The Forbidden Girl (2013)

Luscious Jytte-Merle Böhrnsen goes batshit occult as The Forbidden Girl (2013).

At a glance:

They even managed a nipple on the poster!
You lucky little nipple you!

Marketed as "a supernatural 3D mystery thriller in the vein of Dracula and The Others", European Motion Pictures / Shoreline Entertainment's ambitious German product The Forbidden Girl (2013) is a dissonant mess that I suspect hardly got shopped, since they didn't even bother to complete buildin the official website. They did manage a DVD release though, so we do get to see it. It's a low-budget horror-fantasy in English and with a nipple or two thrown in, just like those old Italian flicks that have become a cult classic. The convoluted story centres on a young fella named Toby (Peter Gadiot) who is released from a nuthouse after several years and lands himself a job at an old castle, tutorin a nubile nympho named Laura (Jytte-Merle Böhrnsen in the titular role) who just happens to look exactly like the ex-girlfriend he lost to some mysterious werewolf creature ages ago. There's also an old lady (Jeanette Hain) in the house who gets younger by the day and her creepy loyal butler Mortimer (Klaus Tange) who likes to eat bugs and wield axes. Apparently Till Hastreiter, a TVC director who teaches low budget filmmakin in Third World countries for the cultural body Goethe, got the SFX guys from Martin Scorsese's Hugo (2012) to do this over three years in a self-built studio in a Berlin backyard.

Roger Tebb: "All love is forbidden from now until the day you die."

Bad news on the doorstep:

Beautifully photographed but sorely lackin an emotional centre, not to mention some jarrin elements that simply don't sit well together e.g. characters that seem to belong to different times and different cultures! The leadin lady Jytte-Merle Louisa Böhrnsen treats us to her topless delights every now and then but the movie is neither sexy nor sensual -- just a lot of meticulous framin and colour correction!

Perennial wonderment:

Is it true that there simply aren't enough 3D movies to fill all the word's 3D screens? A statement from the distributor insists that "even a moderate budget production has a very high chance of going theatrical in the U.S and the rest of the world now" when it comes to the lucrative new format and that's why they gambled on the movie. Hmm... that would explain why this movie scantly had a need to be in 3D !

Reminds me of:

Jytte-Merle Böhrnsen and Peter Gadiot in The Forbidden Girl (2013).

That other 3D horror dud, Dario Argento's Dracula (2013) reupdate. The story unfolds just as slow as that Nightwing movie Imaginaerum (2012).

I can't remember if I cried:

When I realised I had to rewind this from time to time because I keep zonin out of the conversations. There goes the night, havin watched yet another B-movie to torture myself.

Most memorable line:

"By your powers combined... I am Forbidden Girl!"

There are lines in this movie like "It's cool to try new things, right?" and "She does look like me -- only the hair sucks." Talk about turn-offs!

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Theatrical, talky and too much of an effort. The more interestin the visuals got, the further away from the story we drifted. Should be cut up and despatched as multiple Marilyn Manson music videos. However, I wouldn't go so far as to say it's unwatchable. Special mention goes to makeup artist Emilia Seifert.★★
Bonus material:

The Tall Man (2012)

Jessica Biel can actually act a bit. Who wouldda thunk?

Samantha Ferris plays a mum
whose boyfriend beds her daughter too.

At a glance:

The Tall Man (2012) was written and directed by the same fella behind Martyrs (2008), so that made me put it on the watch list. This Pascal Laugier guy must be like the classier French version of M. Night Shyamalan, considerin how much he likes to do movies with one big central twist. Now unlike movies like The Village (2004) or The Sixth Sense (1999), the enjoyment of Laugier's films do not pivot on the incredulity of the twist. Dissociatin this story from Slender Man mythos, Laugier introduces us to several characters in a rundown white trash town blighted by missin children, firin up what appears to be a standard slasher horror, only for it to simmer down into some sort of philosophical parentin, socioeconomic dilemma. It's in no danger of goin down as ground-breakin material but it does feature Jessica Biel in what must be her most demandin dramatic role since the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) days when all she needed to do was walk around in a sweaty, see-through top.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Thankfully avoidin the alien invasion route (e.g. The Tommyknockers, 1993 or Dreamcatcher, 2003) which would've been very predictable and annoyin, this story is well-paced and crafted to play with your expectations. Variety's Geoff Berkshire summarised well: "Welcome echoes of the work of Stephen King and TV's The X-Files increase suspicion that something supernatural is afoot, and Laugier keeps teasing that possibility until the very end" but concludes that horror fans lookin for some old-fashioned scares are likely to feel cheated from the movie. The French - trust them to screw it up! Ha.

Perennial wonderment:

If you've decided you've read too much already and don't wanna bother with the movie, just click on this link to a Ben Affleck movie and the twist will dawn upon you...

Reminds me of:

The Village (2004) but that's not the twist, don't worry.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

All is not lost. This can make a good date movie and delightful conversation fodder later. You're likely to find this only on DVD or VOD now, since it only had a token theatrical release.★★

Bonus material:

William B. Davis, the Cancer Man on TV's X-Files, has a small role in The Tall Man (2012).

Beautiful Kate (2009)

Sophie Lowe finds love in all the wrong places in Beautiful Kate (2009).

She'll remind you of Saoirse Ronan in
The Lovely Bones (2009).

At a glance:

Some family secrets are more criminal than terrible, as we reluctantly learn from actress Rachel Ward's directorial debut Beautiful Kate (2009), an accomplished Aussie mystery thriller that could've done with a more effective title. I've been lookin for similar stuff havin wet my beak with Snowtown (2011) and Animal Kingdom (2010), not to mention I've developed an interest in Ben Mendelsohn's CV since he starred as Daggett in The Dark Knight Rises (2012). This one's about a rugged writer (Mendelsohn) who returns to the family farm after some 20 years just to visit his dyin dad (Bryan Brown) but finds himself lingerin in his repressed guilt over his dead siblings. Our protagonist remembers all to well the untimely death of his twin sister (Sophie Lowe) and brother (Josh McFarlane) when they were all backwater brats. Fortunately, there's a survivin daughter, Sally (Rachel Griffiths), who remains filial to the bedbound bastard - a grumpy old man who's takin his failures and resentment to his grave but not before givin his son hell.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Ben Mendelsohn and Maeve Dermody.

I read that native viewers took exception to how the rural folks speak but I think what sapped some power out of the picture was the diminishin focus on Mendelsohn as the movie wore on. His emo downtime came up short and our connection to the character is interrupted. I'm guessin the narrative tone of the 1982 Newton Thornburg book from which it was adapted is such? More landscape, less love? Wouldda been awesome if we could just invest in the main character more.

Perennial wonderment:

Will I ever figure out the difference between yabbies, crayfish, crawfish and lobsters? I'm not even sure what I've been eatin for a tenner at the local Chinese every week.

Reminds me of:

Affliction (1997), The Lovely Bones (2009), Somersault (2004) and The Cement Garden (1993). Not the most upliftin stories, are they?

Most memorable line:

"She's an actress. She doesn't wear clothes." Our protag pokes fun at his spoilt nympho girlfriend (Maeve Dermody). She's the sort who professedly exaggerates her moans durin doggy style sex and complains that she's only a whore because she's bein fucked like one. The needy always fuck face to face, no? I recall Sergio Castellitto and Claudia Gerini's tender scene in Don't Move (2004).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

It finishes as a dreary drama made worse by an overused, though excellent soundtrack. The epilogue also does smack of self-importance and there's a certain conceit to the way the camera lingers around the characters. Still, it's a compellin rural tale built on no small measure of effort and you'll find it very palatable for mature audiences game for some disturbia.★★★
Bonus material:

Can you have sex while staring directly at your parents' pictures?

I don't think you can see what they're up to from here.

Pleased to see me?

L-R: Ben Mendelsohn, Brian Brown, Rachel Griffiths, Maeve Dermody.

The Dead Girl (2006)

Rose Bryne plays a long-grieving sister in The Dead Girl (2006).

At a glance:

Kerry Washington plays a lesbian hooker.
Not a very flattering shot, though.

Sometimes when I'm reminded of Brittany Murphy's sudden demise, I think of two things. One would be her boinkin Eminem at the car factory in 8 Mile (2002). The other would be her titular role in The Dead Girl (2008), somethin that will forever be a chillin irony after her tragic death in December 2009. Karen Moncrieff's The Dead Girl is a disturbingly powerful vignette piece about a dead girl and five women who are connected in some way or another to her. The Stranger (Toni Collette) is the awkward daughter of an abusive mother who finds empowerment when she finds the titular corpse. The Sister (Rose Byrne) is a depressed forensics student who tries to find closure by insisting that the corpse is that of her lost sister. The Wife (Mary Beth Hurt) is the thankless murderer's wife who almost reports her husband to the authorities but for a change of heart. The Mother (Marcia Gay Harden) is a clueless middle-class woman who cannot understand why her dead daughter left home even before she was killed; and finds some answers via a whore who used to live with her daughter. Lastly, The Dead Girl is a young woman who is shown to live a blameless life just days before she meets her grisly end. No - it's not a horror. It's not a murder thriller either. It's a beautifully restrained character study that benefits from a stellar cast and their solid performances. Flyin in the face of the adage ‘the dead tell no tales', this movie asks the questions nobody likes to hear; all through the cinematic device of a motionless corpse. Contrasted against a wasteland of a backdrop, we see characters and their motives - some noble, some ugly; but always unflinchingly realistic. It's the sort of movie that finds appreciation only through what we want to understand and derive from it.

Marcia Gay Hayden

Bad news on the doorstep:
Of course, what we understand and derive from it will always be contingent on the emotional force that drives it. Herein The Dead Girl suffered from the age-old censorship bug when I first viewed it in 2008 under Cathey-Keris' banner in Malaysia. The full texture of the film has been compromised by the cuttin of scenes instrumental to conveying the bleakness of the subject matter at hand.

Perennial wonderment:

What did happen to Brittany Murphy? Widower died at the same house, too. It had somethin to do with toxic mould, they said.

Mary Beth Hurt

Reminds me of:

Jindabyne (2006), The Invisible (2007), The Burning Plain (2008) and Brick (2005).

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Thankfully, the strength of its performances survives this. I cannot think of a single poor movie with Toni Collette in it - this one just improves the statistic. Hers is just one of five characters and the rest of the cast are, pardon the pun, dead solid. Permeatin the emotional undercurrent is also a well-chosen music score to bring out the best in that sun-bleached, dry discomfort of L.A. backcountry. There is little more you can ask from The Dead Girl, except maybe another five stories from this excitin director. Maybe this time we could be spared the veiled feminism though, eh?★★★
The day the music died:

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy
(November 10, 1977 – December 20, 2009)

Brittany Murphy at The Dead Girl World Premiere and AFI Special Presentation
at AFI FEST 2006 / The Loft in Los Angeles, California.