Dark Feed (2013)

Busty Rebecca Whitehurst provides some sex appeal for Dark Feed (2013).

At a glance:

Havin sold their respectable script The Ward (2010), Rasmussen brothers Michael and Shawn have now successfully made their directorial debut with R-rated horror Dark Feed (2013). Warnin: it's an Asylum movie. Lionsgate's synopsis reads: When a film crew moves into an abandoned psychiatric hospital with a shadowy past to shoot a low budget horror film, they get more than they bargained for. The late nights and lack of sleep begin to take a toll, and the longer this crew works, the more the leaky, wet building seems to be coming back to life, feeding off its new inhabitants. As the shoot wears on, members of the crew exhibit increasingly strange behavior leaving those still sane realizing they need to get out of this place before they too succumb to the building's infectious hold, the only problem, the old hospital is not ready to let them go.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Victoria Nugent as Beth

While it has an above average soundtrack and pacy enough editin throughout, things start to look very, very basic after the Evalena Marie prologue - and it's also annoyin that she completely disappears thereafter with no further mention. All the characters don't impress and the lines are pedestrian. I think the problem is perhaps how the characters do not take on a certain dramatic heft when the supernatural sets in. There are no set piece kills to remember either.

Perennial wonderment:

Rob Getz of horrornews.net writes: "Seriously, how many times can we watch an innocent follow a peculiar noise to a poorly lit hall, calling out hopefully as though they possess not one molecule of foresight or intuition? It didn’t have to be this way."

Reminds me of:

Grave Encounters (2011) and every other cheap horror flick before it that is set in a psychiatric hospital or mental asylum.

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Not impressed. However, I hope the Rasmussens will get more backers next time and be able to make a better indie movie. For more information check out its official website and its Facebook page.★★

186 Dollars To Freedom (2012)

Alex Meraz as vicious inmate Nicaragua, the most watchable character.
I think he's one of the Twilight wolves.

Peruvian beauty Anahi de Cardenas.

At a glance:

Camilo Vila's cool-soundin 186 Dollars To Freedom (2012), previously known as the less marketable The City Of Gardens, is a U.S.-Peru effort by Four Fish Films that superficially explores the sociopolitical horrors of Third World South America. Based on the true story of the film's writer-producer, Monty Fisher, we're clued in on a young blonde surfer livin happily with his beautiful girlfriend in 80s Lima, Peru, who naively lets his visa expire and finds himself behind bars in the notorious El Sexto prison. When ruthless Peruvian pigs discover the gringo in prison, they plant coke in his backpack to extort money from him and his Beverly Hills family. Wayne refuses to grease the wheels and quickly becomes a non-person, even to his own Embassy. The movie purports to depict the grim system of corruption, torture, prison violence and wholesale murder. Title is in reference to the precise amount he didn't wanna pay.

Bad news on the doorstep:

John Robinson is the lead while Johnny Lewis plays a Hare Krishna follower.
There always seems to be one in every prison movie, huh.

Iffy first words set us off on the wrong foot, but all the good camerawork and moody photography is undone by lead star John Robinson (Gus Van Sant's Elephant) who seems to take the dramatic weight away from the movie because it's difficult to care for his naive character or his languid performance. This unremarkable approach would've worked in a documentary but not here. Supportin characters appear very staged due to the corny narrative.

Michael DeLorenzo plays bent cop Gutierrez.

Perennial wonderment:

Village Voice writer Nick Pinkerton observes: "If one were to base one's knowledge of South America solely on the movies set there that make their way into theaters in these United States, one could be forgiven for taking away the impression that the continent's entire population is evenly divided between unwashed prisoners and aviator-shade-wearing secret police, and that its only industries are dilapidation and torture."

Reminds me of:

Mel Gibson's Get The Gringo (2012), an infinitely more enjoyable movie.

Watch out for :

Anahi de Cardenas who plays the female lead is easy on the eyes but she doesn't get too much to do. There's also a run-out here for one-time sex siren Deborah Kara Unger. Sure looks like it's been ages since the time she got fresh with Michael Douglas in The Game (1997).

"Take him, he's got a tighter arsehole!"

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We definitely feel on location but the experience is not very emotionally rewardin. Oh well, at least it's not as pretentious as Oliver Stone's Savages (2012). For more information, check out its official website or its Facebook pages new and old. Me, I'd rather rewatch somethin like Prison On Fire (1987) any day. ★★1/2
Bonus material:
Here's Monty Fisher's statement about his first-hand experience and how the movie came about.

Alex Meraz and John Robinson in a brawl.

"I was waiting for a plane flight back to the United States. I had just escaped from the El Sexto prison in Lima, Peru and had secretly journeyed by car, bus and on foot more than a thousand miles to cross the border to freedom in Ecuador. I was exhausted by my ordeal, but I had one last night to "enjoy" in Latin America. I decided to see a movie. The movie was "Midnight Express", the true story about the American who almost lost his mind and life in a Turkish prison. I left the film shaking and in a trance. I could barely speak. Somehow, some day I promised myself that night, that I also would tell my story about my time in a Peruvian jail, and I too would show it on a big screen.

Casting Couch (2013)

Casting Couch offers inane and unintelligent middle class frat humour.

At a glance:

[Insert boring lines here]

Jason Lockhart's Casting Couch (2013) a.k.a. American Lie (workin title) is precisely the kind of white trash mediocrity that passes inane and unintelligent middle class frat humour under the banner of fun-lovin indie T&A teen comedy. The movie, shot like a documentary, is every bit as silly as the plot - Desperate to meet new girls, six down-on-their-luck guys come up with the ultimate plan to hook up - cast a fake movie. When tons of hot chicks show up for the audition, it's a matter of who's willing to go the farthest to get the part.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Sure hope they at least had some fun shooting this trash.

10 minutes in, you'd realise that you're better off watchin Jackass reruns or straight porn, I'd say. Justin Smith, the narratin actor with the most screen time, is unfortunately dull and unfunny. There ain't enough skin to make the fast forward worthwhile, even. I can't imagine the most inebriated pothead sittin through this DVD in its entirety.

Perennial wonderment:

Why does it exist?

Reminds me of:

Pedestrian efforts like American Reunion (2012) and any of them dreadful Judd Apatow comedies, except those have some measure of merit.

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Watch the trailer on its official website and forget about it. Insufferable drivel, really.★
Bonus material:

The Wicked (2013)

Jess Adams in The Wicked (2013). Would you bother?

At a glance:

Caitlin Carmichael from Lizzie in a small role.

Ding dong, the witch is alive, says the keyart. Not to be confused with a long overdue reupdate of the 1931 musical of the same name, or even the 1998 Julia Stile movie, Peter Winther's Michigan teen slasher The Wicked (2013) is an excellent example of a predictable and overdone horror movie that simply cannot transcend its shoestring budget to produce an iota of originality. It's a story about a witch who lives in a haunted old house in woods. Story has it, she survived the witch hunt of the 1700s. For generations, folks believe that if you throw a rock and break her window, "the wicked" will get you. Interest in the old story gets renewed when a 7-year-old girl (Caitlin Carmichael from Lizzie) is missin from her home because she had apparently broken the witch's window the night before. Always up for a good fright and a chance to impress the girls, 18-year-old Zach (Justin Deeley) and his friends decide to sneak into the woods and find the mysterious old house where the legendary witch supposedly lives. Unbeknownst to Zach, his younger brother Max (Devon Werkheiser) and Max's love interest Sammy (Diana Hopper) sneak along. They all soon discover that whatever happens between them and the witch will end up in a DVD bargain bin.

"Shit. Are we looking back on our careers already?"

Bad news on the doorstep:

Thoroughly derivative. Just because you can make a movie, don't mean you should.

Perennial wonderment:

Seems like the only remotely fun witches we've seen recently are those in the Hansel And Gretel movie and also the trailer for Oz (meanin I didn't like the full apparition in the movie proper). I guess it's a matter of money. Still, if they knew the don't have a very convincin or screenworthy villain, they need to compensate with a stronger supportin cast or at least some humour. Shame so much effort went into it, lookin at these Facebook photos. Hope they had fun, at least.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

One of the better elements in the movie is the rivalry between the cop and the young girl. Otherwise, it's hardly worth a fast forward. Pleased to report that The Wicked isn't unwatchable - but what an unfortunate state of affairs this is.★

Scavengers (2013) @ Space Soldiers

"So... is something gonna happen in this movie sometime soon or what?"

At a glance:

"Shit, boss. This space suit makes my perineum itch."

Whenever a DVD has an extraneous promo sticker on the box, you know you're in trouble. This one says "Sci-Fi-Horror in style of Event Horizon". If you read that and still bought it, then you have nobody to blame except your silly self. For Travis Zariwny's Scavengers a.k.a. Space Soldiers, I aligned my expectations to accommodate a low budget sci-fi yarn, thinkin it oughtta be somewhat fun but cheap and instantly forgettable like last year's Lockout (2012) starrin Guy Pearce, maybe with more chicks in sweaty space apparel to compensate and much lousier editin. The synopsis reads: A team of space scavengers discovers superior alien technology that threatens the balance of the known universe. Hotly pursued by a rival crew of intergalactic mercenaries, the Revelator crew must fight through the deepest reaches of space to locate and protect the life-altering device.

"If you'd just open the shower door,
we could kiss for real, you know."

Bad news on the doorstep:

Half an hour into the movie, I could no longer continue. It had the most banal tech talk, which droned on and on. The characters and the performances are desperate. There is nothin worth investin in.

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Ain't it absolutely shockin that filmmakers can actually forget that a movie is supposed to be entertainin? Awful movie.★

Double Xposure (2012) @ 二次曝光

William Feng 馮紹峰 and Fan Bing Bing 范冰冰 have zero chemistry together.

When will Fan Bing Bing go Hollywood?

At a glance:

Li Yu's heavily promoted Double Xposure (2012) a.k.a. 二次曝光 is a particularly mouth-waterin project for me because her previous Lost In Beijing (2007) a.k.a. 苹果 was such a delight to watch and here she gets to direct the mesmerisin Fan Bing Bing (范冰冰) again in yet another seedy Mainland dish. When these two get together, Fan almost always gets a sex scene or two and the poster invariably cashes in on her star appeal by depictin her in the throes of wet romance. We're introduced to a confident Fan as a plastic surgery consultant and her plastic surgeon boyfriend William Feng Shao Feng (馮紹峰) who is in fact two-timin her with her hedonistic bestie Huo Si Yan (霍思燕). The affair is soon uncovered to murderous ends but that ain't even what the movie is about, would you believe it.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Oh dear. Where's the script gonna go from here?

Yep, this quickly turned into an over-elaborate exercise in stylish futility, as the story implodes into almost a separate movie by the second half of its 105min run, upsettin genre expectations by rainin us down with too much information and iffy plot twists. There's no satisfaction to be drawn from the bizarre connections, leavin us with a lot of wasted cool CG work and soundmix to admire.

Yummy prospect. Undone by too much story.

Perennial wonderment:

When will Fan Bing Bing go Hollywood? I think she has one English-speakin role comin up, no?

Reminds me of:

Well, the initial frustration evokes Switchblade Romance (2003), that's for sure.

Watch out for:

Joan Chen (陳沖) as the clinic proprietor. She's unremarkable but reliable as always. Nice to see her get a run-out here.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

If this movie ended after the first plot twist, it would've at least been a competent mood piece. Unfortunately, the final product is a messy psychodrama that simply tried to do too much. I'm goin backwards now to check out Buddha Mountain (2010) a.k.a. 观音山, the last Fan-Li collaboration.★★
Bonus material:

Fairly watchable Chinese seductress Huo Si Yan 霍思燕

Sorority Party Massacre (2013)

Leslie Easterbrook and seven sexy skinny birds can't save this movie.

At a glance:

Eve Mauro
was the only reason I watched this.

Talk about a movie that just passes you by. Described by the producers as a cross between Scream and Scary Movie in a castin call, the impotent and hapless Sorority Party Massacre (2013) is brought to you by the team behind Paranormal Incident (2011), boastin several known B-movie staples such as Kevin Sorbo (Julia X), Leslie Easterbrook (The Afflicted) and especially the delectable Eve Mauro (Penance, The Chaos Experiment), who had me sold, even if this was gonna be fast-forward fare. The synopsis reads: In danger of losing his badge, a big city detective agrees to aid a small town sheriff in a routine missing persons investigation only to discover that at least one girl has gone missing in the sheriff’s sleepy fishing town of Grizzly Cove each year for the last two decades. When a body finally emerges on the lake and suspects literally crawl out of the hills, the two lawmen realize they’re being toyed with, and to make things worse, the killer seems to have set his eyes on a group of sorority girls who are not only isolated by the lake but have their own nefarious plans in mind. Outnumbered and out of time, the two lawmen must solve the mystery of the missing girls or suffer the same fate.

Kevin Sorbo lets you know he's still around.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Forget about the synopsis. Borin start, middle and end. Despite the availability of so many fine young things at their disposal, the proceedings are so underwhelmin and muted, with no credible tension nor mystery. You will have to look long and hard for any reason to invest in any of these cardboard characters. I've yet to read one positive review about this movie.

Marisa Skell gets top billing.

Perennial wonderment:

Why am I writin this review and why are you readin it?
Reminds me of:
So many other indie flicks of the same ilk that just forgot how to have fun. One thing that was up to mark in the movie however - the SFX makeup by Tara Lang. Too bad it's a lost cause.

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Was it ever shopped? Or did it die without a meaningful release, before landin on the torrent sites as sleazy scrap? Hate to see so much effort go down the drain. Go show them some love on Facebook, anyway. They look like they need it.★
Bonus material:

Don't even ask.

Dead Man Down (2013)

Something so seductive about Noomi Rapace. Feral and frail at the same time.

Colin Farrell and Noomi Rapace

At a glance:

R-rated revenge thriller Dead Man Down (2013) is the lousily-titled American debut for director Niels Arden Oplev (Män Som Hatar Kvinnor, 2009) and while it ain't groundbreakin material, a highly committed international cast and several touches of European sophistication maintain a slow-burn seductive mood throughout, even to its predictable Hollywood climax. It's sorta like 21 Grams (2003) with a touch of Taken (2008) and Donnie Brasco (2003), but with unexpected muscle and mayhem, especially towards the end. A better movie than the trailer suggests, though it still died at the box office, you can read.

Bad news on the doorstep:

Most of the plot devices here have been done to death but fortunately our fascination with the characters keep us distracted enough. The chemistry between the lead pair is nicely nuanced and masterfully understated, although I can never care for Farrell's role in any movie. There are run-outs here for F. Murray Abraham, Armand Assante and Isabelle Huppert. More from them would've been satisfyin. Hopefully when the dust has settled after its box office disappointment, the DVD release will come with some extra features and this film can be discovered again.

Perennial wonderment:

What is it about Noomi Rapace that is so mysterious and relentless? Even when she's not wearin a single flake of makeup or when she's playin disfigured characters like the one in this movie, she commands incredible sex appeal. I think she has that kind of feral energy that simply begs for sex, mornin, noon or night. Recommended watchlist - Babycall (2011), Prometheus (2012) and of course the Millennium trilogy.

Reminds me of:

The American (2010) and The Mexican (2001). Everythin Rapace seems to haunt me.

Watch out for:

Wade Barrett, if you're a wrestlin fan. WWE is one of the film producers, so they got a man in. By the way, can anyone let me know what was the French song that was playing on the radio and also at the end credits? Please drop me a note. I really like that song and I can't seem to find out about it anywhere.
[update: The song is Eblouie Par La Nuit by Zaz]

Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?

Flawed but highly enjoyable B-movie. Like the music, like the actors. You could do worse. Hope Oplev gets more Hollywood projects to attach his name to.★★★