The Viral Factor (2012) @ 逆战

How come Liu Kai Chi always plays a crippled loser?

At a glance:

Dante Lam continues to make ambitious but underwhelmin movies while cuttin corners and keepin the Chinese action-junkies placated for the Dragon New Year. Hazmat hocus-pocus, RNA mumbo-jumbo, Nicholas Tse jumpin off KTM buildin, Jay Chou dodgin RPGs in Jordan, joke policemen runnin around KL Sentral speakin textbook full Malay with Chinese accents, CGI explosions whenever possible, emo downtime whenever possible, everyone speakin to each other in five different languages. Yeah, that sorta thing. 

Bad news on the doorstep:

All of the above. And oh, Jay Chou's two-tone face of stone.

Gay Chou in army gear.

Perennial wonderment:

How many movies have you seen Liu Kai Chi play a crippled loser? And oh, how many of you know about Carl Ng, the Eurasian model-actor who has appeared in so many different kinds of Hollywood, European and Hong Kong films throughout his colourful career?

Reminds me of:

Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh doin that helicopter and bike scene in KL for Police Story 3: Supercop (1992).

I can't remember if I cried:

When I giggled too hard as me mate Bob asked me in the cinema, how does a curly long blonde Nicholas Tse sneak in and out of so many police stations in KL unnoticed, wearin a fluorescent Hawaiian shirt?

Most memorable line:

Chopper 1, please follow Chopper 2 and Chopper 3 because we have lost contact with Chopper 4. Or somethin like that. Hilarious. The height of Malaysian police tactical radio communication.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Two stars, one for each hour of toilin. US$ 17mil of Albert Yeung money flushed down the annals of meaningful cinema. Jackie Chan, please come back. Dante Lam, please revisit Beast Stalker (2008) and Stool Pigeon (2010).

Trailer for the curious:

The Treasure Hunter (2009) @ 刺陵

At a glance:
Kevin Chu's Treasure Hunter is basically how The Mummy gets an Asian treatment as Taiwanese tomb raiders go to Mainland China and frolic about in the deep desert to cook up some Indiana Jones adventure. To drive the picture, the Kung Fu Dunk director re-teams with regional pop prince Jay Chou and ropes in supermodel-turned-actress Lin Chi Ling, who finds time among boutique launches to star in another big picture after debutin in John Woo's Red Cliff.
Bad news on the doorstep:
I fell asleep watchin this. At least two abang photographer were snorin loudly at the Malaysian press preview. Can't decide if Storm Warriors is worse.
Perennial wonderment:
Poor Jay Chou. Fans mother him and keep him protected; his crossover pet project as a big screen actor has not been easy, considerin most older audiences won't give him the time of day. Since his relatively successful turn in Secret, the talented musician can't get any respect for starrin in Kung Fu Dunk and nobody likes the fact that he's Kato in the upcomin Green Hornet either instead of Stephen Chow. Media spotlight is heavy on a such a marketable star and many say the man (with a facial expressions range that is notoriously limited) ought to stick to what he knows best. Perhaps it's then a case of low expectations because Mr. Chou does manage to do better this time around. He has at least added one more broodin angle to his repertoire of looks as a devil-may-care, bike-ridin cowboy drifter who's also the guardian of an ancient city. Sadly, this movie is simply too derivative to be interestin.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?Perhaps in territories like China where the influx of Hollywood movies are capped and governed by law, everyone will think that Jay Chou crackin a whip is the birth of a new hero icon. The rest are probably just happy that he didn't spot a fedora. One and a half stars.