Gamer (2009)

Amber Valetta and Gerard Butler.

At a glance:
Death Race meets Gladiator with hints of Run Lola Run fun, as Gerard Butler bulldozes and bamboozles us through more than two hours of explosions and dirty debris in a story about societal breakdown via technological advancement. Set in a not-too-distant future where people can control other people on a empire-like gamin environment, we follow how unwillin action hero John Tillman is a death row inmate given a shot at escape by winnin an live action online game called Slayers in which he is known as Kabel. However, other forces like evil media mogul and gamemaster Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall), ratings-obsessed talk show host Gina Parker Smith (Kyra Sedgwick) and a rebel group leader (Ludacris) come into play to force a clashin of sorts.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Not even 300 more Gerard Butlers could save this movie from being a mildly amusin, below average shoot-em-up pinned down by fast visuals with low engagement.
Perennial wonderment:
If I could beat Gerard Butler in a game of House Of The Dead. I probably could.
Watch out for:
Highlight performance by TV's Dexter, Michael C. Hall, as the maniacal villain who did somethin screenworthy with his enourmous presence and a crazy musical sequence (I've Got You Under My Skin) reminiscent of Alex and A Clockwork Orange. Also, small roles for Milo Ventimiglia (Pathology), Alison Lohman (Drag Me To Hell) and John Leguizamo (Ice Age 3), not to mention a prominent paradin of freckled beauty Amber Valletta, who plays Tillman's wife in funky, plastic sex suits. She sure reminds us of Peta Wilson in TV's La Femme Nikita. Rap star Ludacris also lives up to his name by providin a completely unbelievable and cliched turn as a rebel leader.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Somewhere within Gamer is a good story but unfortunately the dour actioner just comes off as a PC game gone wrong and got projected onto a theatre screen instead. One recent film that critics like to compare it to is the 2007 actioner The Condemned, starrin wrestler Steve Austin and footballer Vinnie Jones. Critical reception to that movie was overwhelmingly negative and reviews for this one has been shapin up the same way. Oh well, at least we get a glimpse of Kyra Sedgwick on the big screen once every two years, eh? ★★

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Alison Lohman gives her all in one of the funnest horror movies in recent times.

At a glance:
This must be the most intense supernatural horror I've seen in a Malaysian cinema since that seat creepily fell on me at GSC 1Borneo's openin in KK last year. Forget Marsha Wathanapitch and her Thai tits in Alone (2007). The closest thing to this level of intensity in recent memory must be that Brit slasher Eden Lake (2008). Story centres on a bank loan officer who refuses an old Romanian gypsy hag an extension, then fallin prey to her choice demon, a goat-like apparition called the Lamia, who takes turns with the old lady to chase her around for the whole show. It's a straightforward story, tinged with peculiar humour. Well done Sam Raimi! This is gonna give me mum at least a week of sleepless nights!

Bad news on the doorstep:
Although Alison Lohman (pic) does alright for this role, I don't think she's matured into the actress I'd fancy since I last saw her prepubescent tits in Matchstick Men (2003). Still, they hardly come any whiter. Hmm... wonder what happened to Jodhi May.
Watch out for:
The brilliant catfight scene in the car park. The outrageous coffin sequence at the wake is also memorable. CGI can be funny in spurts but most of the time effective. By the way, does anyone know the hot actress who plays the old lady's granddaughter?
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Despite the lack of any R-rated delights (unless you count the wet t-shirt in the rainy grave), this is wholesome adult entertainment you can unabashedly enjoy. Put this in the hands of the folks who made Creep Show. Wouldda been a blast. ★★★★
Bonus material:

Lorna Raver in excellent form for Drag Me To Hell (2009).