Crank: High Voltage (2009)

At a glance:Faster, sexier and crazier than the 2006 first, the cartoonish Jason Statham (pic) in this modern day exploitation flick sure is remininscent of the crazed goalkeeper he played in Mean Machine with Vinnie Jones. He does all manner of bizarre things to get himself excited, includin fuckin in the dirt on a horse racetrack and wearin an electric dog collar. He beats up people and gets beaten up just as often. He spends the whole movie escapin a loony whore (an unmistakably trashy Bai Ling) and rescuin his stripper girlfriend (Amy Smart from The Butterfly Effect). What's there not to like about this movie? There's even that guy (Efren Ramirez) with a condition called Full Body Tourette's Syndrome!
Bad news on the doorstep:
Some racial stereotypin will anger a few minorities but everythin is forgivable when you know it's an exploitation movie from the outset.
Perennial wonderment:
Can Amy Smart (pic) act? I can't be sure.
Reminds me of:Stone Island jackets. I wish the climate permitted.
Watch out for:
Pornstars Ron Jeremy, Jenna Haze and Lexington Steele. You can also catch a cameo by the late David Carradine, in case the unreleased movies he completed before he died earlier this year don't make it into distribution.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?I'll go for three and half stars. How many movies have an official website that makes you type a cuss word before it lets you in?

Transporter 3 (2008)

At a glance:
Third instalment of the Frank Martin franchise, driven all the way by one-man-GPS Mr. Jason Statham and his armoured Audi A8 W12. Better than the second but not the first, I think. We see our British all-action hero drive across a few European cities with a bomb strapped to his wrist and a freckled chick who can't stop talkin about food. Classical, enjoyable no-brainer.
Bad news on the doorstep:
I think a lot of Americans had trouble understandin Jason Statham's accent and of course Natalya Rudakova's East European hissin. François Berléand as French cop Tarconi doesn't help either. Robert Knepper is actually a pretty convincin generic villain but his lines are a bit too contrived considerin the superficiality of the story. Movie makes sense to Europe more than the U.S. definitely.
Perennial wonderment:
If Jason Statham will ever get to make a British movie again, considerin the slew of Hollywood horseshit he's been doin like In The Name Of The King and Rogue Assassin and to a lesser extent, Death Race.
Reminds me of:
Quantum Of Solace, except I think this is more enjoyable. One thing is certain, Frank Martin movies are doin more for Audi than James Bond movies are for Austin Martin. Also, Rudakova is more memorable in this than Olga Kurylenko ever was in Quantum.
Watch out for:
Frank Martin suited and booted, ridin on a BMX and outpedallin a speedin Audi. Don't you just wish you could do it, too?
Most memorable line:
Valentina: I vant to feel ze sex one more time before I die.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Three solid stars for a movie that knows what it is.