Thursday, 2 May 2013

American Maniacs (2010)

Ashlynn Yennie: From human centipede to meth-head stripper.

Curtis Smith as retard Archie Crider,
the worst performance in the movie.
At a glance:
American Maniacs (originally titled Fetch) is described by the producers as a Kansas-set horror flick involvin sadistic ex-cons, corrupt cops, meth-addicted strippers and psychotic killers who keep flesh-eatin dogs. Please don't bother with the synopsis you may find on sites like IMDb because they're all misleadin marketin speak that makes the movie out to be a thriller of a horror. It has no such urgency! Anyway, when I read that it's written by Trent Haaga (Deadgirl) and stars Ashlynn Yennie (the most disadvantageous midsection of The Human Centipede) as a meth-head stripper teasingly named Starlene Arbuckle, I was kinda hopin it'll at least serve up some trashy R-rated fun.
Bad news on the doorstep:
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Shawn G. Smith as Punch.
Should've developed this villain.
Lousy screenplay, lousier script. No reward, no tension, no real reason to follow these characters at all, never mind their actin. Although the story is for the most part coherent, there are severely distractin flaws at every turn.
Perennial wonderment:
Can't understand why Trent Haaga movies like Deadgirl (2008),  Jessicka Rabid (2010), Someone's Knocking At The Door (2009) and Chop (2011) never feature a sympathetic character we can at least identify with, if not root for. To forgo one, you'd really have to make up for it with somethin wildly original.
I can't remember if I cried:
"Suck or I'll shoot!"
When I read the rant of a disgruntled extra on IMDb. Apparently, he drove a great distance to volunteer to stand in the snow until midnight but got told that the hot food is only for paid actors only. How petty can you get!
Watch out for:
John Redmond plays Sheriff Marcus Lewis, a dirty old man who likes to get sucked off by whores while his wheelchair-bound wife watches and gives pointers. For better or worse, this character also provides the sickest and only memorable moment of the film. It's a bizarre, life-endin act of sexual perversion that I can't wait to be repeated in a more competent movie.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Fetch was changed to the much more marketable American Maniac.
Awful timewaster but do give a listen to New Life by Gemma Ray. It plays at the end of the movie and turned out to be the only thing I'm takin away from this messy movie.1/2
Bonus material:

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Slim siren Ashlynn Yennie rocking the barely legal, titless look.

So much effort.