Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

At a glance:
rd 9"> Impossible to keep Michael at bay, robot count now increased from 14 to 46. Roboporno, its obscene CGI glory and all related cine-demons get a new lease of life in this earth-shakin sequel, as we celebrate the death of cinema. How can it be death, you ask, when the lucrative 2007 original grossed in excess of RM 18 million at the Malaysian box office, SG$ 7 million southside and a collective US$ 700 million across the globe? If anythin, cinema must be alive, drivin people from their homes to the halls to watch somethin to forget the sorry state of world affairs. Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is poised for some box office records. However, if a movie that's 80% movin robots (some completely CG), 15% MTV pop talk and 5% Megan Fox slo-mo bra support visuals becomes a resoundin global favourite, what hope is there left for Man? Might as well surrender to the Decepticons out of shame!
Bad news on the doorstep:
In all fairness, critics who slam this for a lack of story don't really have a point. It's 144 minutes of a dust-and-metal space adventure, paced very well. Its appeal crosses genres. It's Pirates Of Cybertron with cooler villains, it's Lord Of The Shiny Robot Things with Leboeuf as Frodo. It's the most advanced movin picture you can put into a reel. Yet the hollow pleasure of inanimate objects doesn't inspire. You may take the Hasbro toy home, but you can't seem to take home a satisfyin story because it's simply not real enough. Just about the only thing that's real in this movie was the quirky retired agent Simmons, played by John Turturro.
Perennial wonderment:
The flummoxin Megan Fox - come on fellas, she looks like a man!
Reminds me of:
Aah... it feels like so long ago when I was watchin the original cartoon on Sunday telly. The skies were blue, standalone cinemas had ah beng touts and Cybertron didn't have humans, least of all an irritatin Disney kid called Shia.
Watch out for:
Jetfire, the party-hopper who transforms from an SR-71 Blackbird into a grumpy British Decepticon. Ha.
Most memorable line:
Agent Simmons: What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
- Two and a half stars more than meets my arse.