Stuck (2007)

Mena Suvari plays a hard-partying nurse who hits a bum note.

At a glance:

If you have an academic interest in the oeuvre of Stuart Gordon, the man behind movies like Re-Animator (1985), Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989), Edmond (2005) and King Of The Ants (2003), then Stuck (2007) should strike some accord with you. It has that kind of otherworldly grim humour to it, despite bein a dramatisation of the 2001 true story of Chante Jawan Mallard, the convicted Texan black woman who had hit a white bum on the road and left him lodged at the windscreen, as she drove home, parked the car in her garage and proceeded to have sex with her boyfriend, as if nothin had happened. Reportedly the grisly truth only came to light four months later when she bragged about havin "hit this white man" at a party. That's when the long arm of the law started to catch up with her sorry arse. Many reviews of this film have pointed out that Mena Suvari's character is much more intelligent than the real person and you tend to agree. The absence of malice doesn't make somethin any less a crime and this flick discusses the culpability of any well-meanin person who finds himself quickly losin control when put in a sticky situation.

Mena Suvari in an unhelpful, protracted sex scene.

Bad news on the doorstep:

This isn't your high-octane action-thriller, if you thought it was. Stephen Rea gives a constrained performance as the poor victim of a hit-and-run and it's easy to root for him amidst the spirallin injustice. Mena Suvari turns in a suitable white trash portrayal with her ghetto braids but shouldn't have agreed to a protracted sex scene that didn't help the story, although pervs like me have waited for this since she last did the nasty with Kevin Spacey in American Beauty (1999). The biggest culprit here is Russell Hornsby, whose take on a scaredy-cat drug dealer is overacted and takes some some tension away.

Stephen Rea

Perennial wonderment:

You might remember this already bein referenced in a Law And Order episode on TV. Bollywood had an authorised remake too: Accident On Hill Road (2009) with Celina Jaitley and Farooque Shaikh. Everyone wants a piece, eh?

Most memorable line:

"Is he dead?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
This is a nice surprise, especially if you fancy the B-movie tone. Situational morality at work, no need for forceful self-reflection. Compellin character arcs. Variety's Joe Leydon called it "a sardonically edgy pic". By the way, the real life perp will be eligible for parole in 2027. But you don't need to wait for her to get the DVD now.★★★
Bonus material:

Chante Mallard: 50 years in the pen

Bronson (2008)

Tom Hardy goes full frontal as Charles Bronson.

At a glance:

When Tom Hardy isn't beatin Batman to a pulp in The Dark Knight Rises (2012) or beatin Channing Tatum to a pulp in Warrior (2011) or beatin mythical monsters to a pulp in Minotaur (2006), he's beatin prison guards to a pulp in Bronson (2008), a stylised, comical and surreal biopic of Charles Bronson. Not the similarly bemoustached American actor in Western flicks, mind you, but the incorrigible problem prisoner that has gained international attention as Britain's most violent detainee. Born Michael Gordon Peterson, the bane (sorry, couldn't resist) of all correctional facilities across England has a well-documented life behind bars (30 years in solitary confinement!), stretchin decades and formin a catalogue of wonderful ball-breakin material to work with. He's still in jail as far as I know and has Danish filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn to thank for fuellin his narcissism. Fans of his Drive (2011) and his powerful Pusher films will attest to the director's precision in filmmakin.

Matt King in a standout supportin performance
as a mastermind poof.

Bad news on the doorstep:

It's a first person narrative play, you know. You might not like the drollery if you thought this was Un Prophète (2009) meets Chopper (2000). Bronson is portrayed as an inarticulate, attention-seekin slab of muscle with a penchant for theatrics. His excesses are crude, futile and disaffectin to watch. However, a resplendent Tom Hardy does give a very disturbin intensity to him - an underclass anti-hero who just doesn't seem to know any better. Your views on crime and punishment will come into play when relatin to such a crass character, which in turn may determine just how much you enjoy the film.

"You shouldn't mess with boys bigger than you."

Perennial wonderment:

Can someone like this be helped? I'd buy ol' Charlie some nasi kukus ayam berempah and maybe he'd lighten up a little, after so many years under Her Majesty's Pleasure.

Reminds me of:

I don't know. How many ex-cons do I know who's also a Moslem apostate (Charles Ali Ahmed), post office robber, exercise book author, bare-knuckle boxer, Tesco worker, painter and cartoonist? Is it any surprise that he's apparently also a friend of the Kray twins?

"Fancy a cup of British char?"

I can't remember if I cried:

Go visit the official website where they tell you Charles Bronson has been in jail since 1974 for stealin £26.18. He's only still inside because he keeps fightin back and not because that's the sentence for petty theft. Still it's agonisin to read such a summary. I also felt a strange despair watchin Bronson's zoned-out girlfriend Allison (Juliet Oldfield) dump him for havin no ambition. I guess that's Tom Hardy's talent, herein proven to be a commodity that's beyond the 100 pounds of muscle he put on for the role.

Most memorable line:

Nothin he says particularly stands out but the throwback soundtrack really hits all the right notes. It includes the Walker Brothers' The Electrician and Pet Shop Boys' It's A Sin - definitely worth a download.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

★★★ 1/2 for an innovative, unexpected approach. Variety's John Anderson notes that Bronson has cult hit written all over it and that gleeful brutality and intellectual mischief have become the bloodstained callin cards of Nicolas Winding Refn while Film Four's Jonathan Crocker says he has framed this anti-biopic of Britain’s most notorious prisoner as a 21st century Clockwork Orange (1971), damned near pullin it off. Well, here's one for the Sorry True Stories tab, eh. So, when's a Mike Tyson biopic gonna be made?
Bonus material:

"Why so serious?"

The Intouchables (2011) @ Intouchables

Magic negro + marijuana + slutty Asian masseuses = A happy quadriplegic?

At a glance:

Havin reportedly come in second recently for most attended French movie of all time in France, this neat little drama about a rich white invalid and his poor black help has made the Weinstein Company so very happy that they've put dibs on a Hollywood remake as well. So before you see obvious replacements Dustin Hoffman and Will Smith goofin around a wheelchair next summer, why not see the original first? There's 112 minutes of  a jobless Senegalese man called Driss (Omar Sy) who goes to a job interview dressed like a gangbanger and unexpectedly ends up in a remarkable friendship with hoity-toity Philippe (Francois Cluzet) as they make fun of class and culture.

The wonderful freckled French beaut
that is Audrey Fleurot.
- 37th Cesar Film Awards
at Theatre du Chatelet, Paris.
24 Feb 2012

Bad news on the doorstep:

Intouchables has an all too obvious example of a magical negro at work, so it's no wonder that some American reviewers, like Jay Weissberg at Variety, called it offensive and "may seduce unthinking auds with an infectious breeziness". I guess there's no real defence to that because it's actually true - but I also believe that perhaps one ought to pay the devil his due when a movie so offends but one isn't embarrassed to enjoy it. Driss makes fun of Vivaldi, Faberge eggs, opera performances and even Philippe's disability in the most insensitive ways but the poor man laughs along as because - hey, let's face it - it's actually funny. That's the kind of winsome chemistry at work here. Intouchables has formulaic feel-good frivolity drippin off its movie poster, shamelessly executin one cheap laugh after another but by golly me do you like how these two characters play off each other. Nevermind that the real-life character of Driss was an Algerian - the idea works.

Perennial wonderment:

You can do further readin on the actual persons from which this movie was inspired. Quite an amazin story.

Reminds me of:

Philippe's admin assistant Magalie is played by Audrey Fleurot, a buxom babe that reminds me of Gemma Arterton's Strawberry Fields character who helped James Bond locate his, er, missin stationery in Quantum Of Solace (2008). Wish there were more Hollywood exposure for her.

"Are you seriously gonna pay €30,000 for this nosebleed?"

I can't remember if I cried:

In the final scenes, Philippe is predictably given a wonderful surprise by his magic negro. The look on the old man's face is priceless and this is definitely teardrop territory. I saw this at an advanced screenin with the French consulate at Cineplex Odeon Varsity and filmmakers Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano were at hand to elaborate: "When we went to see the real Philippe, he said okay we can have his story but we must make it a comedy. He didn't want people to cry. Still, you all cried."

Watch out for:

Omar Sy's muscular dance floor antiques while Earth, Wind & Fire's 'Boogie Wonderland' plays. White guys can't dance, it's true. For the record, Omar Sy took Best Actor at the 37th César Awards against Jean Dujardin in The Artist, so that should pique your interest.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Good date movie for anyone seekin to impress their date with somethin foreign yet accessible. ★★★ 1/2

Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

This young lady stood around admirin posters instead of queuin up
and so paid the price of gettin lousy seats.
- Cineplex Odeon Varsity, Toronto. Photo taken 15 May 2012.

Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano being interviewed by local critic Richard Crouse as the end credits rolled.

These two were comedians!

- Cineplex Odeon Varsity, Toronto. Photo taken 15 May 2012.

Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd (2012)

"What? You mean some other joker is already famous
for robbing banks with face paint on?"

At a glance:
A decidedly indie Canadian product made by Canadians and starrin mostly Canadians, about the true life story of a Canadian bloke who went from war vet bus driver to wannabe actor and accomplished bank robber in 1949. The eldest son of a police officer, this slippery son of Toronto with two jailbreaks under his belt was Edwin Alonzo Boyd - and as I understand it, not that widely known among locals after all. In an interview, Canadian main cast member Kevin Durand said he didn't know about the Boyd Gang prior to his involvement. The movie trailer plays Boyd up a flamboyant, tapdancin rogue who flirts with the blushin tellers, but conceivably he and his band of miscreants were actually responsible for the biggest bank robbery of all time in Toronto. In fact, their unprecedented manhunt, escapes and arrests became the subject of the first news report on CBC TV.

"Are you sure nobody will make a movie about our scandalous
extra-marital affair and embarrass our grandchildren?"

Anyway, Boyd's story had been told before in the TV movie The Life And Times Of Edwin Alonzo Boyd (1982) starrin Gordon Pinsent but it was in 1995 that Toronto uni student Nathan Morlando contacted the real Edwin Boyd for biopic aspirations. They apparently developed a phone relationship and after 15 years, last week the husband-and-wife team of debutant director Morlando and producer Allison Black were at hand to see the Canadian general release of Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd (2012) after its debut at the Toronto International Film Festival last year.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Hey, you know it's pretty hard for me not to sing praises about any half decent gangster flick that comes my way, especially one about a real life criminal with folk hero qualities. However, as I watched this at the Lightbox on openin night with the filmmakin duo in attendance for a little Q & A, it dawned upon me that Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd was only half the movie it could've been.

Canadian actor Scott Speedman is Edwin Boyd, Toronto's slipperiest son.
The director says he actually looks like Edwin Boyd.

Despite a classy muted colour scheme to lend credence to the period detail, what he have here is an uneven crime drama, diluted by the dynamics of undue heed paid to various parts of Morlando's homework that he selected i.e. the uneasy focus on supportin characters when Speedman's Boyd was already in danger of appearin too pedestrian. The titular character had authority and looked great in the trailer but suffers from havin to have to share too much of the spotlight with other people who muddy the proceedings and have us askin what's so great about Eddie Boyd in the first place?

The real Edwin Alonzo Boyd
(1914-2002)

Through some admission by the filmmakers, we learn of production compromises that were made, and now they had me reduced to guessin which relatives said no to what, as the story arc did less and less to help make Boyd larger than life, somethin one has legitimate expectations of from watchin the trailer. Morlando's depth of research has somehow failed to convert to its emotional equivalent onscreen and we are left with a labour of love that definitely reflected the filmmaker's ambitions but flawed by production exigencies that weren't only concernin its admittedly small budget.

Standout support from Kevin Durand as a villainous colleague.
Maybe he would've made a more memorable Boyd?

Perennial wonderment:

Did Boyd's kids effectively disowned him? In an interview with Morlando, he was quoted as sayin: “The way he [Boyd] talked about his bank robbing exploits, he was still very excited by it. But when I talked to him about his relationship with his children and his relationship with his ex-wife, he couldn’t hide behind the fun of the bank-robbing… You could see it in his eyes that there was incredible loss and regret.” Yet the daughter, Carolyn, seemed to have approved of the movie accordin to the filmmakers, who are in turn heavin a sign of relief. Morlando told the Lightbox openin crowd that it was her creative input behind the literal money-launderin scene.

"But darling, if you steal grocery, you can't get the air miles!"

Most memorable line:

This is what I mean. They didn't even give him some cool lines to say.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
At the end of the movie, we learn through title cards of Eddie's fate but not before an unusual sequence of events that would lead him to some form of bizarre redemption. These events, if they had only been featured in the slightest, would've possibly reconnected us to Boyd and given the picture a badly needed gloss of epic. Perhaps Liam Lacey's take is more mature than mine, as he wrote: "In the Hollywood version, Edwin Boyd should have gone out in a hail of bullets and twitching limbs. Citizen Gangster deals him a more ignominious sentence: He is forced to become ordinary again." ★★ 1/2

Trailer for the curious:

Snowtown (2011)

All faggots die cruel deaths because God doesn't like faggots,
except maybe Freddie Mercury and Elton John.

At a glance:

Gays, suspected gays, paedophiles, suspected paedophiles and the difference between them all: John Justin Bunting, convicted serial killer with 11 poor souls under his belt (a twelfth couldn't be proved), now correspondingly servin 11 life sentences without the possibility for parole. There's a lot of drug addicts, cross-dressers, incestuous wastrels and morbidly obese foul-mouthed people, too. This powerful Australian movie is a dramatic account of what is referred to as the Snowtown murders, told through the eyes of James Vlassakis, a young man who was apparently slowly drawn into the killings but later turned witness for the prosecution. This movie was released reportedly only after a judge lifted the remainin suppression orders that kept the case details confidential. It's got some seriously nauseatin scenes of bizarre, extreme and unnecessary violence, which include choppin up dead kangaroos (unsimulated).

Lucas Pittaway as James Vlassakis.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Two whole hours of mostly mood might be a big ask for some people. I actually went a full half hour thinkin this is a movie about the depressed Aussie underclass and what they have for breakfast. And why is there so much smokin in this movie? There seems to be an embarrassment of cigarette shots even. No wonder one of the characters died of cancer in real life.

Perennial wonderment:

How the hell did the main guy cry so well? That's some seriously committed mucous right there. This Lucas Pittaway bloke is really somethin and so is the debutin director, Justin Kurzel.

Daniel Henshall as John Bunting.

Reminds me of:

The white underclass I used to hang out with. Didn't meet any serial killers, though.

Most memorable line:

"Do you like bein' fucked? Do you like bein' fucked? So why not do somethin' about it? 'Cause all I ever see you do is sook, mate. No? What didjah do about Jeffrey? Fuckin' nothin'. You see me and Robert mopin' about? Hmm? No you don't because you do that they fuck you forever. You don't want that, do you? When are you gonna grow some balls, mate?"

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Painstakin watch with a methodology that was a payoff in itself. Give it some time. Study relationships and landscape. O sweet, sweet terror.★★★1/2

Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Here's a photo of the real John Bunting.
When he was young, his favourite pastime was
said to be burnin insects in acid.

Auto Focus (2002)

At a glance:

Memorable improvised biopic about sex addict TV actor Bob Crane, star of the American 60s hit comedy series Hogan's Heroes. Movie starts off cheerfully enough with Bob (played by Greg Kinnear) leadin a healthy, successful life then he met and made friends with a video technician (Willem Dafoe) who would form a sexploitative relationship with him as they became obsessed with filmin themselves boinkin women and keepin records of their conquests.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Some will say it's offbeat, uninspirin and trivial. It can be rather depressin due to the gloomy texture of the film in the last act or so and I wouldn't recommend it to viewers lookin for a feel-good film. This is a film about a man who destroyed himself and did not have the chance for redemption.

Perennial wonderment:

Why has Greg Kinnear never gone to the next level of Hollywood stardom? I've always felt that Greg Kinnear is an under-rated actor who really deserves more roles in Hollywood A-List movies. He has an amazin intensity to him which permeates and ebbs well with the flow of this film. His portrayal of Bob Crane here is impressive and there are many scenes where the bleakness of his life just spoke through his eyes, behind those 70s tinted glasses.

No white shirt ever looked better on a woman
since Alex Menesis in Auto Focus (2012).

Watch out for:

Willem Defoe playin Crane's sex-crazed sidekick. He's always done well with twisted, destructive characters, hasn't he? However I must confess that the only reason why I first bought this film was to catch a glimpse of the adorably dirty Maria Bello (Coyote Ugly fame) as Crane's on-set lover and later wife.
I can't remember if I cried:
As this is not a thriller by any account I will tell you that Bob Crane met an unexpected end at the hands of a an unknown murderer in his room as he was sleepin and this remains one of Hollywood's most perseverin unsolved homicides. Did some readin and it appears that the events that are shown on the film are mostly improvisational and that Crane's second family had dismissed it altogether. In any case, Paul Schraeder (writer of Taxi Driver and director of Affliction and Raging Bull) has made a very interestin account on his life here.

Most memorable line:

A day without sex is a day wasted.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Great that it wasn't overdone. Love the bits of video entertainment history. Useful sleaze. ★★★1/2
Trailer for the curious:

Maria Larsson's Everlasting Moments (2008) @ Maria Larssons Eviga Ögonblick

At a glance:
Sweden's proud submission for Best Foreign Language Pic at this year's Academy Awards, Maria Larsson's Everlasting Moments really do seem to last forever, clockin a 131-minute runtime filled with socialist sentiments, early photography techniques and a whole lot of 1900s alcoholism, infidelity and domestic violence. Not to be confused as the biopic of a current Swedish politician, the oft-reviewed period drama is a semi-rewardin foray into the true story of a laundry woman livin in those times who won a camera in a lottery and pursued the art of masterin the curious contraption as a hobby, despite her surroundin poverty and matrimonial problems.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Perhaps due to it being an adaptation from research and interviews conducted between the director's wife and the daughter of the 19th century woman, a story as real as Maria Larsson's will give rise to uneven attention bein paid to a whole volume of events, especially without an expert touch. Director Jan Troell's product is a subtle drama without much darkness or humour, resultin in an insightful but ultimately mediocre experience in terms of full-epic impact.
Reminds me of:
Angela's Ashes (1999) with Robert Carlyle.
Watch out for:

Director Jan Troell

The titular lead played by Maria Heiskanen is half the strength of the film, a character which other reviewers have described as bein afforded an Imelda Staunton-like portrayal with equal ease in carryin angst and tenderness. However a much more visually-arrestin character is her drunkard wife-beater of a husband Sigfried, played by a faultless Mikael Persbrandt (pic). You know a good actor when you fail to hate his character despite him doin some truly horrendous things. The other prominent part is photo shop enthusiast Sebastian Pedersen (Jesper Christensen), who plays a kind man fuellin Maria's love for the lens and ends up fallin for her.
Most memorable line:
This is what I mean by the lack of epic strength. Can't think of one.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Perhaps this is an eye-opener to study his other works such as The Emigrants, Here's Your Life, Hamsun and The New Land. For now this is a two and a half star effort.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Maria Heiskanen says... smile!!!

Public Enemies (2009)

"What does zit mean, zis word, moll, Johnny?"

At a glance:
Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and Marion Cotillard in the same movie? It's a biopic about a violent Depression Era gangster? Bring it on!
Bad news on the doorstep:
It's a 140-minute struggle to care about a bank robber who, although played with some measure of suave and swagger by the chameleonic Johnny Depp (check out the pickup lines he gets!) it suffers from an uneven, peculiar narrative style. We just can't couldn't give a toss about John Dillinger - whom musta been helluva more interestin than this damn movie. Hell if it didn't finish strong, I might even have hated it. On the whole, it just seems like a whole lot of A-list stars just decided to appear in a B-grade flick. Michael Mann - why laa?
Perennial wonderment:
Of whether Marion Cotillard can finally go Hollywood has been solved! Yay. Her English comes off odd, though.
Reminds me of:
The Untouchables (1987) and Lonely Hearts (2006). Hell if they made it just a little goofier, I wouldda thought of Bugsy Malone (1976).
Watch out for:

The bedroom scenes between Cotillard and Depp and tell me how they were because I sure as hell didn't see me none at TGV Bukit Tinggi in Klang where I caught this. I'm surprised this movie even made it to Malaysia.
Most memorable line:
The one about his favourite things in life.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
A gangster movie has either gotta have lotsa class or lotsa intensity - this one has neither. Will see if I can get the 1991 TV film Dillinger (or even better the 1973 one) and see if they're any better. This movie didn't teach us too many things, except that Billy Crudup, who was Dr Manhattan in Watchmen (2009), does a good J. Edgar Hoover impersonation. Aah... who's gonna make the next L.A. Confidential (1997)? ★★★

I Am A Sex Addict (2005)

Caveh Zahedi is now a reformed sex addict.

At a glance:
Indulgent yet funny and effective autobiographical docudrama by one Caveh Zahedi, a creepy-lookin American of Iranian descent, who loves fuckin whores. Okay, loved fuckin whores. Maybe it's his shaky voice or his earnest eyes but the man can sure tell an interestin story about a tosser as unlikeable as himself. The narrative goes from funny to warm to heartbreakin, in an honest tale of convalescence and possibly even redemption.
Reminds me of:
Coupla chicken worms I know.
Watch out for:
Scenes of weird ass self-reflection. By this I don't mean checkin out your butthole in the mirror.
Most memorable line:
"At first I felt strangely euphoric, but then afterwards when I got home I felt lonely and empty."
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
It's a true story. Well-packaged. ★★★