Mother's Day (2011)

At a glance:

Remember The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992)? Well, that hand is back again after 20 years, exactin similar menace in this B-grade horror-thriller starrin the now-wrinkled Rebecca de Mornay. We're invited to amuse ourselves in a web of deceit involvin a yuppie couple and their suitably varied dinner friends bein tortured for 112 minutes by a crazy mum and her unhinged kids, as noted by Charles Gant who wrote: "The perils of buying foreclosed properties are made painfully clear". It's a remake of the 1980 Kaufman brothers film of the same name, so it's no wonder that they also got cameos in this as mortgage brokers, after cashin in on their cheques.

Bad news on the doorstep:

What is odd though, is how Charles Kaufman reportedly said this film would be a shot-by-shot remake of Bergman's Virgin Spring (1960), as published on the new movie's official website. The unsettlin turns in the movie and also the surplus elements suggest that things may have been continuously rewritten on the go. But jeez man, how many characters were actually necessary? A circus of a cast, really.

Perennial wonderment:

If the movie is decidedly R rated, why not have some sex? Wouldn't have hurt none. There are some disturbin psychosexual anxieties between the characters that could've been elevated by some twisted sex scenes. Too much blood, too little cum.

Now ain't this a pretty mess.
Happy Mother's Day!

Reminds me of:
Secuestrados (2010), Trespass (2011) and all recent derivatives of the home invasion genre. Apparently, it's loosely based on a true life home invasion (Wichita Massacre), where brothers Reginald and Jonathan Carr went on a spree of murder, assault, rape and robbery against a home owner and his guests in 2000, goin down as one of the worst crimes in Kansas state history.

My hands were clenched in first of rage:

Deborah Ann Woll
plays the token white slut with a black boyfriend.

When I realised that the only reason I watched this film - Rebecca de Mornay - didn't really ante up. She has a commandin presence by virtue of her character but it doesn't attract the horror levels of monstrous mummy figures like Kathy Bates in Misery (1990), which I expected to be a key element for this movie to work. Subsequently, plenty of Saw (2004) decisions thrown in to muddy the proceedings, which should've just focused on the mad mama. Also, if you're watchin this for Jaime King, you're not gonna see too much from her.

Most memorable line:

Can't remember any in such a bloodbath.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Half star short of three because there's just so much content! The big studios don't agree, so this didn't get a wide released and is mostly condemned to DVD catalogues.

Trailer for the curious:

Reykjavík-Rotterdam (2008)

At a glance:

You'd probably never come across this one, unless you were seekin it out. Reykjavík-Rotterdam (2008) is the original movie that spawned that Hollywood remake starrin Mark Wahlberg, Contraband (2012). It's apparently the largest movie that was ever done in Iceland and stars a who's who of Iceland's finest, if only we bloody knew who those are. What we do know is that Baltasar Kormákur, the main actor in this movie, later returned as director for the Hollywood flick. The title basically refers to the plot - a smugglin run between two ports.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Lilja Nótt Þórarinsdóttir

Dammit I ain't seen me an Icelandic film for more than 10 years since 101 Reykjavík (2000) and this turned out pretty forgettable. Cineastes who seek out Óskar Jónasson's original hopin to catch a superior film will end up fairly disappointed - it's simpler, shorter and not much more fun. Mark Wahlberg had to drag himself through psychotic criminals and killer high seas for more than two hours but Baltasar Kormákur wraps it all up under 88 minutes. Make no mistake, it's definitely a remake - but it is unclear if one was expanded from the other or if deleted elements from the original were simply restored in the remake. The main difference is that Reykjavík-Rotterdam is about smugglin alcohol and Contraband goes for funny money. However, everythin else is similar, down to Kate Beckinsale's anonymous blonde role bein copied from Lilja Nótt Þórarinsdóttir's uneventful turn.
Perennial wonderment:
If Contraband was gonna be rated R anyway, why not throw in some titties? This Icelandic flick has got some trademark dry Scandinavian humour but sorely needed some grunge and spunk.
Reminds me of:

Leadin man Baltasar Kormákur (pic) reminds me of Bollywood badboy Emraan Hashmi. 

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Two and half. They sent it as Iceland's Oscars 2010 submission for Best Foreign Language Pic anyway. 

Trailer for the curious:

Bedazzzled (2000)

At a glance:

Elizabeth Hurley: Classical English beauty.

Fun adventure involvin one of Brendan Fraser's most endurin dweeb reincarnations, Elliot Richards, who sells his soul to the devil (necessarily played by the English hotness that is Liz Hurley) to get the girl of his dreams. Stupid and funny, without bein embarrassin. Makes me wanna try and find the 1967 original with Dudley Moore to see if he was any more pathetic than Fraser in this. I'm sure it can't be.
Watch out for:
The alleged 19 different 'devil' outfits that Hurley wears in the movie. Also reported is a scene where she apparently shows too much, while about to sit down at her desk. Don't remember it though.
Most memorable line:
Fraser as the overly-sensitive guy: "Mayo-nayo-naise. Swimmin by the sandy shore, dancing up among the waves, dolphin, dolphin I adore everything you are. You're so much more than a fish to me, my playful friend beneath the sea. (making dolphin noise) ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee." Pathetic.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Three and a half. Who doesn't like a bit of silly fun every now and then?