orang ka? Sejuk sejuk ini macam ah, baik lu balik peluk bini bikin anak maa." Love the new mullet, Syamsul! Oh, Rosyam Nor has a good one too. "Eh barua, gua mau kasi ingat sama lu ah, duduk sini lu punya tempat diam-diam, lu jaga sama lu punya anjing-anjing hitam. Jangan nanti hari Deepavali, orang pecah kelapa, lu pecah kepala." Not gonna make many MIC friends any time soon.
Watch out for:

Babi-cue punya perempuan:
The deliciously milfy Angeline Tan Yoke Yeah.

The incredibly and deliciously milfy Angeline Tan Yoke Yeah (of Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu fame, who seems to be enjoyin a new lease of big screen life lately, starrin in films like Cinta Beruang and Hantu Air). She actually gets quite a lot of screen time but cannot turn the movie around. By the way, Sheera Iskandar's err... "heavy" return as the once-pious disco sister is a complete letdown, contributin little to the proceedings.

From hati kering to poket kering?

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

As a staunch supporter of this franchise, I wanted it to be good so badly -- and more importantly, I wanted it to make money. What are the chances now for KL Gangster 3? My heart goes out to Syamsul Yusof, who has apparently lodged a police report this mornin over the matter. "Sorry ah, lengcai. Lu punya ending tarak chantek maa." ★★1/2
Bonus material:

Jiwa Taiko (2012)

Sex with strangers: Nadiya Nisaa and Bront Palarae.

At a glance:

I think we have to get to the bad news in the first paragraph itself. If you too thought Osman Ali's Jiwa Taiko (2012) was gonna right all the wrongs in Anak Halal (2009) and combine with the box office sensibilities of KL Gangster (2011), then we're all the same fools who didn't know that fantastic poster actually reads "Jiwang Taiko" ("sentimental triad boss"). Yes, this is a pretty naive outin from the Nuansa stable that has angered no small number of regular Malay cinemagoers, thanks to a grossly misleadin marketin campaign that sought to mask the melodramatic tripe it really is. We follow convalescent ex-con Remy Ishak and his merry band of welfare home misfits as they do battle against his former crime partner Bront Palarae. Throw in a love rectangle or two (could well be a pentagon or hexagon even), some pseudo-silat elements and there you have it - a badly edited RM 620,000 box office disaster. Maybe some of the psychotropic drugs in the movie could help alleviate the shame of havin been outgrossed by M Subash's farcical horror You Believe In Ghost? (2012). My heart goes out to Osman Ali who seems perpetually uninspired in familiar territory.

SOCKKK!!! KAPOWWW!!! BISHHH!!!
Okay, break for lunch!

Bad news on the doorstep:

Like I said - put simply, nobody is buyin the story. Should've kept its old title - Bara Jiwa.

Perennial wonderment:

Apparently some steamy scenes were snipped, so how does a wide-release poster with Bront Palarae prominently holdin a cigarette get passed? I remember the magazine I was with, we were receivin warnin letters from the Home Ministry over a tiny movie still of Tarantino's Grindhouse (2007) in which someone is holdin a cigarette. Guess they're still makin it up on the go.

Reminds me of:

Anti-AIDS and anti-drugs community service ads from Malaysia's 90s.

Watch out for:

I have some sympathy for Bront Palarae, who relishes these psychotic antagonist roles and acts his heart out here. His take on a skinny, doped-up gangster is done with conviction, even if it's actually nothin we ain't seen 30 years ago in Hong Kong triad movies. I guess we have to really scrape the bottom of the barrel for any positivity in a paper-thin script like this. Special mention here for Nadiyatul Nisaa a.k.a. Nadiya Nisaa who plays problem girl Lara. The poor girl is completely out of her depth, although her beauty mole does exude some dirty girl appeal, sorta like a Malay Blake Lively. I shit you not, this Malaysian Film Festival Pelakon Harapan winner for Cun (2011) would've done better for herself if she turned in a mute performance, instead of shriekin English lines like "I need to think!!!" and bein generally very annoyin at a high-pitch.

"How do you know it was me
who passed the herpes to you?"

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Readin Osman Ali's defence doesn't help. The jury is already out on its Facebook fan page. Both action and romance border on comical farce. Gratuitous huggin and kissin invoke the wrath of more conservative audiences but on merit alone, this is an insult to the rudimentary plebeian tastes of an already undemandin target crowd. What a huge disappointment.★1/2

Bonus material:

A missed opportunity.

KL Gangster (2011)

"Lu cakap macam orang sudah mau bosan dengan hidop, tau?"

At a glance:

Malaysia's top grossin film of all time at RM 11.74 mil accordin to the FINAS jokers (that's almost US$ 4 mil) is a gangster flick that won't make much sense outside the multi-ethnic Southeast Asian nation - but to the jaded locals, this was a refreshin mainstream action movie that immediately spared us the perennial tedium of predictable and pedestrian scriptin, deservin all the box office success it achieved, especially since it doesn't even have a female lead. Probably conceived after director and scribe Shamsul Yusof chanced upon some of HK's Young And Dangerous movies from the 90s, the highest sellin point for this ### is the undeniably original and inspired dialogue - a mixaphorical street market dialect punctuated by rude and unnatural Cantonese retorts by Malay characters. This drew non-Malay audiences even, a most rare occurrence in the country.

Bad news on the doorstep:

"Lu mau gua dudok diam? Lu kasi wa mati dulu la baru wa diam."

Some glarin continuity goofs and a few poor performances blight an otherwise solid tour-de-fist of over-the-top Kuala Lumpur gangland warfare. For those unfamiliar with the territory - no, we don't get tattooed Malay hoods runnin through Chinatown with two pistols and a suitcase in midday. Velvet blazers for that quintessential nouveau rich look are a tropical no-no as well.

Perennial wonderment:

Adiputra's muscular turn as the enigmatic gangster Jai (with unlit cigarette, below) takes the top prize for best actin but I'm quite concerned as to how the man is doin right now. In an appearance at a Malaysian shoppin mall not too long ago with co-stars Aaron Aziz and Adam Corrie to promote the flick, he lost a lot of weight and looked rather jaundiced. Sure hope he'll be in more movies. 

Reminds me of:

I can't remember if I cried:

"Lawan gua bukan dua orang
tapi dua lori."

When Zizan Raja Lawak, the movie's singular point of comic relief, says: "Gua mau beli banglo besar kat depan tu, tapi takde budget pasal gua dah beli TV plasma ni dengan tali pinggang ni." (literally "I want to buy that big house over there but I'm quiet broke because I already bought this plasma TV and this belt."). There are plenty of memorable one-liners in this movie and the people at Skop Productions can be credited for an interestin marketin approach on Facebook which had them settin up multiple fan pages just for these lines.

Watch out for:
Anythin Zizan Raja Lawak says or does is absolutely original and hilarious. He won't top this performance for a very long time.
Most memorable line:

Too many to pick from.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

This movie gets my four stars and I paid cash money to watch it at a cinema twice to make sure Yusof Haslam's pockets are properly lined to shoot KL Gangster 2.★★★★

Trailer for the curious:

 Bonus material:

1996 Hong Kong material gets a 2011 Malay reupdate to the tune of RM 11.74 million. Why bother changin a winnin formula, eh?