Isolation (2005)

The traditional way of making beef jerky.

At a glance:

"Holy cow!" is the obvious, blasphemous and yet appropriate response to this very unrewardin movie. There are crowd-pleasin blockbusters and there are niche-market, art house indies. Then there are films like Isolation, ones that befuddle the human mind to no end.

Essie Davis gets to grace this poster.
Others I've seen feature Ruth Negga.

Bad news on the doorstep:

So befuddlin was it that it befuddled itself into the hearts of several film festival judges and won some mediocre horror movie awards even! How do we make heads and tails of this one? It's essentially a one-sentence movie - a full-length feature about a mutant cow foetus terrorisin an Irish farm. Oh wait – there's actually a few of them, but one was particularly difficult to capture. In any case, it's about Dan Reilly (John Lynch), an Irish farmer whom we are told is a little short on money. It soon transpires through Orla (Essie Davis), the vet, that together they have been workin for mad scientist John (Marcel Iures) in bizarre biological experiments involving cow-breedin. Meanwhile, a young couple (Sean Harris and Ruth Negga), runnin away from an unknown enemy, enters the fray when Dan experiences trouble with a calf and asks for help. Soon however, the fate of everyone on the farm becomes inextricably linked with a missin cow foetus.

Reminds me of:

The now-defunct Cathay-Keris distribution arm in Malaysia. When I watched this in 2007 under their limited release, this movie was showin at one solitary cinema nationwide, givin its film title the most fittin tribute ever.

I have no clue what's goin on here.

Or here.

I can't remember if I cried:

Havin such an unusual plot, this was bound to provide at least some shock entertainment, you'd think. So many things were out of place however, when shock turned to schlock within the first 30 minutes, the most frustratin being the characters which are so painfully disengagin. I couldn't be bothered if they died, lived, won the lottery or turned into lactatin mutant cows. With no real protagonists, coupled in with a claustrophobic settin, the appeal became very limited. The ecological arguments of genetic tamperin in this movie were already lost – not on merit, but attention – by the time the crawlin foeti stopped makin you go 'euww'.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Ruth Negga

There's one savin grace - the traditional FX. This would've been a straight-to-DVD feature if the cows were anywhere near digital. What we get to see is quite graphic – say, a vaginal checkup performed on a cow – and the details of the goo, gum, teeth and blood are a nice touch. Bein so stickily real, the movie however shot itself in the hoof (ha!) again when the screenplay didn't allow for a fuller view of the mutant cow in question. Well, it did teach me about how swingin a newborn calf around your head from its hind legs is supposed to accelerate blood flow to the heart. Moo-ving stuff, eh?★1/2
Bonus material:

Like this character, I was drowning in the movie.

The Tattooist (2007)

"So, can you really tattoo all the lyrics to Johnny Cash's Ring Of Fire around my anus?"

At a glance:

Remember this ambitious project that even had Singaporean premier Lee Hsien Loong at its Auckland launch with his then NZ counterpart Helen Clark? It was supposed to be the start of a sexy new Singapore-New Zealand deal for Eyeworks Touchdown and Mediacorp Raintree. Two pictures were announced, this Samoan-inspired yarn and next up was Altar, about an Asian child embryo ghost. I don't think it got that far.
Bad news on the doorstep:

Jason Behr & Mia Blake.

Local lad Peter Burger shot The Tattooist with only a few TV dramas to his directorial credit, while the boys who brought us Black Sheep (2006) wrote the story. I like tattoos, so one would think that fanboy enthusiasm would've added more spice to this story about an American guy who visits a tattoo expo in Singapore and steals a Samoan tattooin tool en route to New Zealand to learn more about the craft. Complete with possession, spirits, sex and Samoan rituals, the movie looks like a special interest winner on paper. However, onscreen it all goes pear-shaped. The audience cannot help but feel shortchanged when a horror movie is as half-hearted as this. The gore is substandard, the spooks are recycled and the sex isn’t even there. As far as special effects are concerned, there is nothing original about the movie. If anythin, the inked demon in The Tattooist looks inferior to the oiled demon in Orang Minyak (2007)!

Caroline Cheong doin her best impression of a CFM face.

Caroline Cheong appeared in this
movie and then slipped into oblivion.

Perennial wonderment:

Seems Jason Behr is incapable of appearin in a good movie. Malaysians who saw him last in B-grade vampire flick Skinwalkers (2006) would know what I mean. It was also a good thing that distributors put the plug on his D-War (2007) before the universally rubbished fantasy effort made its way to Malaysian screens. His two-tone face of stone has been stretched enough to feign the talent that he hasn’t got; and it's still lookin as bad as ever if you check out his CV on IMDb.

Reminds me of:

A New Zealand movie called The Ferryman (2007) but that was actually spooky.

"Err... Your twitching anus
is making it smudge."

Watch out for:

Caroline Cheong who used to play Lynette Khoo on Singaporean TV's popular Phua Chu Kang. What is she up to these days? Also, there's Mia Blake’s character, someone related to a gang of Samoans who hates any palagi (white man?) who wants to “get down with the brown”.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
The Tattooist has one advantage – it gives an insight into little-filmed New Zealand subculture. There seems to be a genuine attempt to get the details culturally correct and that lends a somewhat authentic feel to the movie. However, if you’re into hard-hittin stuff, you wouldn’t feel left out if you gave this a miss. Two and a half stars.

Trailer for the curious:

Mama's Guest (2004) @ مهمان مامان Mehmane Maman

"This cake, it is made from virgin juice. I marinated all night."

At a glance:

Iranian cinema vet Golab Abdineh plays the matriarch of a poor family. She's thrown into a tight spot - they have to welcome her policeman nephew and his bride but they haven't got a single morsel of food in the house! Like the old school Hitchcock movies, we're given a slow introduction to the characters, some of which include her cinema projectionist husband Yousef (Paras Pirouzfar), her naughty young son Amir, her daughter Bahareh (Melika Sharifinia), and neighbourin busybodies like a chemist (Amin Hayayee) and an old hag (Farideh Sepah Mansour). Simply to give the good colonel (he's just a sergeant, really) and his exquisite wife a feast, everybody puts their wits together and overcomes adversity in charmin ways. Not dissimilar to the Asian values of pride and "face" as incessantly repeated in the film, this tight-knit family is so enamoured with preparation and procedure that they become instantly likeable, although it may take longer than usual to relate to their culture of halvas and curious posters of bodybuilders on their walls.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Not for everyone, obviously.

Perennial wonderment:

When you watch a movie like Mama's Guest (2004) @ مهمان مامان Mehmane Maman, you'd realise why fast food culture in the 20th century completely destroyed the family as a unit of society. From the process of pickin out the freshest fish to peelin onions and boilin water, home cookin is one of the last bastions of family time that ensured everyone had somethin to do and somethin to talk to each other about. When you place a phone order for McDonald's Value Meals, that old time tradition becomes a bygone relic. That's why Mama's Guest is still a rewardin watch despite appearin very dated for a 2004 film.

Reminds me of:

Cookin pork feet in vinegar with me gran, God rest her soul. Of course, no pork was depicted in this movie about Moslem people.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Three stars. Mama's Guest is a New Year movie - fun and easy to watch. With quirky scenes like an operation on a goldfish to wife-beatin antics by a drug addict, one may find this movie to be just the sort of light entertainment that is interestin enough to stimulate Hollywood-hardened cinematic taste buds. For further readin, please see what this Mongoose guy wrote.

Trailer for the curious:

Mother's Day (2011)

At a glance:

Remember The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992)? Well, that hand is back again after 20 years, exactin similar menace in this B-grade horror-thriller starrin the now-wrinkled Rebecca de Mornay. We're invited to amuse ourselves in a web of deceit involvin a yuppie couple and their suitably varied dinner friends bein tortured for 112 minutes by a crazy mum and her unhinged kids, as noted by Charles Gant who wrote: "The perils of buying foreclosed properties are made painfully clear". It's a remake of the 1980 Kaufman brothers film of the same name, so it's no wonder that they also got cameos in this as mortgage brokers, after cashin in on their cheques.

Bad news on the doorstep:

What is odd though, is how Charles Kaufman reportedly said this film would be a shot-by-shot remake of Bergman's Virgin Spring (1960), as published on the new movie's official website. The unsettlin turns in the movie and also the surplus elements suggest that things may have been continuously rewritten on the go. But jeez man, how many characters were actually necessary? A circus of a cast, really.

Perennial wonderment:

If the movie is decidedly R rated, why not have some sex? Wouldn't have hurt none. There are some disturbin psychosexual anxieties between the characters that could've been elevated by some twisted sex scenes. Too much blood, too little cum.

Now ain't this a pretty mess.
Happy Mother's Day!

Reminds me of:
Secuestrados (2010), Trespass (2011) and all recent derivatives of the home invasion genre. Apparently, it's loosely based on a true life home invasion (Wichita Massacre), where brothers Reginald and Jonathan Carr went on a spree of murder, assault, rape and robbery against a home owner and his guests in 2000, goin down as one of the worst crimes in Kansas state history.

My hands were clenched in first of rage:

Deborah Ann Woll
plays the token white slut with a black boyfriend.

When I realised that the only reason I watched this film - Rebecca de Mornay - didn't really ante up. She has a commandin presence by virtue of her character but it doesn't attract the horror levels of monstrous mummy figures like Kathy Bates in Misery (1990), which I expected to be a key element for this movie to work. Subsequently, plenty of Saw (2004) decisions thrown in to muddy the proceedings, which should've just focused on the mad mama. Also, if you're watchin this for Jaime King, you're not gonna see too much from her.

Most memorable line:

Can't remember any in such a bloodbath.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Half star short of three because there's just so much content! The big studios don't agree, so this didn't get a wide released and is mostly condemned to DVD catalogues.

Trailer for the curious:

The Intouchables (2011) @ Intouchables

Magic negro + marijuana + slutty Asian masseuses = A happy quadriplegic?

At a glance:

Havin reportedly come in second recently for most attended French movie of all time in France, this neat little drama about a rich white invalid and his poor black help has made the Weinstein Company so very happy that they've put dibs on a Hollywood remake as well. So before you see obvious replacements Dustin Hoffman and Will Smith goofin around a wheelchair next summer, why not see the original first? There's 112 minutes of  a jobless Senegalese man called Driss (Omar Sy) who goes to a job interview dressed like a gangbanger and unexpectedly ends up in a remarkable friendship with hoity-toity Philippe (Francois Cluzet) as they make fun of class and culture.

The wonderful freckled French beaut
that is Audrey Fleurot.
- 37th Cesar Film Awards
at Theatre du Chatelet, Paris.
24 Feb 2012

Bad news on the doorstep:

Intouchables has an all too obvious example of a magical negro at work, so it's no wonder that some American reviewers, like Jay Weissberg at Variety, called it offensive and "may seduce unthinking auds with an infectious breeziness". I guess there's no real defence to that because it's actually true - but I also believe that perhaps one ought to pay the devil his due when a movie so offends but one isn't embarrassed to enjoy it. Driss makes fun of Vivaldi, Faberge eggs, opera performances and even Philippe's disability in the most insensitive ways but the poor man laughs along as because - hey, let's face it - it's actually funny. That's the kind of winsome chemistry at work here. Intouchables has formulaic feel-good frivolity drippin off its movie poster, shamelessly executin one cheap laugh after another but by golly me do you like how these two characters play off each other. Nevermind that the real-life character of Driss was an Algerian - the idea works.

Perennial wonderment:

You can do further readin on the actual persons from which this movie was inspired. Quite an amazin story.

Reminds me of:

Philippe's admin assistant Magalie is played by Audrey Fleurot, a buxom babe that reminds me of Gemma Arterton's Strawberry Fields character who helped James Bond locate his, er, missin stationery in Quantum Of Solace (2008). Wish there were more Hollywood exposure for her.

"Are you seriously gonna pay €30,000 for this nosebleed?"

I can't remember if I cried:

In the final scenes, Philippe is predictably given a wonderful surprise by his magic negro. The look on the old man's face is priceless and this is definitely teardrop territory. I saw this at an advanced screenin with the French consulate at Cineplex Odeon Varsity and filmmakers Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano were at hand to elaborate: "When we went to see the real Philippe, he said okay we can have his story but we must make it a comedy. He didn't want people to cry. Still, you all cried."

Watch out for:

Omar Sy's muscular dance floor antiques while Earth, Wind & Fire's 'Boogie Wonderland' plays. White guys can't dance, it's true. For the record, Omar Sy took Best Actor at the 37th César Awards against Jean Dujardin in The Artist, so that should pique your interest.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Good date movie for anyone seekin to impress their date with somethin foreign yet accessible. ★★★ 1/2

Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

This young lady stood around admirin posters instead of queuin up
and so paid the price of gettin lousy seats.
- Cineplex Odeon Varsity, Toronto. Photo taken 15 May 2012.

Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano being interviewed by local critic Richard Crouse as the end credits rolled.

These two were comedians!

- Cineplex Odeon Varsity, Toronto. Photo taken 15 May 2012.

Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd (2012)

"What? You mean some other joker is already famous
for robbing banks with face paint on?"

At a glance:
A decidedly indie Canadian product made by Canadians and starrin mostly Canadians, about the true life story of a Canadian bloke who went from war vet bus driver to wannabe actor and accomplished bank robber in 1949. The eldest son of a police officer, this slippery son of Toronto with two jailbreaks under his belt was Edwin Alonzo Boyd - and as I understand it, not that widely known among locals after all. In an interview, Canadian main cast member Kevin Durand said he didn't know about the Boyd Gang prior to his involvement. The movie trailer plays Boyd up a flamboyant, tapdancin rogue who flirts with the blushin tellers, but conceivably he and his band of miscreants were actually responsible for the biggest bank robbery of all time in Toronto. In fact, their unprecedented manhunt, escapes and arrests became the subject of the first news report on CBC TV.

"Are you sure nobody will make a movie about our scandalous
extra-marital affair and embarrass our grandchildren?"

Anyway, Boyd's story had been told before in the TV movie The Life And Times Of Edwin Alonzo Boyd (1982) starrin Gordon Pinsent but it was in 1995 that Toronto uni student Nathan Morlando contacted the real Edwin Boyd for biopic aspirations. They apparently developed a phone relationship and after 15 years, last week the husband-and-wife team of debutant director Morlando and producer Allison Black were at hand to see the Canadian general release of Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd (2012) after its debut at the Toronto International Film Festival last year.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Hey, you know it's pretty hard for me not to sing praises about any half decent gangster flick that comes my way, especially one about a real life criminal with folk hero qualities. However, as I watched this at the Lightbox on openin night with the filmmakin duo in attendance for a little Q & A, it dawned upon me that Citizen Gangster: Edwin Boyd was only half the movie it could've been.

Canadian actor Scott Speedman is Edwin Boyd, Toronto's slipperiest son.
The director says he actually looks like Edwin Boyd.

Despite a classy muted colour scheme to lend credence to the period detail, what he have here is an uneven crime drama, diluted by the dynamics of undue heed paid to various parts of Morlando's homework that he selected i.e. the uneasy focus on supportin characters when Speedman's Boyd was already in danger of appearin too pedestrian. The titular character had authority and looked great in the trailer but suffers from havin to have to share too much of the spotlight with other people who muddy the proceedings and have us askin what's so great about Eddie Boyd in the first place?

The real Edwin Alonzo Boyd
(1914-2002)

Through some admission by the filmmakers, we learn of production compromises that were made, and now they had me reduced to guessin which relatives said no to what, as the story arc did less and less to help make Boyd larger than life, somethin one has legitimate expectations of from watchin the trailer. Morlando's depth of research has somehow failed to convert to its emotional equivalent onscreen and we are left with a labour of love that definitely reflected the filmmaker's ambitions but flawed by production exigencies that weren't only concernin its admittedly small budget.

Standout support from Kevin Durand as a villainous colleague.
Maybe he would've made a more memorable Boyd?

Perennial wonderment:

Did Boyd's kids effectively disowned him? In an interview with Morlando, he was quoted as sayin: “The way he [Boyd] talked about his bank robbing exploits, he was still very excited by it. But when I talked to him about his relationship with his children and his relationship with his ex-wife, he couldn’t hide behind the fun of the bank-robbing… You could see it in his eyes that there was incredible loss and regret.” Yet the daughter, Carolyn, seemed to have approved of the movie accordin to the filmmakers, who are in turn heavin a sign of relief. Morlando told the Lightbox openin crowd that it was her creative input behind the literal money-launderin scene.

"But darling, if you steal grocery, you can't get the air miles!"

Most memorable line:

This is what I mean. They didn't even give him some cool lines to say.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
At the end of the movie, we learn through title cards of Eddie's fate but not before an unusual sequence of events that would lead him to some form of bizarre redemption. These events, if they had only been featured in the slightest, would've possibly reconnected us to Boyd and given the picture a badly needed gloss of epic. Perhaps Liam Lacey's take is more mature than mine, as he wrote: "In the Hollywood version, Edwin Boyd should have gone out in a hail of bullets and twitching limbs. Citizen Gangster deals him a more ignominious sentence: He is forced to become ordinary again." ★★ 1/2

Trailer for the curious:

Catacombs (2007)

Once you go black, you can even go pink.
Err... that doesn't really make sense, does it?

At a glance:

Another straight-to-DVD release that was pushed to many shores after it failed to make the big screen in the U.S. – pop singer Pink's movie calamity Catacombs (2007). Nobody's really bothered about her anyway (excuse the pun – but you're like Most Girls, You Make Me Sick and I can't Get The Party Started). The main attraction here is Shannyn Sossamon, the exquisite rich man's Angelina Jolie lookalike you might remember from A Knight's Tale (2001) opposite the late Heath Ledger, and more recently in frivolous fare like One Missed Call (2008) and The Heavy (2010). She's really got the looks, hasn't she? So why does she star in mediocre efforts like this Parisian caper?

"My career is in the death pits."

Bad news on the doorstep:

French foetus, anyone?

Oh it turns out the whole shebang is only about the Catacombs of Paris but filmed in Romania with replica sets. Never mind. The backdrop is creepy enough. It's mazy, it's dark and it's sexy. In fact, this movie has some of the best photography I've ever seen, what with its postcard-perfect, in-the-dark shots of Shannyn and Pink runnin about in the maze lookin for a way out. Hell it's like watchin an MTV music video! The soundtrack is pretty spot on. Why then is this movie so badly rated?

It's the story. Revolvin around a nervous American girl in Paris (Sossamon) who meets her crazy sister (Pink a.k.a. Alecia Moore) and her equally crazy friends, it could've been a popcorn movie with cheap, guaranteed thrills that would've put it on par with somethin like the latest Halloween rehash at least. Instead, its choice of climactic closure leaves much to be desired. After runnin about for a good hour, I'm not sure the audience would be satisfied with such an unconvincin end to the spooky chase. Don't expect too much skin either if you're watchin this in a scissor-happy territory.
Reminds me of:
Cave adventures in Malaysia. The guano stink is equal to this movie.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Maybe Shannyn Sossamon is trying to be the next Sheri Moon Zombie. Maybe she really hates her modellin and DJ past that much. Her screen potential is immense so someone in Hollywood ought do somethin about her quick before she turns into Amy Winehouse or someone like that! In any case, as far as this Euro pop punk chaser is concerned, slam this one in the C-grade DVD catalogue and then go buy it for some goth friend's Christmas present. A mutual friend is likely to receive the same DVD next year as long as you two keep quiet about it. ★★
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

DeAf Jam (2010)

In the hands of a talented poet, shapes in relation to one another

At a glance:

Here's what the literature says: "In DeAf Jam, Aneta Brodski seizes the day. She is a deaf teen introduced to American Sign Language (ASL) Poetry, who then boldly enters the spoken word slam scene. In a wondrous twist, Aneta, an Israeli immigrant living in the Queens section of New York City, eventually meets Tahani, a hearing Palestinian slam poet. The two young women embark on a hearing/deaf collaboration, a performance duet that is a metaphor for the complex realities they share."

Aneta Brodski, The Deaf Jew Poet

Bad news on the doorstep:

It was my first time at the historic Bloor Cinema where I viewed this, thanks to a chance invite from the friendly Jews. This 70min documentary (53min if you saw it on TV) doesn't particularly have an organised runup to the slam poetry climax, so helmer Judy Lieff benefits from havin the winsome tenacity that is Aneta Brodski as the main draw. Doesn't half hurt that she's quite attractive as well. My screenin had Lieff and Tahani in attendance - but they don't look entirely convincin when answerin the floor about whether the Israeli-Palestinian pairin was purely coincidental. While nothin is trivialised, one however does feel there's nothin immediately useful here to add to the political discussion other than a token "peace is possible."

Perennial wonderment:

Is it really true that some deaf people refuse cochlear implants because they are proud to be deaf?

Reminds me of:

The only deaf person I know - a colleague at the place I used to work.

I can't remember if I cried:
There was this bit when two deaf characters walk past a park with people playin music loudly and an exchange ensues about how wonderful it must be like to hear voices. As a hearie (one that hears), I've never spared a thought for anyone who could only dig vibrations. Clever use of muted mufflin at appropriate moments in the film help highlight what it must be like for someone who doesn't hear.

Watch out for:
A particularly lively and humourous performance where Brodski signs a strugglin sperm that goes all the way, beatin all others to penetratin the egg, symbolisin her victory in the world, to have been born.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Three and a half stars. Admirable work to put this out, especially since Lieff told the floor that it took 10 years to complete. For further readin, check out its official website and the trailer below.
Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

Judy Lieff (with mic) givin the audience the latest on Brodski's life.
Lousy pic, sorry.

Free Men (2011) @ Les Hommes Libres

Tahar Rahim plays Younes, a cigarette-smuggler in Nazi Paris
turned Moslem saviour of Jewish kids.

At a glance:

A staff favourite accordin to the Twitter handle for the 20th Toronto Jewish Film Festival where I watched this, French-Moroccan director and scribe Ismaël Ferroukhi's Free Men @ Les Hommes Libres (2011) is a spy drama apparently inspired by true events in WWII Paris where an Algerian immigrant found himself drawn to a local mosque that was secretly passin off Jews as Moslems in an attempt to save them from bein rounded up by the Nazis.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Now you can hit me on the head with a menorah but I don't think you need to be a expert on North African Jewish and Moslem fraternity to know that any movie about Moslems savin Jews will come across rather off. A review on Guamdiary has it that the director's "conceit has become controversial; his theme is based on oral history, anecdotes and some written testimony" and that Algerian-born Jewish historian Benjamin Stora has acted as an advisor. However, let's leave the divisive elements out of it for a minute and concentrate on its artistic merits. For this, one has to concede that while Free Men is technically sound, its humourless narrative gives it away as a laborious, politically-motivated assertion that isn't goin to win too many fans.

Perennial wonderment:

When will the Arab-Israeli war end? Bein a Malaysian (pro-Palestine government, no diplomatic ties with Israel), I jumped at the chance of attendin somethin like the Toronto Jewish Film Festival which is bein held at a cinema just a stone throw's from where I live. Better yet, bein a Chinese-Malaysian, no Jew here would think I'm an Arab suicide bomber, right? However the experience was strange for an entirely different reason - I was the only person among some 300 whose average age must be 105 years old. Everyone had white hair and those who don't, didn't have any. One in five walks with a cane. Where are all the young people hidin?

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Watch out for:
Tahar Rahim's masterful nuances. Great restraint every time, never needin to be wordy. Un Prophète (2009) must have been an industry benchmark in how to appear uneducated, hungry and likeable - all at the same time. 

Most memorable line:

One of the Arabic songs sang by a disguised Jew had the English line "everywhere you go, OK OK, come on, bye-bye". I guess a take on the Americanisation of the world. 

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

This doesn't have the class or the tenacity of somethin like Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011). Plenty of promise in several scenes but the tension keeps bein underplayed. Michael Nordine writes that: "For much of its runtime, the film is simply there, decent for the most part, but at no point immersive." Still, Tahar Rahim's strong screen presence makes it an excitin enough watch for me. Three stars.

Trailer for the curious:

Bonus material:

This nice lady is a TJFF volunteer. 
She must have thought I was a lost tourist.

The Fourth Man (1983) @ De Vierde Man

Renée Soutendijk forces you to reconsider your heterosexual stance.

At a glance:

The best Paul Verhoeven film next to Total Recall (1990), surely. A bisexual drunkard of a writer (Jeroen Krabbé) meets a mysterious femme fatale (Renée Soutendijk) at his book convention. He's a bit disturbed, always strugglin to make sense of things and to respond properly to the advances of the woman while maintainin his cool. Mysterious events and surreal hallucinations start to take place and you begin to wonder what is real and what isn't.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Well, the premise can be pretty basic but this isn't a movie you'd complain about once you've bought the DVD cover.

Perennial wonderment:

Solid performances throughout, with the Hitchcock blonde Renée Soutendijk bein the true star. It's said that Sharon's Stone's leg-uncrossing siren in Basic Instinct (1992) was based on her character.

Reminds me of:

Madness. Drippin madness. And the strength to overcome.

I can't remember if I cried:

Without spoilin it for you, it involves an act so blasphemous it beggars belief. I don't think any director has ever done it. Guaranteed to shock! Then there are some surreal sequences as well and these are quite creepy. The writer would dream of somethin bad happenin and it's quite suspenseful waitin for the event to materialise and wonderin how it would happen.

Do you have any idea what is goin on here?

Watch out for:
The Rabbit wrote: "After asking Christine to disrobe, Gerard comments that she has the fine figure of a beautiful young man. She brings her breasts closer and asks him if she still looks like a young man. Gerard presses his hands against her breasts and spreads them apart, saying, “now you do”. They are both turned on, and there’s also some subtle humour when Gerard apologises for slipping out of her during sex, indicating his general preference for the rear entrance."
Most memorable line:

Thom Goffman thinks he's Jesus in a Speedo.

There is a scene in which the writer was asked by the floor how he is Catholic in this day and age of modernity. He says: "Science is the product of imagination. Religion is mainly imagination. Therefore all science is Catholic." A clever rebuttal? Of course he then goes on to shag the woman silly. Ah the fall of man! Verhoeven himself intended this as a rationalisation of Christianity and religion as a whole.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Verhoeven's least successful film commercially - he frequently claimed that he made this film - goin OTT on the religious symbolism - just to please the snobbish Dutch critics, who had dismissed his previous work as shallow sensationalism. Time for Metrowealth's David Teo to do the same eh? Three stars.

Trailer for the curious:

China Heavyweight (2012) @ 千錘百煉

Float like a butterfly and sting like a PRC

At a glance:

Pugilism in the PRC gets some international attention in China Heavyweight @ 千錘百煉 (translated as "to be tried and tested a thousand times"). See, Chairman Mao banned boxin in China back in 1959 for bein "too violent" and "too American" as this film will tell you, only for the ban to be lifted some 30 years later, givin rise to people like coach Qi Mo Xiang (pic), the movie's star and apparently the Republic's first pro boxer. This technically accomplished Chinese-Canadian production by filmmaker Chang Yung is a mesmerisin sports doc that doubles as a social commentary, offerin a privileged glimpse into the lives of three people; the said coach and his two embattled protégés - Miao Yun Fei and He Zong Li.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Don't train hard and you'll be back home farming.
Then you'll be no one but your mum's kid.

While obviously a useful addition to the canon of cinéma vérité (as proudly expounded by the helmer), you'd have to pardon the pun when I say this lacks the finishin punch when it comes to dramatic urgency, though possibly intentionally so. Torontonian reviewer Justin Li calls it "the boxing equivalent of Steve James’ basketball documentary, Hoop Dreams (1994)" and that it is "rife with dialectical feelings of both desperation and aspiration... an essential social document on the hardships and lack of opportunity in the industrialised ‘New’ China" but one would've fancied seein more strife in the choices of the characters. Perhaps extra characters could've added more compellin viewpoints to further highlight the gravitas of their personal struggles. One odd omission from this otherwise wonderful film would be the existence of weight categories, somethin one would feel deserves to get some passin mention in a film about boxin.
Perennial wonderment:
Would you rather be a piss poor never-been boxer or a medium-income excavator operator?

Reminds me of:

Coach Xi is a doppelganger for a chunky street punk who used to run the local snooker joint in my old neighbourhood in Malaysia. He's a hard man and comes across likeable in the film, so we'll forgive him for bein decked in Manchester United gear all the time and also lionisin Mike Tyson. 

I can't remember if I cried:

When I heard the coach tell The Globe And Mail film critic Liam Lacey last night about the fate of one of the boys from the movie. I saw this at Cineplex Odeon Sheppard Cinemas as part of the annual Hot Docs Canadian International Documentary Festival, where the night's proceedings was simulcast across select cinemas across Canada. Coach Xi was flown in for the show.

The knockout facilities available in Huili, Liangshan, Sichuan.

Most memorable line:

"If you make the provincial team, you'll be China's official athletes. You'll be the country's people. Don't train hard and you'll be back home farming. Then you'll be no one but your mum's kid."

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Expresses the anxieties of these people but doesn't seem to really answer the questions it raises. Still, it's a rare look-in. What I love about documentaries like these is that they usually have sad endings. As Torontonian sportswriter Alex Wong writes: "Maybe the most depressing thought is this: without ruining the outcome of his comeback fight, does it really matter whether he wins or not? How much can life change, and how many of these students can actually improve their lives through boxing." Chang's next project Eggplant, about a Chinese weddin photographer, will be his first feature. ★★★ 1/2


Trailer for the curious: