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Kelly Chen: What the fuck movie have you cast me in?
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| Kelly Chen in nice armour |
At a glance:
Have you ever seen a hot air balloon carrying a
sampan? Well, in this movie, you will!
Bad news on the doorstep:
Firstly,
do not be fooled by the artwork – this isn't your run-of-the-mill war
epic. It isn't an expanded TVB kungfu drama either. If anythin, the
clumsily titled
An Empress And The Warriors a.k.a.
江山美人 is an MTV soap
with
Leon Lai and
Kelly Chen playin mismatched lovebirds - and poor
ones at that! You'd say: at least
Donnie Yen kept his shirt on,
sparin us the muscleman theatrics that tortured us for more than an
hour in
Flash Point. However, as war epics go, you wouldn't be spared
the bionic, one-man-kill-all Oriental heroism that oozes out of Donnie's
terracotta-type costume.
Kelly Chen, on the other hand, is still
poutin like a Chinese version of
Emmanuelle Beart, despite having had
so many opportunities since the
Infernal Affairs movies to beef up her actin chops. It is peculiar to see the songstress shout at men like
Maximus in
Gladiator, only to
manja up to
Leon Lai in the next
scene like a giggly schoolgirl. Together, they could hardly convince
anybody that they are in Ancient China, let alone that they're in love.
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| Weeee... our careers suck! |
Perennial wonderment:
That
being said, let's not be too hasty to cast the first stone on this
empress and her poor band of lost warriors. We can give consolation
points for the costume settin, can't we? Although the body armour in
the movie couldn't protect against mosquitoes, never mind arrows, they sure are nice to look at. This lends some credibility to the movie.
Sadly, all that money still went to waste when you consider that the
movie is largely forgettable due to its disengagin flow. The slow-mo
action sequences may have been cool 20 years ago but we have learned to
ask for more than action-wire assisted stunts through the years. Oh,
the story? Princess Fei-er inherits the throne from her warlord dad in a
short-lived attempt by General Mu-yong to keep this one other evil
general, her cousin, out of power in the Yan hierarchy. Guess what she
does with her monarchy when handsome medicine man Lan-guan comes into
her life?
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
By the way, I lied - Donnie couldn't resist takin his shirt off after all. You'll see.
★★
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
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