Thursday, 25 July 2013

Paper Moon (2013) @ 紙月亮

In Paper Moon, the DOP fashioned a wau from Chrissie Chau's bikini.
Okay, I lied, but they might as well have done that, seeing how bizarre it was.

At a glance:
"Whaddya mean I can't wear this in Kelantan?"
Earnest but every bit as flimsy as its title, Double Vision / Astro Shaw's Paper Moon (2013) a.k.a. 紙月亮 is a peculiar PG-13 / CAT IIB botched time-lapse romance and I wonder how many of its shortcomings the wayfarin TVB director Stanley Law Tak Ming 羅德明 of Ice Kacang Puppy Love fame would admit to himself. Budget-backpedallin to the tune of RM 2.37m only to see an embarrassing collection of just RM 170k over its theatrical run back in January, it's actually a gorgeously shot picture with an luscious production design and several notable Hong Kong stars in its fold. Stars they indeed are, unless you're as disgusted as Anthony Wong when it comes to leggy leng mos like Chrissie Chau Sau Na 周秀娜. We'll come to that later. This cinema release is like an origins story based on the ntv7 teleseries The Iron Lady, starrin the wonderful Yeo Yann Yann as a ball-breakin matriarch of some sort in period times. I'd hate to giveaway the connection, seein that it's also a spoiler but if you've read the vastly differin synopses out there for this movie, you'd realise that the package is suspect from the off.
Bad news on the doorstep:
"Seriously man, when are they gonna call a lunch break?"
Several structural surprises short of goin great guns gonzo, Paper Moon is guilty of makin token references to everythin, includin its eventual connection to the TV series. After you have forgiven the jarringly staged flashbacks, and the intrusive score and sound mix (so often the bane of sappy Sino sentimentality and all forms of Oriental melodrama), we arrive at several most unfortunate chemistry no-go's, the most fatal bein -- who the hell is gonna buy a Lam Ka Tung and Chrissie Chau romance? Worst than havin no affinity with each other, ol' Gordon looks like he genuinely couldn't bear bein in the same room as her. The skinny? It's a convoluted caper about a poor and bitter kitemaker in Kelantan who comes across a sexy tourist one fine day. However, the deluge of sudden info in the final act will befuddle you no end. There's a lot of shoutin and cryin but nobody is touched.
Sucking eggs always leads to sex.
Perennial wonderment:
How Chrissie Chau maintains her Kim Kardashian career is beyond me. Forget the little known Best Actress awards and the name brand of Chrissie Chau for a minute to consider her performance at face value. Is she pullin off the crossover? She tries very hard but sadly, these dramatic roles are beyond her depth. Maybe in 10 years she can be the new Shu Qi but now that they've had a go with her and seen the results, maybe we oughtta keep her in the negligee catalogues with Angelababy for now.
Reminds me of:
Talkative ex-girlfriends (not mine) who send long text messages and cry all the time. Annoyin!
"Hmm... will Nik Aziz approve of us?"
I can't remember if I cried:
When Gordon Lam spoke some token Malay. That sums it up, really. Too much token and too little thought bein placed on tidyin up these disastrous character arcs.
Watch out for:
Some sex scenes on the DVD that didn't make the big screen. They were nothin much but at least singer Tedd Chan 曾国珲 got a go at Chrissie, eh? Good on ya, son.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
paper moon
At least Tedd Chan got a go at Chrissie, eh?
Good on ya, son.
Two or three rewrites were sorely needed to save this epic wannabe and wannabe epic. Wau, this movie has really brought out the worst puns in me. Bin my keyboard and shoot me already.★★